Trust me when I say, my behavior did not get better. For a while! Even when I sobered up and tried to get out, nobody would help me. I sat there a couple of weeks before I even saw a judge. Then got sent back to wait on my trial. My behavior wasn't the biggest issue. It was what I was trying to hide from them.

Inside my ass and cunt, they found 2 rolls of money equalling a little over $10,000, 100 grams of meth, a little over 2 ounces of weed, 100 tabs of molly, 60 Xanax and 6 grams of cocaine. When I said I was uncomfortably full, I was joking. How I thought I was going to get out of there with it... I'm stupid!

When I finally got to see my trial, I got lucky. God knows, my court appointed attorney was more interested in looking at me ass and tits, than defending me. The arresting officers stood up for me more than he did. Which is good, because I had like, 5 felonies I would have been in prison forever if they hadn't explained my condition and the guy I was with and after.

I was offered a deal, that if I agreed to testify against the guy that put me there, and plead guilty to a 2nd degree felony charge for possession with intent, and they would drop all the other charges. Luckily, I never had to testify and scared enough of him, I could have never gone through with it. But, I still got sentenced to 5 years in prison. I got out just barely under 3 years. Good behavior and over population! It was the worst 3 years of my life. I am not a fighter and lost every fight I've ever been in. As you can imagine, I didn't get a lot of respect. Prison is not a place for weak women.

When I got out, nobody would come get me. My own family was the first to say, no! I called everyone and finally just started walking. Several days later, countless loads of cum swallowed from multiple drivers to pay for my lift, and I finally made it home. My homecoming was not very welcome. I wasn't allowed in, Mom told me my things were under the carport and told me to leave, that my brothers were a big enough handful without my encouragement. I snuck around back to the trails and over to my uncle's farm. Who was more than willing to take me in, just to pick up where we left off. It was... Wild and a little twisted. Ok! Insanely twisted, but almost felt like home again. Until, I found something I wish I hadn't.

I was... How do I say this without y'all freaking out on me. I was chained in my bedroom. Not really a bedroom! Redneck white trash ghetto dungeon room. But, my boxes from the carport at my house were there and I had to go through them.

So, let me explain, I guess, before I go much further. My uncle was very twisted! I was way too curious about, "very twisted". And, gullible! So, we had this very twisted, insanely kinky and very wrong relationship. Because I hadn't gone through the like I was told, I was spanked with a belt, teased, put in a very uncomfortable homemade metal chastity belt with sharp little spikes in very unfortunate areas and chained by my neck in the room until I was done.

Yes, I know! I'm fucked up! He's fucked up! But, it happened and honestly, up until finding what I did, I enjoyed some of it. But, most importantly, I felt safe, stress free and like I found where I belong. So, get over it!

Any fucking way! I'm digging through my stuff and Mom packed up everything. Shit records, baby books and all my paper work. Including, adoption papers. I always knew, there was something different. How I was treated! I always got it worse than my brothers and sisters. I freaked out for a little bit, with good reasons. I really can't believe I'm getting into all this in my second blog post, but...

So, on the papers it was a woman named, well, I'm not gonna say, but it sounded familiar when I first read it. But, where the father should be, it says, unknown. But, the woman, my real mother, signed her rights over to Mom and Dad. Which makes some things better, and others so much worse. For some reason, I'm glad my dad isn't actually my dad. Bothers, sisters and Mom too! Makes some things easier to understand and deal with. But, it kind of complicates things with my uncle.

So, it kind of hits me where I think I had heard her name a couple of days later. I was looking at a photo on the wall during a time out. Nude, sore ass, plugged, nipples clamped, balancing a book on my head and facing the wall with my arms behind my back holding my elbows with my legs spread. Yes, I told you! We're a little fucked up. Even more so now!

On one of my uncles nicer nights, I asked him about the woman in the photo. He went off on this whole long drunken remorseful story. They were engaged! It took me a little while to do the math. But, he was stationed in Iraq for a couple of years. They were supposed to get married when he got back. Just over 7 months after he left, I was born. About a year after he left, and a few months after I was born, she had some type of issues being at their house alone, and decided to go stay with her parents until he came home. 

Her parents had moved to New York. She went, met some guy and never came back. Apparently, she is wealthy and extremely stuck up now. He ended it all cussing her and her new husband and life. So, somewhere out there, I have a yanky mother that is too good for where she came from..... And, as he put it.... A snobby arrogant fake ass cunt.

The issue is, who was my father?! The first guess would be, my uncle! Which as you can imagine, makes our past even more complicated. I can only hope she was sleeping around in him before he left, and my real father is just some town drunk. But, Mom and Dad kept it secret for this long and never said anything to anyone. I don't think my uncle knows anything about it. I was way too freaked out to ask.

I stuck around for another few months after I put everything together. But, I couldn't get it out of my head. The quilt and shame of knowing he could possibly be my real father drives me crazy. One day he was being a smart ass and told me to get over there or he was gonna whip my ass and make me call him daddy. It snapped something inside me. It took me a while to get up the courage knowing I had nowhere to go. But, one night I had a chance to escape before he could catch me. I left him a sorry note, and ran.

I ran straight back to my old ways a county over in a town worse than my hometown. Drugs, drinking and stripping. Ended up putting in a show for too many family members and got out quick. But, while I was there I met a guy at the bar that sold houses. He had offered me a chance to make a little extra money helping him. Basically, I set up and cleaned the houses. And, gave male buyers some eye candy to look at and flirt with while I show them the property. I really had nothing to do with selling the homes other than that. But, if he sold one I helped out with, I got a little money out of it. That's where I met my husband. He was looking to buy a house and next thing you know, we're trying them out before he ever bought one. And, by trying them out... I mean, fucking in just about every corner of every property I showed him. 

Things moved fast, and we moved in together as soon as he bought the house. I was grateful considering I was living out of the empty houses and my car. He loved my kinks! I loved his money! I became a trophy wife in public. And, a sex slave everywhere else. We got married almost as fast as we moved in together. Things started to go down hill pretty fast too.

He is out of town for work, more than he is home. Especially, after his promotion. I get lonely, and trying to be good, is harder than I thought. When I met him, I convinced myself I was going to change. But, obviously I can't and I'm not sure I want to. I'm not exactly happy here and want a life more... Kinky and primitive! Like full on hopeless captive sex object for the twisted kinks and depraved sexual desires of a large group of men. It's hard to find, but hopefully not impossible. If anything, I might have an idea if I can get through this... How do I explain my current situation?! I'm basically buying my way out of this relationship to get a couple of things I really want and need. I'm a sex slave trophy wife in a kinky business contract, basically. Rather I want to be, or not.

Yes, I have been busted cheating on him. I seriously tried to be loyal, but partying takes away the little self control I have. I ended up making some very bad decisions and doing some really stupid shit. That's what started making things kind of cold and more businesses like. Including sex and kink! It's now, loveless and honestly, in some ways better. I'm not the, "fall in love type girl". I think it's stupid and as I mentioned, I think I'm looking for something more sexually fuel and extremely kinky. But, I'm stuck here for now.

During those wild times when he was out of town, I kind of racked up a bit of a bill. Mostly in damages and credit cards. So, thanks to a prenup I had to sign, unless I want to leave her with absolutely nothing, I have to be good, try to stay out of trouble, and basically, be his little bitch until I've worked it off. And, it's a lot! Honestly, I shouldn't even be here! I just needed an out and release.

So, sorry guys! I have to behave and I'm not hooking up, swapping photos or posting any nudes until I am out, just in case I get caught here. My blogs will be bad enough, considering he doesn't know everything. But, when I'm out of here... Let's just put it this way! I have a special kink for the embarrassment and fear when being exposed and have been kicked off every site I've joined. From FB to OF for violating nudity and sexual conduct. Most of the, multiple times. So, yeah!

I'll even go so far as to make you a deal and swear to it. I have an old phone I use to get on here, and watch porn when I can hook it up to WiFi. That way he can't see me looking at things I shouldn't and getting on here. Any dirty photos and videos in it, and any I add to it, I swear to God, I'll post them in celebration the day I'm finally free. For my quality Shane and pleasure, and yours.

Besides the over $20,000 in credit card charges, I wrecked two cars. One twice! Technically, I wrecked 3 cars if you count me running into the neighbors. Got their mailbox and yard once too. Trashed a motel he had to pay for! The neighbors back yard and our property too. A couple of times! Bars, clubs and I even trashed a golf course and golf cart naked and drunk off my ass. That one cost him a lot to keep me out of jail. I was barely off probation when that happened. The list goes on, but you get the idea.

Last I heard, I owed him just over $75,000. Yeah?! Some of those are court fees from DWI's and stupid shit. Some months it goes faster than others. But, that's down from $97,000 in like, maybe 6 to 8 months. It all depends! One month I only had like $25 dollars to put towards it now that I am paying my own fees and bills too. But, one month I did some special work and got paid really good for it, and I paid close to $15,000. I was sore for weeks, but it was kind of fun and worth it.

Most days he keeps me extremely busy. As I'm sure you've noticed, it's hard for me to find time to even get on here. So, there will be no sexting, number exchange or any other sites or forms of contact until I've bought my freedom. With good reasons!

So, if I get him paid back without being stupid and running it back up again, I get something that I really need and kind of want. Scared of, but want! A while back when everything started completely go to shit, but I think he was still trying to love me, we had a fight and almost split. It scared me and I begged him not to just put me back in the street. That's when he made me the deal we have today. I serve and work for him, stay out of trouble and pay him off, and he'll give me a pice of property, I didn't even know he had at the time.

When he made me the deal, and told me about the property, I felt like total shit! It was so sweet and all I ever did for him, was cause problems and cost him money. While he doesn't know the details of the farm, my hometown, and the things that went on there, I've talked about how I loved it and missed it. Just, fudged a lot of the reasons why, and glorified the country farm setting most people enjoy about it. The fool bought a farm in the outskirts of my hometown.

As much as I may miss it, I'm not sure going home is an option, considering. But, he doesn't know any of that and meant well. When we made the deal for me to work off my debt before we divorce, he'll give me the property. It's enough to keep me up for life. It's way nicer than my uncle's crappy farm. Clean and huge! I used to fool around with a couple of guys that lived there, and worked there. It's like a mini ranch and not an alcoholics junkyard ghetto farm.

He got it at auction for cheap after it closed. It needs some work after a bad storm tore some things up. Nothing too major and the house is fine. The property is huge. He went big, because he wanted to fix it up, and surprise me when we moved in. That would have gone so bad! You don't understand my past with that town. It's worse than anything you could ever imagine. There's so much I don't want him finding out about. Watching him reading the background check he did on me was bad enough.

Any fucking way! It's like 283. something acres! It's separated by a river and a lot of it, you have to drive around to get to, or walk over an old wooden bridge. It's kind of pretty considering it mostly thorn trees cover trees and vines. But, if I remember correctly, a couple of guys from the farm would take me back to that side to play after the guy that owned it sold most of his cattle and started renting out the fields back there for grazing and growing hay and shit. So, we didn't have to worry about anyone else being back there at night and could play kinky games freely.

So, I think I will continue to do that, to help cover the bills. I really just want the main property with the house, barns, garden, pond and kennels. That's maybe half of it, maybe a little less, but plenty and thanks to overgrown mesquite trees, thorns and whatever the other trees are, it's so private and quiet, but you can imagine how nervous I was just driving there for a weekend to look at it. I stayed the hell at the ranch and away from town.

If, I can get my nerve to go home and face some ghosts from my past, it would really set me up for life. And, I've already had some naughty ideas for extra money and kinky fun. Like, live streaming shower and bathroom cameras. Nude farm girl videos! Maybe give men permission and access to come in and take me by force for certain days and stream it live. Fetish and kink stuff. Or, work on my dream and move a bunch of me in her to use, abuse, rape and force me to be an all around farm slave bitch captive fuck toy.

Maybe that's a bit of a dream, everybody has lives unless I got shooing at a homeless shelter. But, I could definitely do something naughty, fun and profitable with it. I mean, everyone loves fetish stuff and who out there wouldn't want to see me bound and milked? Anyone? Hopefully? Somebody?

There are definitely other possibilities! Just name it? It's private enough, and big enough, anything is possible. And the great thing is, the place is still a shit hole town, and it looks like even less people than before. I know my husband was surprised at how cheap the taxes were. But, literally, nobody in their right mind, wants to live there. No work! Extremely poor, except for the ranchers and farmers. And, even they weren't insanely rich. Most were as poor as we were. Shit, you want a Walmart, prepare to spend most of the day driving. 

Anything huge like that, 2 to 3 hours away. I could start a twisted bdsm sex cult disco rave party every night with a Texas size bonfire loaded with fireworks and never disturb anybody. The fee cops, are too busy in town and around my old neighborhood. Nobody goes out there accepted to go specifically to that farm, or lost. It's a long, rough dead end gravel road that keeps most people away.

Can you tell how bad I want it? As scared as I am to go home, it's too good to not take advantage of. And, maybe I'll start my own little sex cult. We'll see! I've got to survive being good and working off my debt. Which keeps me fucking busy!

So, he keeps my past and criminal background secret because of his work, and reputation. The only people that know, are very close personal friends. He's very successful and his reputation is a big deal to him. So, you'll never see him, and I'll never tell you his name. I'm a little paranoid to face my photos, profile and blog here. It could be bad if he somehow found it. But, I don't see anyone he knows being here. I never knew this place existed, and I'm a closet Disney bdsm kinky perv. Still, my fingers are crossed.

Just to explain why I can't get to messages and have trouble posting and keeping up with comments, hers is a rundown of my life at the moment. Keep in mind, he watches me all the time. I have a tracking app on my phone and have to answer all text, calls and videos calls he sends me, immediately. There are cameras around almost all of the house and outside. There are certain friends and family that he has help supervise and watch me. Plus, he keeps me busy all the time. It's just a good thing I don't hardly sleep thanks to nightmares and... Let's just stick with nightmares for now.

( So, yeah?! I have to break it up again to keep the blog letter limit happy. I imagine some of you are just wanting me to shut up already. But, no! There's still more! Look for the 3rd entry if you're still here. )