Nature: the biological consequence that determines such things are eye colour, body type, and basic physical traits.

Nurture: How family, friends, peer pressure and society shape a personality, views and norms of behaviour.

 So why am I writing this?  How do I explain how and what I am.

 Nature has determined that I am shorter than average, over weight all of my life, plain looking and larger than average breasts.

 Our modern society imposes norms of behaviour, of being with a single partner, getting married, having children, of being a good person.

I never knew my father, and neither did my mother.  My mother had a new male friend most days.  Our home was a constant revolving door of men.  My mother was protective of me when it came to her male friends.  I knew what was happening each night, hearing my mother and her new friend.  Some morning I would see a heap of clothing, sometimes torn, see my mother, her normally neat hair messed up, sometimes crusted with a man's seed.  The occasional bruise. 

As I grew older I would ask my mother about these things.  She would smile and say such things as "Men have their own desires, needs that need fulfilling.  It is the nature of life as a woman and to be expected."

Most of my time at school I was ignored by the boys and creeps that hang around outside of school.  From time to time, one or two of the other girls would bully me.  Mostly the typical high school mean girls behaviour.  There was the name calling, pointing out my extra weight, how unattractive I was.

I was about 15 when the bully of that year made me carry her books to school, do her homework (not that it got her good grades in anyway).  She would buy a half dozen doughnuts and see how fast I could eat them, then it became a dozen, all for the amusement of her and her friends. 

One day she  told me that it was her boyfriends birthday and I should give him a present.  Her idea of a present was to let him fondle my breasts, soon it became to allowing him to push his hand up my skirt.  It was easier for me to let this happen than suffer the ridicule.  Before long I was down on my knees giving him a blow job, all while my bully watched and laughed.  Often she pulled my head back so her boyfriend spurted his cum over my face.

By the time I was 16, the boys were taking an interest in me, thanks to my bully spreading the stories about me.  I was regularly being fucked in the corner of the school yard.  One of the boys would ask me "are you fat?"  and I quietly nodded and he said "Go on, say it" , so I did, I would say I was fat, he kept me repeating it as he fucked me.  There was no small talk, no ‘hello, how are you' he and other would just come over and wanted to fuck me.  Never any holding hands, going on dates, seeing a movie, just a quick hard fuck in the school yard.

I talked to my mother about this, she just shrugged and said "What do you expect to happen? No man will want to marry a fat girl like you".

When I left school and started working, away from that crowd from school, life became little more normal.  I dated a few guys, but the romance, the tenderness never seemed to work for me.  I just sought out the rougher men, guys that just wanted to fuck with no commitment.  At 17 I had my first pregnancy, and miscarried.  I was 19 when I was raped at a party. 

Society says we should look for a loving caring relationship, I've never had that, never wanted that.  I have never understood what people are talking about of a caring sensual love making.  They talk about the woman being an equal partner during sex.

Just about every guy in my life has treated me the same, as something to be fucked.  I am not a partner in the process, I am just the receptacle, something for men to put their seed into, or onto.

It's been almost 50 years since I was first fucked.  In that time I have had my own revolving door of men.  My mother was right, no man has ever asked me to marry them.  I've had five children in that time, all fathers unknown.  I'd go to a party, flirt and dance and get drunk. Guys would fuck me and walk away.  I'd go to a bar, and guys would buy me a drink or two, they would end up fucking me.  While they fuck me, I have my mantra "I'm fat, I am ugly, I am a cunt" and they guys will laugh and fuck me harder.  They don't ask if I want to, if I like it, if I mind, they fuck me, they fuck me in whatever hole they want, face, ass or cunt.

 So is it Nature  or Nurture that has formed me, but I do know that I am happy to be an old fat ugly cunt and to be treated as one.