You're in a relationship with a dominant woman, and you long for her to treat you in a particularly dominant way. You have been thinking about it for some time, and you imagine it when you're alone, pleasuring yourself to the tune of what most consider a taboo fantasy and filled with excitement because it is such an incredible turn on for you. You want her to do it more than anything else; you might just self-combust if she did. But... You're nervous, afraid, apprehensive... You don't know how she would respond if you asked for it. Would she yell, freak out, be disgusted, think you are a total pervert? Since you don't want to risk it, you suffer in silence, and wish it could be...
What is this act of domination that curls your toes when you think about it? What could be so difficult for you to request of your partner? Well... The act itself is simple enough in your assessment: All you want is for your woman to bend you over and let you have it with a strap-on. You wish you could ask her to step into a harness, strap herself in, assume the position behind you, and just let you have it with her dildo. You want this more than anything, but you just don't know if it's worth telling her how you long for her to dominate you in that way.
As much as there are men who crave being anally dominated by their dominant female partners, there are as many dominant women who would love to fuck the daylights out of their submissive partners -or engage in a form of ass play that will certainly give their partners at least a temporarily submissive role- yet they do not want their male partners to panic. There are so many stigmas and labels that both sexes associate with some good, hard strap-on fun. Let us dispense with these myths, and have the fun begin!
First and foremost, strap-on play elicits a homophobic response in both sexes that is completely unfounded and in appropriate. So a man longs to be anally penetrated by a woman in charge. Her hammering him silly with a strap-on and his ecstasy over being fucked by his woman's big cock does NOT -I repeat, does NOT- make him a closet gay man. Just because he wants his female partner to bang him in the backdoor for hours does not mean he has any desire to be similarly penetrated by any other man. His attraction for his woman taking the reins, ordering him to assume the position, and fiercely stimulate his P-spot with her filling dildo simply means he wants her to take control, put him in "his place," and wear him out. There are no secret, hidden meanings in his desire. Even if she does not jump to any incorrect assumptions about his sexuality, she may act disgusted or repelled by the suggestion of such taboo sex play. Maybe she will only act shocked and respond in a negative way because she feels she is being tested and is expected to recoil in disgust. However, such a reaction may not be indicative of how she really feels.
On the flip side of the man's apprehension in asking for strap-on sex, it should be mentioned that there are those women who long to exert this type of dominance in a sexual relationship, but she also fears the potential reaction of her partner. If she tells him she wants to put him on his hands and knees and fuck him like a little bitch, he may immediately protest that he is NOT gay, and, therefore, he wants no one "going there"! (Why must it be insisted that a man who enjoys ass play -whether mild, intense or extreme- is hiding his true sexual orientation? This is simply not true!) He may feel that she is testing him to see what his response will be to the suggestion of such forbidden sex antics.
In either event, the key here is communication. The fear of a less than positive response must be overcome, and thought invested into a planning a way in which the request can be presented calmly and diplomatically. The manner of approach is crucial. No one is suggesting that you should ever pounce on your partner and overwhelm her with a shocking demand that she turn your ass up in the air and give it to you until you pass out. Out of respect for her feelings in regard to any sexual request or discussion, a sense of tact and delicacy is advisable. If it makes you feel more comfortable - and you think she will be more at ease- try blending the topic into the broader context of multiple sexual fantasies and potential desires in order to feel her out. Only you know the sense of comfort, trust, and ease of communication that you do -or do not- share with your partner. Tailor your approach to your interpersonal communication style with her. Ask her what she thinks of various ideas before presenting your own. The only way you will ever get her to dominate you in the way you desire is to somehow express that longing in a way in which the two of you can explore the possibilities together.

 Trained to Serve Your Mistress' Strap-On
Okay, my sissies, slaves, and other submissives, now is the time for your Mistress to be clear on what is my favorite tool of sexual submission and domination: strap-on sex! Under my firm hand and extensive tutelage, you are guaranteed a complete education in the finer points of bending over and taking just what I intend to give you. It is my goal in keeping you in your rightful place to train you to handle a dildo with your hands, mouth, and ass - and I can assure you that it's not a question of whether it will happen; it is something that with absolute certainty will happen, and this is how...
I will introduce you to my custom-made harness, which will be the bearer of the variety of dildos with which I intend to have you become more than slightly intimate. You will find that your Mistress has quite the wide collection of shapes and sizes of toys that I will use in my training efforts. I will begin assessing your "starting point" or baseline for my anal intentions immediately, and I will decide precisely what you need and when I think you need it. Your ass will quite literally be mine, and I will take you to places you never dreamed would be possible.
The first experiences you will have with my dildo are those in which you will learn to manually handle and worship your Mistress' cock. You will learn that the only cock you will handle on a regular basis will be mine. Your own little plaything will be off limits as I school you in handling the dick that matters most - and that dick is mine. You may imagine that touching my cock is to be done in the way that you are accustomed to -and wish that I would allow- touching your own. You will begin practicing the same styles of strokes with your hands that you will next perform with your mouth and then finally with that ass that I own - and will completely conquer. I will have you begin with long, slow, fluid strokes, and encourage you to really feel the texture and size of my dildo with your hands. Imagine how that is going to feel when I brush it across your lips, slide it across your tongue, and press the head time and time again against the back of your throat. Think about how excited you will get when I order you to drop down on your hands and knees and place my cock against the crack of your ass, teasing and taunting you with images of what is to follow. I want this gamut of images flooding your mind while your hands are adoring my toy.
Once I feel that you have been adequately familiarized with handling my dildo with your hands, I will expect you to get that mouth ready to welcome my oral instructions. Part your lips, and extend your tongue. I will trace those lips with the head of my cock and slide it against your tongue. I will tease you with my delicious dildo until you are drooling and begging me to force it down your throat - and I will! Of course, I shall decide if I want to take my time and slowly push that cock past your lips and feed you an inch at a time or give you the entire length in one swift, firm thrust. Either way, you will happily and thankfully receive my cock in the exact manner I should choose to give it to you at any time. You will become so adept at orally worshipping my various dildos that you can take hard, pounding thrusts as easily as you can take long, slow strokes. Your mouth will be another part of my playground over which I have full and free reign.
Of course, I will then push you to the area of said playground where I intend to have the most fun; conquering your ass is going to be your Mistress' greatest pleasure. I may start you out on your hands and knees, have you lower your head and spread yourself open for me or I may order you to lie down on your back and "spread ‘em!" Once again, I will decide exactly what I think you need and deserve in order to be broken and transformed into my dildo-craving bitch. Yet again, you will learn to receive my cock in any way I give it to you. However, you will become most familiar with having your ass hammered repeatedly as I stretch you open, fill you up, and fuck you senseless. Rest assured that you will be hopelessly and utterly submissive as I show you who really has the cock and balls!
While you may be a bit apprehensive in the initial stages of my strap-on training, you will eventually long and beg for me to use your ass as I so desire. It will become part of who you are as I turn you into the perfect submissive. Now, go fetch that lube, and get ready to take it not like a man, but like your Mistress EmmaJane's bitch!

Dildo 101: The Basics You Need to Know Before Strap-On Training Begins
The offerings of dildos these days are a land of plenty. There are as many sizes, shapes, and colors as one can possibly imagine. Whether you want realistic or non-realistic, soft and pliable or firm, flesh-colored or one of the colors of the rainbow, short and thin or long and girthy, the dildo world is your oyster, and, if you can dream up a dildo, you can essentially have it! Within this dildo diatribe, we will review the basics in dildo selections and care.
Let us begin our dildo briefing on reviewing some of the factors you should consider upon commencing your quest in search of the perfect dildo. While some dildos are shaped like a replica of an actual penis, there are also dildos available that defy the traditional penis shape. Think, research, and decide first if there is a particular shape you have in mind. You will also immediately find in your dildo browsing that the sizes you can get -combinations of both length and girth- are endless, and you should choose dimensions based on that with which you realistically think you can begin comfortably. You will also need to decide if you will be more comfortable with a dildo that is softer and more pliable or you prefer to select one with more firmness. These are all important factors that you should consider when planning to obtain your new, faux penis toy.
Now, let's take a look at some of the basic types of dildos. As I have previously mentioned, there are realistic dildos, which are modeled after the same of an actual penis, and then there are those dildos that are made with variations -altered shapes, ridges, bumps, extra smoothness, etc.- that make them unlike an actual penile replica. Some dildos include not only the insertable, penis-like extension, but also have partial or full balls included at the base. Also, regarding the dildo bases, some are smooth and blunt, some have suction cups (which can be used as a stand-alone or suited to use with a harness), and some are made with bases that specifically accommodate Vac-U-Lock harnesses. As there are a plethora of single-headed dildos, there is also the option of double-headed dildos, some of which are fashioned with extra flexibility and the specific intention of solo use and there are others designed with the use by two partners simultaneously in mind. For those of you wish to incorporate strap-on play into your dildo fun, there are harnesses made for attachment of the dildo to various parts of the body, including the waist for genital area extension, the thigh, and the chin, depending on where you desire dildo placement according to your purposes. With regard to dildo firmness and flexibility, you have options ranging those materials that are generally soft and pliable (such as jelly, silicone, and Cyberskin) to those which vary in firmness (such as vinyl and some jelly dildos), depending upon the particular grade of the material used . You should also take into account the durability, longevity, availability in sizes and shapes, and cost factors when making your final decision.
In determining the best size with which to begin, use the "finger test." While your own individual finger size should be taken into consideration, you can go by a "general" assumptive rules of diameters that (1) your pinkie and ring fingers held together are roughly 1-1/4" wide, (2) your index and middle fingers together are approximately 1-1/2" in diameter, (3) your pinkie, ring, and middle fingers held side-by-side are about 2" across, and (4) your index, ring, and middle fingers together are in the neighborhood of 2-1/4" wide. Again, remember that this is simply a basic guideline and exact diameters will depend on your own fingers, so always take this into account. Using this guideline, experiment with using different combinations of your fingers in order to see what feels most comfortable and stimulating.
Keep in mind that, when it comes to you dildo and the material from which it was made, lubes are not all created equally nor are all lubes friendly to every dildo. Water-based lubes are safe for use with all dildos, while you should exercise caution when using silicone-base lubes as they will gradually degrade silicone dildos. As a rule of thumb, be sure you take care to be aware of the base of your lube before using them with silicone dildos, and, should you prefer and opt to use the superior, silicone-based lubes with your silicone dildo, simply know that the life span of that dildo will be shortened. You may find the trade off well worth the need to replace your dildo a bit sooner.
In concluding our Dildo 101 summary, it is essential to point out that you exercise excellent hygiene habit and keep your dildos clean, both prior to and immediately after use. Before you use your dildo, clean it thoroughly with preferably a cleaner made just for sex toys. Even if you do not have a cleaner made specifically for dildos or other sex toys, you always have soap and hot water. This same rule applies to disinfecting your dildo after playtime. Remember, this is a toy that is being used the inside of your body, and you want to ensure that it is clean and free of any bacteria that you really don't want introduced in such a sensitive area.
Now that you have the basics upon which to base your dildo-buying decision, it's time to start browsing, make your selection, and let the fun begin...