Sometimes I crave anal gratification.  My ass glows and I feel, well, like a bitch who needs to be fucked, wanting to have my ass opened up and plundered.  If my wife is away from home, the coast is clear for a wild time alone.  I start by pulling back the covers, and maybe setting out some porno magazines or erotic stories to read in bed. I may set the mood with music on the stereo, candles, red wine, and marijuana—it is especially fun to make love to myself when I am a little drunk and stoned.  Then I get out the toys, which I keep in a cloth zipper bag hanging in the closet, occasionally leaving one or two in a dresser drawer for quicker access.  A washcloth is handy for the inevitable aftermath, and a bath towel to place on the bed to catch any fluids.  I also set out a tube of lubricant jelly. 

Once the bedroom is ready, I strip and head to the bathroom, where I give myself several enemas.  If I anticipate a gentle, brief session I use an enema bulb that I hide in the bathroom closet.  I squeeze the air out of the bulb and place the syringe in a glass of warm water, which the bulb sucks up.  On other occasions I make do with a disposable enema, one of those little plastic bottles sold by drugstores.  Usually two or three times injecting and evacuating is enough to clean out my rectum.   I do not want the water to go too deep.  It is only necessary to empty out the end of the intestinal tract. 

When in need of a real work out, I sequester myself in the bathroom with a hot water bottle and tubing.  I fill the bottle (the classic red rubber bag) to the stretching point with warm water and hang it on the shower curtain rod.  Then I lubricate my anus and slide the syringe inside, bending over and spreading my legs to take the water more easily.  The first time, I inject just enough water to wash out the rectum.  After evacuating, I take a second injection.  The third time I take more, to the point of cramping.  I sometimes repeat the process several times, increasing the volume with every repetition.  Once I release the final stream my rectum and sphincter are very relaxed.  It feels like a mouth opening back there, soft and yielding. Afterward, taking a shower with the hot water directed at my lower back and bottom, I insert a butt plug, which keep in until I leave the shower.  After toweling off, I go to the bedroom and start to play.

My collection of sex toys includes: 1) A medium sized flesh colored butt plug, the first sex toy I ever bought.2) A blue vibrator with a slim extension for penetration (it does not work well because only the base vibrates).3) A stiff plastic vibrator that I do not use; it is too pointy, too loud, and has only one speed.  It came free with a vibrator bought years ago for R.4) A double-ended silicone dildo, with a semi-realistic cock at each end.  One is long and slim (7 inches long and 3/4 inch in diameter) the other short and fat (about 5" long, an inch diameter.  This dildo, which is red in color, has seen a lot of use.5) An expanding butt plug, like a small pink balloon at the end of a flexible shaft, connected to a bulb that you pump to fill the balloon with air.  It has a release valve to let the air out.  6) A G-spot vibrator, about 3/4 inch in diameter and 7 inches long.  It is made of hard, white plastic, with speed control on the base, and a lovely curve at the tip.  It replaced another similar vibrator, shimmering purple in color, which had stopped functioning.
7) A prostate massager, the Tantus Glide.  It is purple, with a curved part that rubs against the prostate, and a metal ball on the outside that rubs against the perineum.

I use the butt plug most frequently, sometimes in the shower to relieve stress, without reaching orgasm.  Buttfucking sessions almost always begin with the small plug, the smallest and most comfortable item in my collection.  The G-spot vibrator is the best for prostate stimulation.  It is hard but goes in comfortably and the curved tip strokes the prostate if I hold it right.  I get on all fours and set the vibrations on high and stroke my prostate until it feels like the semen is about to flow.  I would like to “milk” myself, extracting the semen without an orgasm, but the urge to play with my cock is too strong, and I can get a really strong orgasm that way.  I talk to myself, or to an imaginary woman whom I am begging to “fuck my horny ass” or to “fuck me like the bitch I am.” 

About an inch in diameter is the comfortable maximum for me; 3/4" is perfect.  If the point in getting the toy is to open my ass up and stretch and relax me to the point that my anus gapes, it ought to be smaller to begin with.  The double ended dildo is particularly good in that respect.  The narrow end of that one enters easily enough, and the shaft is just big enough to make me feel full and well-fucked.  Only a few times have I felt inclined to insert the thick end, which requires a lot of preparation with fingers and smaller objects.  Then I push and pull very gently, not being able to take much movement with such a wide shaft.

I have made digital videos of myself using anal toys, always with my ass to the camera, showing the plug or dildo as it enters.  Watching these videos has served as foreplay for another session of buttfucking. The following is a verbatim transcription of one session’s audio portion: “I’m a straight guy, but I like being fucked up the ass.  And if my girl’s not here, I have to do it myself.  Ah yeah, with a finger . . . then a buttplug.  Oh yeah, I like that.  Or a dildo!  Oh yeah!  Look at that.!  Look at that!  Ah fuck!  Look at that! Right up the fucking ass!  Look at my asshole gape!  Fuck!  Uhhh!”  I slap my right buttock and then the video stops.