Are "secret masturbators" just exhibitionists or is it a form of rape? I'm talking about the sort that just stare you down while they are obviously wanking over you. Not the sort that are actively hiding it.

As far as I know I have never been masturbated over in 'secret'. I have seen things though. They were from obvious exhibitionists.

When I was in high school, after an event, a man in a skirt walked past a mixed-sex group of us and pulled up his skirt and flopped his cock around at us. I know that at least three of us saw. We laughed but were indignant at the same time.

On the public transit I saw a developmentally delayed man stroking off. He was sitting alone and the bus was packed and nobody said anything, though it was obvious we all noticed. Nobody even laughed. It was as though it wasn't even happening.

Twice on the bus in the same town a large man in polyester pants had a hole cut out of his pants and his cock was hanging out of it. Twice, I said nothing, although it made me feel ill. Consequently, he did this to a girl I knew and she reported it and he was arrested for indecent exposure.

Once, in a very obscure restaurant at a lodge that I waited at near Yellowstone Park, a man was sitting at a table alone. He was wearing red Nike shorts with the underwear inside of him. His wife had gone to use the bathrooms. I walked past him to another table to get some plates and was walking back, stopped, turned and asked him if he wanted more coffee. He was sitting there, legs spread with his cock hanging out of his shorts. I was horrified and yet later incredibly turned on by it. 

Why have I felt violated sometimes and not other times? It's interesting to note that all of these instances happened when I was 18-19 years old. I was still a virgin and I would lose my virginity later that month to a wrangler from Oregon at that lodge. 

I have in fact been a secret masturbator, but I was purposely hiding it. I wasn't trying to get caught. I had the hornies and I needed relief. I would like to think these are not the same things.