I'm a 'pervert wanker' - that means the only sex I have is with myself. I'm totally in awe of girls and women, even though in order to earn money to fund my habits - buying lots of baregirl mags - I had to be able to put on a 'normal' face. So when I first met the girl I worshipped, 6 years after finding Her online, I didn't recognise the feelings I had. It wasn't until I was walking away from that meeting that I realized - I was 'in love'. 

 Now before you get the wrong idea, let me explain - this 'love', or adoration or worship, is 'perv love'. It's nothing at all like what I imagine 'romantic love' to be. It is entirely 'look, don't touch', the way I've always been. Seeing a girl deliberately show off was usually enough to make me cum in my pants. And this girl had been making me do that from that very first picture I'd seen.

 From the earliest days at school, to watching girls out of my window, seeing girls in pubs dancing go-go, seeing them skimpily-dressed going clubbing, seeing them posing in magazines, always made me cum in my pants. Those poses in magazines were not nude, just girls showing their knick-knix or wearing low-cut tops was always enough.

In the early days I never thought girls liked to show, or even be looked at - certainly not by a 'horrible perv' like me. It wasn't until I found Her, in the early days of the Internet, that I realized that there were girls who liked to be seen, even by 'pervs' and 'wankers' like me. The first thing She said to me in Her email was that She enjoyed posing, being looked at. 

That was 26 years ago. A lot has happened in that time, but one thing never changed - how I feel about Her. Although She stopped Her website around 10 years ago, I still have around 300 of Her picture sets I've yet to look at. When I'm looking at Her 'new' picture sets that I haven't seen before, after reviewing lots of Her other photos, I can only last sometimes just one photo. So it will take me years to get through 300 sets of around 70 pics per set. 

Every day I search online for anything about Her, whether photos or stories. I still wank on photos of girls I see online, and save many of them too, but She is the only one I'm looking at now when I cum in my pants. It's been that way now for many, many years. 

I've seen Her and seen Her pose 4 times. The first time was at a show and was for only 20 minutes or so, but the next three times were proper 'Worship Sessions', as I called them.  The last one, 10 years ago, was the all-time classic Worship Session. She was having fun, looking at my 'worship videos' and 'worship sheets' on my laptop while I watched, in a daze as always. She was talking, reading out the pervy captions I'd put on the videos and pictures, and laughing all the time, seeing the cartoon of 'me' in the videos and worship sheets watching Her posing and spunking in 'his' (my) pants.

After about 20 minutes She was reading a worship sheet where I'd put in a caption as to what was happening to 'me' and She read it out - "spunk spunk spunk, Graham spunking in his pants', then turned to me grinning. She could see I was in ecstasy, pumping spunk into my pants. She hadn't even posed yet!

Over the time I was worshipping Her,  I sent Her literally 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of worship sheets online, as well as worship videos. Every week I sent Her explicit emails, telling Her which of Her photos had made me spunk my pants along with the worship sheets made up using those photos. I'd also send Her 'mag covers' with Her pics and titles like 'Spunk Queen' - an expression She said She liked - as well as 'Explicit Messages', stories, poems - anything I could think of to show Her how I totally worshipped Her. 

She understood what that worship meant too - maybe I wasn't Her only worshipper - and although towards the end I was sending Her at least 4 or 5 emails for every one of Her replies, that last Worship Session gave an indication of where things might have got to.She was even talking about what She would wear next time, without needing to ask me if I wanted a next time - obviously I wanted a next time more than anything else in the world. 

Unfortunately that was the last time I saw Her, and although I managed to maintain correspondence with Her for another few years, I don't hear from Her any more. She will always be my All-Time No.1 Girlie-Goddess and Spunk Queen.