I (40) don’t know if I’m in the right place here, and to be honest, I’m not even sure what—or if—I’m looking for at all.

I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend where not much is happening when it comes to sex (it’s rare).

But that’s also because I’m not very interested and it feels more like a “chore.” But when I do get really turned on, even while we’re doing it, all I can really think about is how I’d take care of a nice cock. Mostly oral, but every now and then also how I’d get fucked doggy style.

The last time I was able to act on that in any way was easily 15 years ago. Since then, there’s never been an opportunity or a relationship like that. On top of that, I’ve had a pretty unfulfilled cum fetish for ages.

When I’m really horny and lost in my fantasy world, I always think about kneeling in front of a nice cock, sucking it, and working it with my hand—and it always ends with me imagining all that cum being shot onto my face, into my mouth, or just all over my body.

I’d love to act out my fetish again, but I don’t want to tell my girlfriend about it or come out in any way, and I don’t want to cheat on her either. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest, but maybe someone else has a similar dilemma and knows how to handle it.