Hi! I’m  in the process of transforming into sissy slut Allana. I’m  a bi-sexual  sissy male,  40 years old, 5’7” tall, 42A-35-38, , 75kgs,both nipples pierced,  dusky, in Bangalore, India, hopefully your potential future French maid-sissy husband and willing slave to you and your lovers. Is that shocking?  I hope not. Because if you’re really the woman I’ve been searching for you’d be expecting nothing less, a sissy to mould into someone you can begin to love, (love at first sight? There’s no such thing! I’m a romantic, but a realistic one. Love grows from attraction, acceptance of one another and over a period of time), someone to share all the girlie things girls do, someone who’ll actually listen when you feel like talking, someone who’s comfortable with you taking lovers and talking about them. I'd relocate anywhere for the Mistress of my dreams, there's nobody more important!

My earliest sexual fantasies in my pre- teens revolved around enduring bondage and torture along with my woman as a rite of passage to matrimony, a sign of our worthiness and commitment , so to say. Mind you, I’m not a pain slut, it mostly revolved around the scene where  my cock (which henceforth I shall refer to as my clit) and balls, and my imaginary lover’s breasts,   being bound and weighted down, while we hung from the ceiling, our legs spread as far apart as possible., for days on end. There were no fantasies about physical sex at that age.  My earliest physical experience with a woman was at a very young age, about 5. My parents had left  us siblings at my grandmother’s home and we studied at a school nearby.  All we kids used to sleep together in the living room. One night, I was woken up by this girl, who must have been about 15 then and was also staying in the same house and studying at the same school. She asked me if I wanted a drink. I assumed she meant water and was too polite to refuse. Well, she instead exposed her breast and told me to suck her nipple. I sucked and sucked, but though she had no milk, I was too shy to tell her so. This used to happen on a number of occasions till one night I finally got the nerve to tell her that she had no milk. That was the last I got to suck her tits. She and her friends would teased me about it in school.

My teens, like most, I suppose,  was a time of discovery, sparking my fascination with women’s lingerie. It  began with my sisters’ underwear. I was developing tiny tits that encouraged me to try on their brassieres, which I used to stuff with my socks to make up a presentable bosom.  I was particularly inclined to Roman togas and harem girl loin-cloths, being easy to fashion out of thin bed sheets.  I also used to sneak into my sisters’ room late at night and would try to pull down their panties and get a glimpse of their pussies, while they slept.  I also discovered my exhibitionist side: late at night when everyone was asleep, I used to creep out onto the balcony in my bra and panty and lounge on the chairs there.  It made it more exciting that it was open to the road, though at that time of the night there was absolutely no traffic and the nearest houses were across the road.

 Needless to say, after a night when I’d fallen asleep in my bed, dressed in my sister’s brassiere and with a bed sheet wound around my crotch, I was embarrassingly woken up by my parents. My father was surprisingly  very understanding about it and at that point broadly suggested the option of gender change. I suppose, not having it explained thoroughly, the fear of ridicule and the unknown and the foolish thought that that was not the macho option stifled my thought processes. He even took me to a shrink, who was not at all helpful, putting down my behavior to just hormones brought on by puberty and that’ll I’ll outgrow it. I blew my chance there and  to this day I rue that. Oh, to have grown up as a girl, bonding with the girls around, sharing fashion and make up tips and hot gossip, dressed up openly in feminine clothes. I would have given anything to take hormone shots that would give me a rack and ass the boys would love to get their hands on and I’d have loved showing my assets off to get them hot,  not that they weren’t already, what with the amount of porn mags that used to make the rounds during evening study hours.  And, I wouldn’t have been one of those snotty cock teasers who leave them hanging high and dry, I’d have been one of those friendly understanding girls, a really “popular” girl that they could confidently take around to the back of the building with an unwritten guarantee that they’d blow their load. Well, instead of all that, I got a bullworker, one of those exercise thingies that give you broad shoulders so you’re mistaken for a man. I didn’t have any girlfriends as such in my teens and through college, just a couple of regular girls at the dances, but that didn’t go any further. I was incredibly naïve when it came to making a move on a girl and terribly shy and so perpetually horny that,  if anyone had taken advantage of me sexually, I’d have gladly submitted. I would have been easy meat for any pedophile.

 As I entered puberty, my gorgeous bull of a brother introduced me to bisexuality and an appreciation for cock. I enjoyed playing the tease. We shared the same bedroom, separate beds, and I used to make it a point to go to bed earlier, get  stark naked  and spend a lot of time arranging the covers so that when he walked it and switched on the lights, he’s get to see a naked ass-cheek inviting him or my cock, innocently uncovered. This  would  invariably get me his cock to suck for dessert.  Over the years, till he moved away to college, I was his ever-willing  cum dump. I still recall, that on his 18th birthday, he got to watch to a porn movie with Dad and an uncle, as a treat. Unfortunately, they didn’t get him a hooker, but I as waiting in my room and he came in after the movie and dumped his cum in my mouth. Sadly, the one and only time we tried anal intercourse, we got busted by our mother, and boy, was there a scene.

During puberty, I started taking pleasure in wearing a crude cock ring around my clit, you know those metal circular adjustable clamps that are used to tighten a hose on a water tap, with a screw for tightening the diameter?, yeah, one of those. I used to find it comforting and sexy to wear.  I also started inserting thin paintbrush handles, the ones used in art classes, in my ass.

In high school, I was lucky to meet  a wonderful librarian who was a submissive homosexual. He had a room on the campus and I used to bunk classes and meet him there. He gave the most amazing blowjobs I’ve ever experienced opened my eyes to the pleasure to be found in serving.

Well the years went by and the only girlfriend I had was during college when a girl in the neighborhood made a move on me.  She had a great rack and an ass that I absolutely admired and loved adoring with my lips. We never fucked though we had ample opportunities, we were, or I was,  more into oral sex. I used to love licking her ass and going down on her. It lasted till she moved to a different city with her mother.  Some time during college, after my brother had moved away to his college, I started making out with my younger sister who I was very close to. I suspect that my elder brother was screwing her  till he moved out of town. I used to come home from college and plunk down on her bed in the afternoons. We were staying in a two bedroom house and my sisters had one bedroom which I used during the afternoon while at night  I slept in the living room. When she got back from school she would lie down on the same bed next to me. One afternoon, I worked up the courage to raise her skirt while she was sleeping with her back towards me and started caressing her ass. Well, she woke up but she allowed me to continue feeling her up.  From then on she used to come to bed without her panties and pretty soon we progressed to fucking.  We used to talk about her boyfriends when she started dating and once after I dropped her off at her boyfriend’s apartment, she even invited me to join her and her boyfriend for a threesome. It caught me unawares and I balked and foolishly said no. She never brought it up again. It would have been so sweet to share her with a man. Maybe we could have both sucked on his cock and then I would have myself placed it at the entrance of her pussy  as a mark of my acceptance of his foremost rights to her. I even imagine lying below her as he fucks her doggy style while I lick her clit and his cock and balls, her moans filling my ears as I watch his slick rod piston in and out of her pussy.

After college, I joined the hotel industry and there followed a series of infatuations with my women colleagues. Nothing ever came out of my infatuations, but I adored them. I did  meet women in that enviable vocation, prostitution, and did sample their delights and a couple of them I still remember fondly. I did a stint in a Middle East country where I got hooked on Arabic women. They take pains to do up their eyes and  when they smile, you see the smile in their eyes and it’s beautiful. The veil and the chador/hijab, I don’t know what all the fuss is about muslim women wearing them. I think it’s one of the most erotic fashion accessories a woman can have! I’ve seen Muslim women meet their lovers, wearing the most revealing outfits under the chador and even if their own husbands passed them by on the street they would not be able to recognize them under the veil! Hat’s off to some of these women, for in the harsh conservative world they live in, where promiscuity is punishable by death by public stoning or flogging, they successfully run through boyfriends as quickly as they change panties.

Well, I returned home after about 2 years in the Middle East,  and after a while met an adorable young woman, a virgin with the looks of an angel.  She was from a strict caste based community and would eventually marry a man from the same caste. Well, I was there when she needed someone and that pleases me. We indulged in a lot of oral play, going down on her sweet pussy was heavenly but I never took her virginity though on a couple of occasions she did want me to. I felt that was a pleasure to be enjoyed more by a  real man. This was about the time that the internet was growing popular here and working in the hospitality industry I had access to the net and would surf for porn. Gay porn reignited yearnings in me for big juicy cock, but due to some irrational fear I could not broach this subject with her though I did on one occasion mention my fantasy of sharing her with another man but she didn’t take up on it but neither did she consider it unusual. I suppose if we had met a really suave  hunk, though she was not one to judge by looks, I could have approached the subject again. As it was, she eventually got married and is happily so, I believe, though we are rarely in touch. In the meantime, I took a transfer to another city, after a long fruitless period, found a young stud who couldn’t get enough of my ass and would come home regularly and fuck me.

Throughout my career, I’ve never been comfortable with the promotions bestowed on me. I am hardly ambitious but invariably as I’ve gone higher in the hierarchy, I’ve had people reporting to me, whereas I’m more comfortable taking orders. Well, eventually, I quit my job  after a few years, returned home and got interested in the opportunities the internet provided. Having a webcam fed my exhibitionist side but I soon found cybersex unfulfilling. I crave the actual physical phase more. The internet opened my eyes. Suddenly nothing is taboo. People are talking openly about their incestuous relationships, bisexuality and homosexuality. Men and women equally are craving black men and their fine big cocks. There are people like me,  whose  appreciation of women and things feminine, inspires them to strive to be like the women they adore. There are people like me, seeking to be maid-husbands, in the service of a dominant wife, loving and firm, quick to compliment and  equally quick to punish, aware of her needs and ready to look outside of her marriage to fulfill them.  There are people who were getting fucked by their dogs, something I’ve always felt would make me feel like a real bitch. There are pussy and big cocks all around that want to gush cum and I want to be serving them.  The most satisfying deed I ever did was to suck off  a line of five male strangers in a park at night once, and boy, did I feel happy leaving the park knowing that I’d added a little joy to the lives of five men.

So, what am I seeking? Marriage to a very sexually active beautiful Amazon, you. A Mistress with the financial means to support her lifestyle, who takes takes pains to keep in shape,  who takes pride in her body and loves to flaunt it. A strong willed Mistress who knows what she wants and boldly takes steps to achieve it in her career A  Mistress, who takes pleasure in dominating a sissy husband  but who seeks strong dominant men to bring out the brazen slut in her. A Mistress who is commited to incestual relationships with the men of her family, father, brother, uncles, cousins, etc. like a proud daughter of Adam. A Mistress who can differentiate between her sexual and emotional needs and can love and treasure a perfectly submissive “man”, me, as a life partner.  A “man” who:

·         is  grateful for being selected to be her husband-bitch and will never forget the honor he has been given.

·         believes in her superiority,  in every way and acknowledges that her word is law.

·         understands that he could never be her equal, and does not even seek that standing.   

·          looks up to her and adores the very ground she walks on.

·          understands that her needs are more worthy of being satisfied  than his and with an undying, unconditional,  love and loyalty, seeks with all his heart, her happiness.

·         understands his role is not as a breadwinner but  as a homemaker and finds true pleasure in performing his maid-bitch duties to her satisfaction.  

·         Is hardworking and honest

·         understands that as his good work rewarded, so too shall laziness and sloppy work be punishable.

·         accepts that he is too inadequately endowed to satisfy her sexually.

·         respects her sexual needs and gladly accepts the men in her life for making up for his shortcomings

·         can be her closest friend, to support her aspirations, be a sounding board for her ideas and offer constructive advice plans, to share gossip and  trends, to dress up and go shopping with or clubbing and be her willing accomplice in her plans to seduce her lovers, everything she’ll expect of her closest girlfriend.

·         appreciates the need for a chastity sheath for his own good. For, sissy sluts do think with their overgrown clits and  a sissy slut in a constant state of horniness, is more eager to excel at tasks and is more manageable when his sexual release is at the whim of  his Mistress.

Oh, yes! I want to be introduced to her friends as her sissy maid-husband. I make no claim to any  macho nonsense, that’s better left to the real men.  Humility is a essential trait in a slave and  to hear the men and ladies laugh when she tells them how inadequate I am as a lover,  and that I’m only good for servicing her  with my tongue, for her to fuck with her strap-on,  and as her maid, as I move around in my frilly maid’s uniform serving them their drinks and snacks or when she orders me to lift up the hem of my short skirt and display my puny clit in it’s chastity sheath tucked tightly between my thighs, to hear them congratulate her on her dominance over me, these would serve to reinforce her position of authority.  It’ll also serve to put the men she chooses to keep her company at ease and boost their self confidence.  I do look forward to us dressing up in high heels and stockings, elegant and sexy outfits and going out for a night on the town.  I do hope she likes hung black men, they’re so suave and yet so dominant and sure of themselves.  It’ll be fun, the two of us  girls, walking into a club, hips rolling seductively, she choosing the partner for me, and me, letting him run his big hands over my body and fondling my ass under my skirt, as we tease our partners on the dance floor. Maybe money would change hands (It’s only right that I should earn my keep in some way) before she hands me a condom and tells my partner to take me out to his car.. As a teen, I never got to experience a make out session in the back seat of a car, I’d definitely make up for lost time. The idea of spreading my legs in the back of a car for a man is such a turn-on.

On our hen night, I want to wait on you, Mistress, and your girlfriends, as you let all inhibitions loose and indulge in sexual debauchery with the male strippers we hire. The next morning, before our wedding, you indulge in an orgy with your male relatives. Knowing that a cocktail of cum is trickling down your thighs, under your wedding gown as we exchange our vows and wedding rings, would highlight to all of us that what binds us together is purely our love for each other. If the invitees to our wedding, are limited to a group of your closest friends, who are aware of our special relationship, then I too will wear a wedding gown, (they're much more beautiful than suits, in any case). After we exchange rings, it's the best men, two hunks who are your lovers, who kiss you, my bride, as I respectfully stand aside. You then motion me to come forward and bend me forward at my waist. You then lift my wedding gown and splay my stockinged legs, exposing my naked buttocks and my clit dangling in it's chastity sheath. You proceed to attach a leash to the ring pierced through the top of my clit. Motioning to the men to hold me firm, you reach towards the brazier of hot coals and withdraw the branding iron you had fashioned for this occasion. Placing the burning hot iron above my tense round buttock, you firmly push it into my flesh, unmindful of my high pitched screams, for this is my gift to you, for the honor you have bestowed on me today, that of being owned by you for all our lives. After the guests have congratulated you and it's time to leave, the two best men lead you to the linousine, hand in hand, as I follow respectfully behind on the leash trailing from your fingers under my wedding gown, tugging sweetly on my clit. After I slid into the limousine after the best men and we wave goodbye to our well wishers, there is no doubt in anyone's mind who the men who will be pleasuring my bride in our conjugal bed that night will be!

I’d love it if you would submit to a big black bull and cuckold me, on a long term basis. Oh, the pleasure of smelling  him on you when you walk into the room and the strong taste of his cum that  seems to be permanent  whenever I’m licking your pussy, of seeing his love bites on you as I sponge  your body in the bath,  gasping  as you tell me how he made love to you, of the dirty little acts you did for him, the pleasure of helping  you dress up in sexy outfits that hint at the pleasures that are his to lay his big hands on, to touch up your lipstick, knowing that soon they’ll be locked around his throbbing manhood, to know that you can’t wait to get home and have him fill your every hole with his big cock, to wait on you both , to smile my encouragement to you when our eyes meet while you both have wild sex right before my eyes!  And to feel his seed growing in your womb, to take pride in you bearing  his beautiful brown baby, a child we can treasure, love and raise as our own.