DISCIPLINE 

Lately, I’ve been getting numerous letters about disciplining a male, techniques, what to use, and how.   Several have been from women wondering if this is the right thing for their situation.  Let me start by saying this: If you are a strong, dominant woman not only is physical discipline recommended, it’s vital for both your happiness, and his.   

Physical discipline allows you to express your displeasure on the very source of your frustration.   It’s no longer just your emotions, your mind, or your voice involved, but your body.  You will find in the beginning, a heady sense of empowerment that is so powerful sexually, that it’s almost indescribable.  To this day I still get a deep sense of sexual satisfaction from disciplining a male, and it has become a weekly event in my home.

For the weak and submissive male, discipline is of course physically painful, and embarrassing.  But despite whatever physical and emotional trauma you cause him, the act of discipline is curiously comforting to the male.  It teaches him that you are not only aware of his transgressions, but you care enough about him to do something about it.  He begins to understand that you are completely in control, and that everything including his own well-being is in your more-than-capable hands.  

But most importantly the male not only ‘hears’ your authority, and ‘sees’ your authority, he now feels it, painfully, and nothing…NOTHING! can so rapidly improve the behavior of a male.  You will see changes in a matter of hours and it will typically last weeks.  Eventually, the changes become permanent.

There is one exception to this.  I’ve encountered it only twice in my life, and that is a true masochist.  Trust me; plenty of people THINK they are masochists.  They’re not.   Some people are better conditioned to take certain kinds of abuse, and if you find your husband or boyfriend is not giving you the proper response to one type of discipline, just change it up.  It is likely you’ll find something rather disagreeable that you can use to discipline him.  If your male is enjoying himself, then it’s not discipline.

As far as technique is concerned, I like nothing more than a good old fashioned spanking.  It’s intimate, physical, and extremely humiliating for a man to be brought to tears in front of a woman, especially when you’re the cause of it.  It’s a powerfully authoritative experience for the male, and deeply satisfying and empowering for a woman.  Unlike other methods it is very tolerant of mistakes, ignorance, and occasionally being a little too passionate in its administration.  I offer the following guidelines, which have worked for me for years.

(1) ALWAYS RESTRAIN HIM:  The feeling of powerlessness that he gets from not being able to move, or defend himself when you administer discipline produces a deep sense of anxiety, and fear. This is very important when disciplining a male.  It will also make the experience more intense for both of you.  Trust me, once the pain becomes intense enough, he will remove himself from the situation if not physically restrained, and that cannot be tolerated.

(2) DO NOT USE SAFE WORDS DURING THE SESSION:   If you are disciplining him correctly it should be painful enough to cause him distress, tears, and eventually deep, racking, sobs.  I promise you that he WILL use his safe word, every time.   If you are using a flexible rod or cane, it will happen before the 4th stroke.  If you use safe words in your relationship, then allow their use before the session if you wish.  However the moment he is restrained, that bullshit is over.

(3) USE AN INSTRUMENT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH:  I consider myself rather skilled with a bull whip, but I would never consider using it on a male.  Being good isn’t good enough when you’re talking about something that can rip into a man that severely.   Do not use something just because it sounds, or looks cool.  If you’re the authority then it’s your responsibility to know your tools, and be skilled in their use.  Every strike should land precisely where you intend, therefore you should practice diligently, and hold yourself to even higher standards of precision than the male you’re spanking. 

I use a hard leather strap in most cases.  When the discipline needs to be severe I use a flexible rod that I have named “Screamer” (You can imagine why).  If you use a cane or a rod and you’re not playing around, I doubt you will ever go over 10 strokes.  It’s unbelievably painful.  It quite literally can make a male piss himself. 

(4) DO NOT COMFORT HIM WHILE DISCIPLINE IS BEING ADMINISTERED:  Do. Not. Do. It…. His tears, begging, and screams will turn you on, but it will also turn on your nurturing side.  Ignore it.  There will be plenty of time to nurture him when the discipline is over.  He will need it then.

(5) ALWAYS SPANK HIM TO TEARS:  It causes deep shame for a male to cry in front of a woman, and this shame is one of the incentives he will carry with him as a reminder.  True tears are also a sign that you’ve broken through his defenses, and he has become receptive to your authority.  What you tell him right after disciplining him, will go straight to his heart.  (Be careful what you say).  My current submissive starts off with lots of grunts and groans.  He tries so desperately to be strong, and endure the pain, but in reality he’s a bit of a wuss.  His grunting is followed by tears, and a kind of hissing sound.  This quickly becomes real crying, with some begging.  Now on some men this would be my stopping point, but on my sub, ‘Pattie’ (The name I’ve chosen for him), he still has another step to go.  The begging and crying fades into deep heartfelt sobs.  It’s like a dam bursting and is absolutely uncontrollable once it starts.  He begins telling me how sorry he is for everything.  Not just what he’s being disciplined for, but things he’s done in the past that have little to do with me. 

Once the sobbing starts I usually give him five more hard strokes with the strap (Not the Rod). I love listening to his little heart-felt soliloquies.  Even though by this time my pussy is on fire, I listen to him with deep respect.

(6) ONCE THE DISCIPLINE IS COMPLETED SPEAK TO HIM:  Do not untie him.  If he is on whipping table or bench, pull up a chair so that you may look him directly into the eye.  If you are emotional, crying or not prepared, take a break before speaking with him.  He won’t be going anywhere…Lol! 

Once you are ready talk, speak to him in a quiet, reasoned, voice.  Explain to him why he was disciplined, and what you expect of him in the future.  Do not laugh or make fun of what happened.  He may be deliriously happy once it’s over, so he may laugh, or joke.  This is perfectly normal, but do not join him.  Just command him to silence and tell him plainly what you expect.  If he becomes difficult at this stage, or irreverent toward you, just the threat of continuing the discipline is usually enough to gain immediate silence and attentiveness.  (In my entire life, I’ve only had to go back and repeat a spanking once).

(7) LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR AWHILE:  After you’re done speaking, leave the room. Give him time to sort out his emotions.  If he’s crying it’ll give him time to regain himself.   It will also give him time to think on your words, while regaining his mental balance.  I usually give Pattie 15 minutes after a good strapping, and 30 minutes when I use the rod.

(8) TENDERLY CARE FOR HIM, AND LOVE HIM:  Once you’ve given him time, turn on your nurturer and care for him.  He will need it.  Untie him, and if he’s bleeding or severely bruised, then wash him gently, and use a numbing cream.  Kiss him, stroke him, and tell him how proud you are of him.  Do not be surprised if he starts crying again.  This is perfectly normal.  Just hug him against you, let him know it’s over, and love him.   

I generally fuck Pattie shortly after a good cuddle, but I do it with tenderness and love.  This isn’t the time to be trying out a big strapon or some crazy sex toy.  Use something smaller, intimate, and easy on him.  I also suggest the love making occur face to face.  Kiss him and reassure him as you slowly fuck him.  He’s very raw and vulnerable right now, and bringing out his feminine side is amazingly easy to do.  

I’ve noticed that after a good spanking Pattie becomes very sensitive physically, and emotionally.  He responds to gentle fucking almost like a woman, he becomes so soft, and submissive.  I love watching him squirm in pleasure under me.  It makes me cum every time.