The story of my descent into the slave mindset has taken many years, really decades to unfold. It started coherently when it was in its twenties, though only little snippets as it set off to live the life of a straight male, with girlfriends and  a wife by my mid twenties. Much of my time at home had nothing to do with it, but when away at work for months at a time I started to develop a fetish for dominance and submission. This was from books and magazines, and movies like the Story of O. I started out looking at mostly submissive woman and imagining myself with one, but over time it realized it was more attracted to powerful women who held there males at bay. It did get to experience being naked at a BDSM club when it was in its late 20’s, and that experience of being whipped naked in front of an audience of clothed men and women has left a mark on it till this day.

It had fantasies about all kinds of submission including submitting to Men during the 1980’s, and was frequently accused by wife at the time of being a cocksucker, though  it never actually had any sex with a Man. It was even a question she asked during a lie detector test she required when she found out it had cheated on her. It had passed the test as to whether it had ever had oral or anal sex with a Man, but the no answer to “did it ever think about sex with a Man”  was not conclusive by the operator of the test, but he indicated it may not be truthful based on the reading.

By 1990 that woman had divorced it, and moved on with a real Man, and ended up getting pregnant within the year, something it was unable to do.

It did have a female friend that it was dominant with for about a year in the early 1990’s, but that slowly deteriorated as she was married and didn’t want to be submissive any more. For a while it changed  and dominated it for a bit, but that too eventually fell apart after she moved away

It slowly transitioned to Men in its fantasies and occasional play by the time It was in its mid thirties as it realized it couldn’t attract women to dominate it, and couldn’t afford to pay professional dominatrixes very often. 

By 1992 It had become a cocksucker and the descent into a faggot mind set started to take hold. It met a Man through a dominant/Submissive magazine and connected while on a work trip to Alabama, who agreed to let it suck His cock. He said he had a big cock, and I waited naked in the hotel room as he requested until he showed up. He brought a friend with him to watch, which scared me a bit but also really excited it to know it would have a witness to its first time sucking a Mans cock. That was the first time it realized it got turned on by the humiliation of being watched.

He demanded that It get into the shower with him and clean him first before it would be allowed to worship his cock. That was the first time it had ever been intimate with a Man, and though it was strange, it seemed right to be in the shower, on its knees, cleaning this large Man. After the shower he led me out to the bed, and set me on my knees again after sitting on the edge of the bed, naked, in view of his friend and it.

At first it asked to use a condom, which caused him to laugh. After seeing his cock in person though, it understood why. It was still the biggest cock it has seen in person till today. I broke two condoms trying to get them on once he got hard from me licking his cock and balls. I couldn’t really even give him much of a blow job because he was so big, and it was not only inexperienced, but it also has a very small mouth.  

It was able to use a combination of its mouth and hands to get the Man off though, and He came all across my chest and a few drops landed on my face. Once he came he stood up to get dressed, and told me to stay where I was with my hands by my side. I remained naked and on my knees with his cum running down my body until they were both at the door ready to go. His friend said turn around faggot, and when I did a flash went off, and then they both walked out the door.

It was of course mortified that the friend took a photo of it like that, but eventually calmed down knowing it was so far from home. After that it continued to find a few people to serve through those kinds of magazines, one in Seattle, an old Vet who liked it to come to his apartment, strip naked, crawl on its hands and knees and suck his cock. Luckily it wasn’t near the size of the first Man but it was still significantly larger than its. He would sometimes have it clean the kitchen and bathroom before allowing it to get dressed and leave. It always felt an emptiness when leaving though it knew it couldn’t stay, as it wasn’t wanted for more than that, and it needed to get home to its new wife.

It met another Man in Tacoma who allowed it to service him for about 6 months. During that time it had a job in Seattle with very flexible hours so would stop by Tacoma on the way home when its service was required. . This Man required it to park, then walk around to the back of the house, strip naked, and wait kneeling by back door until it was let in to the kitchen. Once inside the Man would put an old dog collar on it, then lead it by a leash, on its hands and knees to the living room. The Man would get comfortable in his big easy chair, and it would be led in between his legs and made to suck his 7” cock for the better part of an hour. My jaw would ache by the half way point but a knock to the side of the head would keep it engaged and sucking. This Man would usually come in its mouth, but then sometimes would choose its face. 

When the Man was done it was required to clean his house, while remaining naked, collared and leashed. When it was done cleaning the Man would inspect the work, and either lead me to the kitchen table for a belting or lead me to the kitchen door, remove the leash and collar, and set me outside to get dressed and leave. This lasted about 6 months and then it could no longer make contact with the Man.

From that time, around 1998 to about 2006 it was busy with wife and adopted kids so didn’t really pursue any thing except for online porn, which got its mind more and more into submission, chastity and  sissification.

In 2008 it started conversing with a Man online from the site “I love Chastity” named Polar Bear who became its keyholder while away at work, and required it to send him photos of it wearing a chastity cage and to show the sealed keys on demand. It would wear the chastity cage for about a week at a time, sometimes two weeks, but would always have to take it off before going home. This was also in the early days of chastity cages and they were very uncomfortable for long term wear. Polar bear required it to wear panties shortly after starting its key holding, and even had it get a sissy maid costume. He would require compliance photos, with it holding a sign saying “Property of Polar Bear”  At this point it was too scared to show its face in the photos, so would hold the sign over its face.

After a while of doing this it started to feel shame and decided to stop, and try to ignore all the distractions in my head. This lasted a while, as it had before, but eventually the need would build up again. It should also mention that during this time, from then through 2010 it’s sex with its wife was decreasing to once every few weeks, then months and then as it came to realize years later, ended on July 30, 2010.