My 3 weeks of punishment at John's place was without doubt the most painfull experience of my transvestite life and the strongest indication that Master no longer wanted me. Although it was John's place and his equipment, from the start everything was managed by Barbie. My first 3 days and nights were permanent suspension bondage with electrodes connected to my ears, mouth, tongue through my nipples and belly piercings, cock, toes and at times an electrode stuck in my arse hole. Alwears wearing a full mask with inbuilt gag, no sight or sound, the regular electric charges totally scared me. Especially the one in my mouth and tongue left a terrible taste and gave me a headache. The charge through my arse hole seemed to go through my whole body and when my nipples were shocked, it felt like they were burning. Sleep was difficult as being in suspended motion I had terrible nightmares and being waken regularly after a jolt of electricity. Food was always liquid feed through a pipe into my mouth. My pees and shit just happened naturally although I never felt being cleaned up after one.

Barbie was there when I was released and instructed me to kneel before her. I was instructed to worship her cock and arse hole. I was very happy to lick and suck her, and swallow her cum at the end. The 3 days of pain was just the start, but before anything else she dyed my hair jet black as there could only be one blonde in the family, namely Barbie. At least that comment gave me a greater confidence that I would be staying with Master, albeit that Barbie was now the favourite. The other present from Barbie was to have the tip of my cock to be pierced and a piercing on either side of my ball sack. My foundation make up was much thicker and sluttier, with very heavy eye liner and makeup. The look was very mediterian, which I admit I thought looked really sexy.

The next 2 and a half weeks was a hell of regular bondage for long periods of time in the damp and cold surroundings of John's dungeon. Enemas of cold and warm liquids and I would have to squat over a bucket to relieve myself. If anything missed the bucket I would have to lick up any mess on the floor. Barbie loved to tie me to a wall and fill me me with tape water from the hose until my stomach was bloated. She would pat me on my belly and call me her little pregnant fairy. Rubbing my stomach only hurt me more that the heavy load of water that I was carrying and was stretching my insides. The end result was always the same. I would bring the whole load up and then I would have to clean it up.

I am a passive transvestite who loves to be put into tight bondage and to be taken advantage of, and sexually service male or female. It is the totally helpless state that turns me on.  I am not into straight pain but that was in the main what I suffered. Initially it involved elevated bondage by wrists or ankles, normally being chocked by a cock down my throat when hung upside down. Many tortures involved different methods of impalment through my arse hole or hours on a fucking machine going deep into my arse crevice. The piercings in my cock and balls were used to hang wights off. One time I was left outside for 6 hours secured to a pole. My hands were secured behind my back in a reverse prayer arrangement and my ever so little titties were spread with one on either side of the pole, and then they were secured together by feeding a thin metal link through each nipple hole and screwed tightly on both ends. Unless I keep my balance I would split the nipples as the rod was pulled out. To make it more different my legs were lifted off the ground and I was tight to sterrips on e3ither side of the pole by my ankles. The fianal part was a dildoe on the end of a pole driven into the ground and inserted into my arse hole. To take the pressure off my legs and not to damage my beautiful nipples I nhad to let the dildo go deeper into me. It rained the whole time. I was cold, I was scared of hurting myself and it felt like I was splitting in two through my arse hole. My bowels wanted to be relieved and that was creating huge pains in my stomach towards the end. When would it end? I begged over and over again every time Bambi came out. She wanted to know how I would please her if I was released. I promised to do the most dirty things to her.

 I was not allowed to shower or allowed any type of feminine hygeine. The best I could expect was to be hung up outside and hosed down. Even though it is the middle of summer this was a very cold exercise and I so missed the lovely feminine smell of my soap and body sprays. I felt like a guy with boobs and I was starting to even smell like a guy. Okay if you want to argue the point I am a guy with boobs, but I could present as a convincing female slut. By the end I was growing hair under my arms and I could have sworn that I had a shadow around my chin. I was so ugly but this did not stop John from regularly pimping me out again when Barbie was not around. Most occasions it was at night when groups of guys would call around for a dogging season. Always in John's lounge room with his wife watching. Cock up my arse and in my mouth was really turning me on. I would be dressed in a leather micro miny, suspender and stocking and 6 inch heels. Topless with clamps on my nipples. The men just loved to raise my skirt and spank me until I cried and sucked their cocks harder. Pulling my clamped tits pulled me closer to them and their cocks further down my throat. Other times on all fours, being raped in both ends. John's wife particularly liked it when my hands were tied behind my back as I was fucked. On every occasion after the clients had left John's wife would open her legs and I would satisfy her clit orally. The final part was always a long kissing season with her so that she could taste her own cum from my mouth.

On other visits the guys were not so macho and they actually got off on sucking my cock or watch me trying to masturbate myself in front of them. These little performances strongly confirmed what I was becoming more and more worried about. My cock was shrinking even more. It was extremely difficult to get any sort of decent hard on and it was almost impossible to cum, even with the aid of lubricant. I feel like I am in a permanent state of arousal and can not satisfy it. The last couple of times that I could cum (a long time ago), the best part of arosal was to hold my seed in as long as possible by gripping the head of my cock. No one can understand how sexually frustrated I feel not being able to cum properly. I spend so much time lately trolling through Imagefap files trying to find that special tranny picture that I can relate to and bring myself on. I had hoped that my previous blog for help on other good women in peril sites would help but there have been no replies.