I pretty much know what I want to say in this post. Therefore, I have a working title in mind as I write this. But I am struggling to find the words for a title that will have the right connotation to the reader as well as the right meaning. So bear with me.

The purpose of this post is to let readers know that there is a difference between my sexual fantasies and the kind of behavior I would engage in when it comes to real life situations. It occurred to me that I need to write this, because some people might see a disconnect between the About Me section of my profile page and the types of galleries that I have favorited.

Now it is also true that on an emotional level (and perhaps over the coming months a physical one, also), I am going through a second puberty. This is a time when I am taking another look at the choices I would make in life when it comes to sexual intimacy, choice of partner and so on.

A person might fantasize about marrying Prince Charming and living in a beautiful castle (or the modern day equivalent of a rich husband and mansion) or being the player who wins the World Series for his team, but a healthy person does not let such fantasies get in the way of living every day life. There is a difference between pursuing your achievable goals, objectives and dreams and getting sidetracked by daydreams and unachievable fantasies. No matter how much I fantasize about it, I am not going to win the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, I am not going to sing like Josh Groban, and I am not going to win Miss America. There are some people for whom those are reasonable objectives, but in my circumstances, not for me.

What would be reasonable equivalents of those goals for me at this point in time? Getting in better physical condition, achieving a passable female voice and developing an attractive femme appearance.

Now to move this back to the sexual realm, what are some of the things were I draw the line between my fantasies and what I would actually do in real life?

1) Without a doubt, the most important thing to me is safe sex at all times. There are some nasty things still floating around out there and getting one of them is not a very good thing to do to yourself. Some of them are deadly. Yes, treatments are being developed, but if you want to gamble, go to a casino or an online gaming site. The rest are inconvenient, annoying, debilitating, costly and a waste of time, energy and resources.

And condoms are not a foolproof method of protection. There are STD's that are able to pass through the membranes of condoms. Compare sexual protection with software that protects your computer. It is better to use it than not, but stuff still can get through. Unfortunately, it is a lot easier to clean a piece of equipment from a computer virus than to clean the human body from an STD. You can't just back up your human data and enter it into a new body that you purchase.

Also, an STD is not a gift that says, "I love you." Even if you don't have a partner now, you might want to have one in the future. An STD might be a gift that keeps on giving, but it is not the kind of gift I want to receive or give.

So what are the best ways to practice safe sex? Testing, know your partner and faithfulness to your partner. Which leads to #2 ...

2) I absolutely would not cheat on my partner. Never have and never will.

And I would not want a partner who would cheat on me. To my knowledge, it has never been done to me, so I can't say for certain how I would react if it did. So I can't say that I would automatically terminate a relationship if I caught my partner cheating on me. But I do know that it would be a bumpy road, and it would take a lot to restore my trust in my partner.

Yes, physical safety is important. But there is more than that. Emotional scars are also damaging. Some can be more devastating than a disease. Fantasies deal with objects. Real life deals with real people and their needs, wants, desires, feelings and emotions.

Now what two consenting adult partners decide together to include in their sex life is up to them. Even here, in theory, there are limits: involving third-party adults without their consent, involving children (anyone not old enough to give an informed consent) or life-threatening acts are a few that come to mind.  I am sure there are others, but my purpose is not to explore every nook and cranny of extreme fetish behavior. What I am trying to say is that if two consenting adults enter a relationship and find that their sexual interests match, then it is none of my business. However, if those mutual sexual interests include bringing other people into the sexual activity, then please go back to #1 above!

Now it just so happens that I recently shared a sexual fantasy story with someone who thought it was well-written. And with that encouragement, I was considering posting it on Fictionmania. But the Fictionmania site was down all day today. And in hindsight, I am glad that I couldn't post it as originally written. Because I realized that the story included a part that could be interpreted as an endorsement of cheating on one's spouse. So I either will not post it at all, or I will find a way to rewrite that portion if I can find a way to do so and keep it as interesting or even improve it.

3) I would not intentionally do something to degrade another human being. This would be difficult for me to do even if the person verbalized that they wanted it done to them. I would never do it if it was against the other person's will.

Within some of a my favorite galleries, there may be a picture here or there with a cuckolding or forced feminization theme. In real life, I would not be involved in these activities. I know that in some cases, the person saying "no" deep down wants to be put into those situations and this is part of the kink for them. But since I do not know the personal situation behind these pictures, I will assume that "no" means "no". 

In the event that I didn't preview an entire gallery carefully and favorited a gallery that includes such pictures, let me state for the record that I am not into BDSM, scat or pissing/golden showers as a sexual activity. I also did not and would not knowingly include any pictures of minors that a reasonable person would judge to be child pornography.

A common theme in TG literature is a dominant person telling someone else (almost always a person being feminized) that they must really like what is happening to them because that person's penis is getting hard. If men fall for this in real life, they are pretty gullible. It is one thing to want something but need to go through the motions of having it forced on you. It is another thing for someone to claim that they know what you want better than you do.

Look at it this way. Some women get aroused by nursing their baby. Does it mean they want to have sex with their infant? Absolutely NOT. In some rape cases, the general shame that the victim feels by being violated is compounded by shame at the knowledge that they became aroused during the rape. Again, this does not mean the woman wanted to be raped. There are involuntary nervous systems involved and the human psyche is too complex to make the blanket statement that a person likes an activity if their body responds to it in a sexual way.

Another example, this time relating to transsexuals. A MTF transsexual who wants her penis surgically removed feels revulsion when her penis is aroused. It is certainly not what she wants to happen to her, to be reminded of her remaining maleness.

4) I consider myself submissive. But that is not the same thing as being a Submissive. I am willing to let a partner take the lead in a relationship, be the primary decision-maker, etc. But I have no desire to be a slave, nor to be in a Master-slave relationship, nor to worship another person: love, cherish and respect, yes; worship, no.

Somewhere in my late teens and twenties, I became pretty well acquainted with oriental philosophies. In the concept of yin-yang, male-female, active-passive, the passive, yielding female nature is not equated with weakness. Each has its own form of strength. When I studied tai chi, the teacher explained that the inspiration for its invention was an evenly matched battle between a snake and a crane. Some of the tai chi moves mimic the coiling and attacking of the snake (male-active). The rest are based on the yielding counter-moves of the crane (female-passive). Remember that the battle was evenly matched. Both were equally strong and successful in the battle and one did not subdue the other. Indeed this concept is present throughout oriental martial arts, where many of the moves are based on yielding to the attack in a way that uses the attacker's strength against the attacker.

The kind of woman I aspire to be can be both soft and strong (not invincible - that lyric of the song is foolish). Muscles provide one kind of strength. Inner resolve and determination character are more passive, but can be just as strong or more so.

My friend Alberta responded to an earlier post and referred to woman generally being able to handle pain better than men and cited that this is well-known among hospital staff. Now I understand the veiled look of surprise on the face of nurses the few times that I have gone through a painful medical procedure such as getting stitches, major dental work and such. As they only see me in boy mode, they are surprised that I am handling the pain as well as I am or that when I come back for a follow-up, I report that I didn't need to take any of the pain meds they scribed for me.

Now I confess that when it comes to expectation of pain, I react like an absolute ninny. The scarediest scaredy cat on the planet. But when the pain is actually there, I must admit that I pass the test and bear up quite well.

Anyway, the words on my profile and the galleries that I favorite or download are to keep with the sexually charge nature of this website. The blog is for me and to let those who care to read it know more about who I really am.

And I suspect that as I begin to settle down within my transformation, I will grow more distant from this website. It won't hold as much interest for me and I will look more to living in the real world. But for now, I will keep favoriting galleries, occasionally posting a gallery here or there and perhaps even posting a fantasy story or two.  I will either post it on here, or let you know that it has been posted on Fictionmania or whatever site will allow me to post it.

Love, Lois