What to say about my history?

I always knew I was female, despite going through maridg, children etc and dressing "in the closet". My time in the closet and chat rooms I met a guy who "brought me out" and gave me confidence in who i am. I started dressing more and realised this was the real me. It was only as I started my separation and my ex accepted what I was doing that this guy (dom) started to take more control. As I was separating I was not having any sex. Whenever we chatted eithier online or on the phone he started to gain control, whenever we were in contact I was to make myself hard, but never cum. He showed me new images, clothing, controlled more what I wore(under my male attire at that time) and when I dressed (always slutty). It was not long before I only had to see his name for me to get hard. I always had to prove with images (even if at work!)

When we finally met it was in the (old) family home where i left the door open and was kneeling in the hall, blindfolded. He walked in and the next thing I felt was his cock in my mouth. He continued to use my moth many tiimes we met and finally fucked me by tieing me over the kitchin table.

He introduced me to bondage and in the end it just felt right to dressed as a slut tied and used...

Since then I have had a number of masters, all of whom have used me in a manner similar to this.  At the moment I have only online master who control me via cam or tasks and photos

I am now a full time girl and will have the op at some point. I am very happy in my life as a female but the need which my first master instilled in me is very deep and I feel uncomfortable when I have not been used