Recently I submitted an experience, the response to which was so favorable that it made think that submitting further posting would help me better understand who I am.  In thinking about the idea further, I came to understand that a single or multi-postings would not directly help me purge / cleanse my soul.  Hence the idea of a blog, which in my case will be, at least in the early stages, a time-line review.This blog is sexual in nature and will not appeal to everyone. To set the scene and allow the blog to viewed in context:

I go by the name Lonely Laird as it describes my status – Lonely – despite a great job and the opportunity to travel.  And Laird because of my affinity to Scotland.  As I start this blog, I am a few weeks past my 61st birthday.  I am married – second time – and as my recent posting relates, in a sexless, emotionless marriage devoid of feelings.I was born in the UK, have no real religious feelings / leanings although as you will read I am nominally Jewish and much of my life as been spent in Israel. 

My feelings regarding religion flow between Karl Marks and his remark that “religion is the opium of the people”, to Julius (Groucho) Marks who said “that he would never join a club that would have him as a member”.So here we go.The purpose of this blog is to help me explain to myself (and other if they are so interested) my sexual orientation. Let me state here and now so that there will be doubt in the reader’s mind that I am not gay and have no leanings towards a gay sexual encounter.  It is true that I was many years ago over a period of nearly one-year regularly propositioned by a number of gay men when working at Selfridges.  Although the attraction was flattering and my imagination ran wild with the idea of gay sex, in reality the idea sickened me.  I should however state that I have read many articles and stories about gay men and the loving caring relationship that they enjoy.  This includes vivid description of anal sex and the pleasure it gives to both participants.  To balance the view I have also read widely about lesbian affairs, which if truth be told I find much more exciting.So having confirmed that I am a healthy normal, whatever that is heterosexual male, the question begs to be asked why am I the way I am.  Let me explain.While the idea of me having a gay sexual relationship revolts me, I do nevertheless enjoy anal sex with my heterosexual partners – although it must be 20+ years since my last experience.  Maybe the act itself is appealing because of the religious and other taboos that surround anal sex.  Maybe it is the mixture of pleasure and pain the act gives. 

The idea of another man sticking his penis up my arse fills me with disgust and yet I was all those years ago very happy to bend over and have my heterosexual partner fuck my arse with her strap-on or vibrator while sucking my penis.  Would I like to suck a nice clean male penis and shallow his cum?  The answer is probably yes if only to understand the emotion involved.  However, I have to say that in the past it gave me great pleasure to have my tongue inside my partner’s wet, syrupy vagina particularly when laying on my back and her honey-sweet pussy is over my mouth.  The only place I can put my tongue is straight up her.  This in turn leads to a wonderful “69” position with both lovers orally taking care of their partners needs.So why did I get great enjoyment in having anal sex with my heterosexual partner?  

 The pleasure is beyond description.  The action of actually slipping my penis into her arse is just the final act in foreplay required to complete this coupling.Let me briefly describe how I went about anal foreplay which is in fact not that much different to regular intercourse foreplay.  Cleanliness is of prime importance.  In other words, my partners arse hole must be sparkling clean inside and out just as must her love cavity.  Having both showered and ensured that all is ready, its time to starting kissing.  First on the lips and moving down to the breasts and then to her vagina.  Once this is well lubricated and my partner is fully relaxed, it is time to turn her over and give my attention to her beautiful arse. 

Initially the checks are kissed and caressed.  Then cream is slowly applied to each check.  As I message each check, I slowly bring my creamed fingers into contact with her arse hole.  The next stage is to bring my partner up to her knees from her prone position.  This means that her arse is literally sticking up in the air.  The position also allows me to cream both her vagina and arse at the same time.  The left-hand pleasures her vagina while the right ever so slowly open up her arse.  This is definitely not a case of “wham bang”.  The act demands time, skill, and plenty of sweet smelling body lotion.Slowly as I apply lubricate to my partners back passage I slowly slide in one finger followed by further massaging until a second finger is introduced and then a third and maybe even a fourth.  It now time for the grand finish.  I need to extract my fingers and insert my penis within seconds otherwise my partners expanded arse hole will start to contract. 

 I keep my partner in her arse-in-the-air position while I fuck her arse.  This allows me to continue to finger-fuck her vagina with my left-hand while ramming my penis in and out of her arse.  If I have down my job properly, both my partner and I should climax together. And yes, both back then and today, I believe 100% is safe sex - .i.e. a good quality condom.So am I a sex mad fiend.  Do I have the normal amount of XY chromosome or is there an imbalance in favor of XYY or XXY chromosome?  Normal people have XY chromosome.  The XYY stance appears to mean that you have too much male chromosome while a XXY stance is too feminine.  Which of the three I have is questionable although I sometimes feel I veer towards the XXY stance.  I will explain why.

End of part one