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Fear
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Never underestimate the role of fear in this lifestyle. When I first started hanging about with black men and women, there was always an element of fear, they were bigger, tougher, stronger, more direct, focused and the men defiantly had bigger cocks. it was a fear about whether I was going to get my ass kicked or be otherwise humiliated. I ended up, in my slavish willingness to please, preferring get my ass reamed, and hope that I could please there much more masculine men, and their self assured women. Over the years I have been made to suck their cocks, worship the pussies of black mistresses, fucked, basically raped in that I have been given no choice where, when and by who I would be used. I have had my girlfriend taken from me, and indeed I was fucked in what had been intended to be her wedding dress. Have been chastised both figuratively and literally, fucked in public, in the street (well in a back lane at night actually), cross dressed, feminized, given hormones, fucked in front of my former secretary and some employeEd, and now I work as a secretary and feminized office slut in my own company, taking directions from real men. I have come to crave black cock, and the direction given to my life by being the unabashed, almost debased servant of strict black men, and women. But the element of fear remains. there are more powerful than me, even more so since I became fully involved in the lifestyle, but in their presence I always have my heart in my mouth, worried that they will be displeased, dissatisfied with my service, sexual or otherwise. I endure, in fact quite enjoy some degree of physical correction, spankings, or even a rough humping, but in the end the element of fear remains. I am desperate to please, and I shake sometimes in apprehension that I will not satisfy my masters and mistresses. when involved in serving duties, usually as some sort of feminized maid, I literally shake in fear while serving black men and women, partially in anticipation of the sexual debasement that usually follows, but also simply in fear that I will displease them, and be found wanting. The edge this puts on my life, while engaged or in prospect of being in the lifestyle is immense. if my little sissy clitty was not locked away I am sure it would be per entangle aroused and frigged, but I have long since had such self pleasure trained out of me.
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Posted on : May 20, 2013
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