There is nothing more scary  and lonely than being on the streets at night the worst was winter time thats why i tried hard to get regulars so i wouldent have to walk the streets but there where times when i had to ''there was nothing more disscracefull than be bent over in a cold ally with some guy looking to just get off and just feel some girls pussy the cold air would make me shiver as he ramed his hard cock into me from behinde then when he was finished he would walk away leaving me there to pull my panties up not even a thank you or goodby''I have wonderd about my own sexuality and if i will ever enjoy being with a man will i ever fall in love and if i did will i enjoy sex with him or will it just feel like work .

Most nights i felt so empty inside the crazy lonly feelings where so strong even when i had some old man in my bed fucking me like i was the last girl on earth i always felt lonely inside ''some nights it was hard to play the game by that i mean pretending to like someone or tell someone that makes you feel dirty that you are enjoying there cock or they have the biggest cock you ever looked at even though you cant see there cock because there fat gut hanges down below ther crotch ;or tell some old guy that hes sexy even though his man boobs where bigger than mine .

every man was different so i had to be the person they wanted to be with every guy wants to be the best and they wanted the young girl to like them and if only for a few hours they believed i did i told every regular he was my favorit ''When i started out i did look for someone in my life to take the father figure i lost and there where a few times when i thought i found him but i was misguided  by some old mans fantacys and found out his kindness came with a price .

There where couples that enjoyed having sex with a third persone ''i remember my first couple it was strange and wierd i met then through my room mate summer they where the sweetest old couple i ever met  both where in there mid 60s and had been together for over 40 years and they wanted to exparement with there sexuality ''it was her husbands birthday and she wanted to give him something special so she bought me for him ''i sucked his cock and he fucked me as his wife looked on cheering him on to realy let me have it hard .and with a viagra in him he fucked me for over a hour non stop ..

As the monthes went by it became harder to pretend and some nights when i was on my 3rd date and had be sucking and fucking for over 9 hours the hollow feeling inside me began to take over and the thoughts of wanting to die where getting stronger i was so tierd and worn out mentaly and phisicly ''then i met roger and he introduced me to meth and ecstasy and i truly though that was my savior it let me forget everything that i hated about my life .Roger was this 58 year old married man that was introduced to me by another regular and one night he showed me the wonders of ecstasy and i was hooked right away one little pill and it all changed i was abel to fuck all night without any remorse or guilt i didnt care what he looked like i would suck his cock like he was my lover ..

Some nights where non stop i would fuck for days at a time only stopping to have a quick shower and something to eat .