So, I know it's been a VERY long time since I made one of my preachy posts, and no one really reads them anyway, but I'm hoping that in talking about these kinds of things, those who DO read them will get a better understnding of how I think, and maybe even find they agree with me.

Today's topic is Polyamory. Now, I can't claim to be very involved in the polyamory movement, so if I get stuff wrong, those who are should feel free to correct me. But what exactly is it? Well, it's most basic definition is a loving relationship between multiple people. In this way, it is distinguished from polygamy (marriage between multiple partners), and swinging (casual sex with multiple partners). Many people view the cheating as a desire to engage in polyamory, but nonmonagomy doesn't equal cheating. See, one of the most important parts of a healthy polyamorous relationship is that ALL parties must be consenting. One of the most commonly reported issues in polyamory is the issue of jealousy, which is, essentially, the result of differing levels of consent. Since consent is so essential to polyamory, when issues involving it arise, it can be very damaging.

One reason many people are made uncomfortable by polyamory is that they feel that love should be able to survive on its own, and that if you're REALLY in love with someone else, you don't need anyone else. On some level, this makes a certtain amount of logical sense, but human emotion has never been logical, so of course there are people for whom this is not true. Another way of looking at it is this: would it be reasonable to say that if you love your first-born child, you shouldn't want to have a second? I don't think many people would say that that makes sense, so clearly, love can exist between multiple people. And it can be beneficial! I read a great example once: Let's say you hate opera, but your girlfriend loves it. Well, maybe her other lover can take her out for you. Now, let's say this other partner is also great with computers, and, in return for taking out your girlfriend, he agrees to fix your computer. Seems like a pretty good deal, right? Or maybe not, whatevs.

Now, raising children in a polyamorous household is another difficulty. First, of course, there are the legal difficulties, since custody would, of course be BITCH to figure out. Typically, though, polys will have the biological parents serve as the main parenting figures for the children, and the other partners serve as close family or friends. Many polys have their children think of their extra parners as Aunts or Uncles, or step-parents. Of course, "coming out" to your children and trying to explain what's going on, especially to older, teenage children can be difficult, but many polys report that it doesn't seem that much more challenging than dealing with new step parents in a monogamous relationship.

But who are polyamorous people? Well, mostly, they're bisexuals. Now, don't misunderstand me: most bisexuals AREN'T polyamorous! But most polyamorous people are bi or homosexual. Surveys suggest about 50% of polyamorouspeople are bisexual, while about 40% of bisexuals say they're polys.

This brings me to my next point: me, personally. Well, as I make clear in my user info, I am bisexual, or at least bicurious. However, I'm also pretty young, and haven't exactly been very sexual active so far in my life. Basically, I've never really had a committed relationship of any sort. However, I have to admit I have been interested in polyamorus relationships to varying degrees throughout my life. Am I poly? I don't really know. I suppose I'd be willing to give a polyamorous relationship a try at some point, but I'm not convinced it's really for me. I guess you could say I'm poly-curious? Now, since what every person looks for ina relationship can be different, I must warn you that what I'm going to describe is the most ideal for me, I think.

What I see as the ideal poly relationship is actually pretty conservative. Personally, I'd worry about having a large group of people in one relationship becoming too drama filled, so I'd want a relatively small group. Preferably, I'd want a bisexual group, where everyone involved can feel love for ALL others, instead of being in the relationship for one individual. Now, before people start offering to let me into their polyamorous relationship, let me just say that that's not what I'm looking for! I just wanted to explain a bit about this topic, since it's going to feature in several of my upcoming captions, and I figured that people wouldbe curiousabout where I personally stand.