all my life i thought of myself as normal girl, a Lisa, (not saying to lump all lisa's together) i never thought about it or even considerd it to be different. i also did not "notice" it in my tummy, or stuff like that...

 of course 'normal' always has a great deal of variety. i do have my own quirks here and there. drinking coffee out of black cups for example. that shit creeps me out! or clowns. jesus christ! 

 but i grew up, some way or the other as everyone does. living as my parents intended, thinking like they did - and i do not say that with remorse or bad feelings! i think it's a good thing to start life as you parents intend you to do it. usually they want what's best for you and give you hints to start your way. not speaking about 'forcing' here, also not speaking about never starting to use your own head.

there may be exceptions, but there is one to every rule, isn't there? and i do not say that the path they show or pick for you is necessarily a good one. but nevertheless i think they believe it is

am i making sense?

now i am on my own feed for some time and i got the whole, "not everything is golden thing".

what i wanted to say before i started with all this rambling? i always thought that i am Lisa not a Stephanie. well. stuff changes - and yes. i am talking just sexuality now.

 maybe i really started to listen to myself a little later...