I started crossdressing when I was 14. For about a year before I used to lie awake in bed dreaming of wearing girls' clothes, imagining what it would feel like but never having the courage to actually try. Then my mum got a job and I woud have the house to myself when she and my sister were both out.

I have dressed off and on since then. In my teens and twenties I dressed a lot, moving from my sister's clothes to my Mum's and when I left home my own. I liked to dress as a quite sexy office girl in smart skirts, blouses and stockings, slightly showing off slightly slutty underwear.

I gave it up when I got married, which I have been for about 15 years. My marriage recently ended (nothing to do with dressing), and when I helped my wife pack up her clothes I got such a strong sensation as I handled the pretty, soft clothes, smelling so sweet with her perfume. I so wished I could put them on (in fact I wanted to put them on in front of my wife). The old hunger is back, and I have to decide whether to give in to it.

Since I stopped dressing, the internet has really taken off and more and more I find myself browsing sites like this, looking at photos ofgurls dressed in such pretty sexy clothes. I can tell from the looks on their faces that they are loving the feeling of dressing girly, and I know the sensations they are feeling - their little clits held captive in pretty pink panties, the tight restraint of a bra with the straps feeling like a harness. Stockings gliding up shaved legs - a feeling like none other I've ever had. Knowing they look cute and attractive.

And more and more I have been looking at photos of gurls enjoying cock. Sucking cock, cum spilling out of their mouths or squirting over their  faces. Being fucked, with cocks deep in their pussies. And they give me a deep, dirty feeling inside. I want to join them now. I used to be a pretty little transvestite called Amanda, who told herself she was really a straight man who liked wearing girls clothes. I now feel more like Mandi, a slut craving cock who will dress accordingly to make it clear what I am and what I want.

I know I am on the brink here - I could decide to stay respectable as I have for 15 years. Or I could surrender myself to Mandi and let her take me. The more I look at Imagefap the stronger the hunger becomes, though.