I messed up and now I don't want to love again, I made a mistake so bad that it cost me more than I was ever willing to lose, You could say I will always be the one to blame, I will always be the one who messed up and made all those stupid little mistakes that drove her away, I will never be the same again, Without her I dont even see a future, I see a day, A night, An hour or maybe just a second but NOT a true future, Not one years ahead, I can barely survive the days, The nights are just as bad, I have lost more than the will to live aswell as the will to love but I must carry on asif everything in life is peachy keen, I must keep following the set path of life and pretend nothing is ever wrong, Pretend the whole world is perfect, I know I made mistakes, I know I was probably the worst person anyone could of chosen to date BUT I did see a future when I was with her, I saw kids, I saw a house, A dog, I saw me and her growing old together, Watching our own kids grow up and have kids of their own, I saw me and her with our own graves right next to each other so we could spend eternity together, I saw me and her in heaven spending all of time together, Just been a happy couple, I saw marriage, I saw beautiful white/blue dresses, Flowers all down the aisle as she walked down to meet me, I saw that one perfect moment when we finally kissed in the rain, The moment I proposed, That one little moment I got down and asked her to finally make me happier than anyone ever thought possible, Now since she has gone I see darkness, I dont see a wedding, Don't see any love, Any happiness, I just see nothing, A blank page where my life was once written, A deep dark void of emptyness where maybe I do belong, I guess what i'm saying now is that without her I dont want a future, Dont want love, Dont want happiness, I just want a life where when the world finally see's I am truly alone it takes pity on me and say's *It's your time now, It's time to come on home, It's time to leave the world in which you no longer belong*