I am a 55 year old professional man.  I am married – I have been married three  times. I am looking for online friendship and fun. I am not looking to meet, or cam or do phone. I am a kind, gentle person – very loving, but very lonely. My wife is a wonderful woman but she is older and because of that we have no physical relationship at all. I miss this terribly. I have always considered myself straight. But I had an intense experience when I was younger in school and lately all of the memories of this have come flooding back and I find myself intensely interested in guys.

I attended a boarding school and I lived in a dorm. My first year there was a tall, skinny, quiet, nerdy and wimpy. There was an older boy in my dorm – his name was Billy – he was a jock and, quite frankly, a jerk. He picked on the boys who were younger and weaker mercilessly. He would jumpy guys kick their ass and laugh. He did this to me. I didn’t like him and was scared of him. He would also pinch and grab and he was vulgar. Anyway, all this went on until Christmas break. When I got back, he stopped picking on me. He became my protector and my “friend.” He also got very touchy. One night after the dorm parents had finished their rounds. He slipped into my dorm room, which I shared with one other guy. I had the bottom bunk. Billy sat on my bunk and talked with my bunkmate about sports and girls – especially how he had fucked all the girls on the cheerleading squad and what a stud he was. While he was talking he slowly slipped his hand under the sheets and started caressing my body. He motioned for me to be quiet. I was scared, but I didn’t dare object. Besides it felt good. He unbuttoned my pj tops and then slipped lower and opened my bottoms. He started rubbing and feeling and playing with my cock and balls. It felt soooo good. This went on night after night. He would find me during the day and squeeze my cock through my pants and warn me not to say anything and then tell me to be sure to be naked tonight. So, I would slip into bed, strip off my pjs and lay naked waiting for him. He would always slip in the room and slip his hands under the sheets. He also got to pulling off the covers and looking at me in the moonlight. I am not sure whether or not my roommate ever suspected, but he never let on. One night, after all of that he whispered to me to wait a half hour after he left and slip into the little bathroom which was at the end of the hall. It was in the shower area and there were no rooms around it. He left and I slipped on my pjs and waited. After a while, I got out of bed and crept down the hall to the bathroom. The light was out, but I slipped into it. Billy was there. He closed and locked the door and turned on the light. He made me strip naked for him. Then for the first time he took off his tshirt and pulled down his bottoms. It was the first time I had seen him naked. He rubbed him cock over my body and we rubbed cocks together. He wanted to know if I jerked off. I told him that I did. He asked if I wanted to see him jerk off. I said yes. So he took his cock into has hand and started jerking. He wanted to make out with me while he did it – so I made out with him, he would tell me to do things – “rub my balls,” “finger my ass,” – all the while he was jerking his cock. When he came he came hard with lots of cum which all went into the toilet. Then he sat down on the toilet and took my cock into his mouth and began to suck. It was the most fantastic sexual experience of my life. It felt amazing (only two other experiences come close – those were with women – I’ll relate them if anyone is interested). Eventually he let my cock pop out of his mouth and he told me to jerk the rest of the way – I did and came hard. He licked up the cum. After we cleaned up and got dressed, I turned the lights off and returned to my room. That was the beginning – we had this intense sexual experience. We would touch and suck and jerk at various times and in various places. He seemed to like taking chances – like in the locker room – or the supply room for the art department. We almost got caught. All the while he had a beautiful girlfriend and was this major jock. One time I made the mistake of touching him in front of others and he clobbered me. Eventually I went home with him for spring break one year and he pretty much kept me naked the whole time. Or he dressed me in panties. He also shared me with a couple of his friends. It was during that trip that he fucked my ass for the first time. I was by the end of the visit – his bitch. And then he graduated and it was over. No more. I have not had a real experience with a guy since. I had no idea how to initiate that and besides there were girls to play with. I think I have ignored this for years. But it has come back recently and I think it is why I have an obsession with porn and masturbation. I also think that I am probably bi – not really straight. But the years have gone by and I am not in a place now to be experimenting – except online.