I didn't always know I was queer. In my teenage years I masturbated to my dad's porno mags all the time. The Internet was just becoming common but I didn't dare look for porn on the family's shared computer. My dad kept a stack of sex mags in his closet - mostly Playboys but a few European skin mags that showed hardcore sex. 

At some point I gravitated to admiring those more than the airbrushed Playboy centerfolds. The euro mags showed lots of different scenarios but what always got my attention were group scenes with lots of guys and one or two women. Lesbian sex was also a big thing in these magazines, but I don't think I ever even once have masturbated to lesbians.

I loved seeing dick. I loved seeing one woman taking on two or three massive cocks. And I loved how the girthy dicks were almost always highlighted far more than the women - the dicks were the real stars of the scene. If you haven't already, check my gallery regarding straight porn that's actually gay. This is the stuff I was getting off to back then.

When I turned 18, I made a point to buy my own skin mag, the first was a Penthouse. I liked it and stroked to it constantly. But with my new freedom I wanted to branch out a bit, although completely in the closet.

I visited a nearby adult bookstore and beelined to the gay magazine section. I was nervous - it was my first time there and WHAT IF someone saw me go in? What if someone SAW ME buying gay porn? I grabbed the first magazine that looked good, paid and left.

This gay magazine quickly became my GO TO jerk mag. The cocks were so good. The bodies so ripped. And absolutely zero women distracting me from those gorgeous studs. Within a month the magazine was heavily thumbed through. It was time to return to the adult bookstore.

I was a little braver this time - I doubted anyone was going to see me walking in. And if I saw someone I knew inside It'd be just as embarrassing for them.

I wandered over to the gay section and took my time a bit looking at several magazines and getting a bit hard right there in the aisle. At 18 everything made me hard. I saw the signs pointing to the "video arcade" near the back of the store and could hear the sounds of porn movies being played. I had an idea of what went on back there, but wasn't totally sure. 

I cautiously peeked my head around the corner and saw a dark hallway with doors on either side. Guys milled around the hallway looking bored.

I went into a door and inside was an empty booth with a wall mounted TV, a cash feeder and a folding chair. There were holes on either wall connecting to the next booth. I put a couple bucks in and immediately a hardcore scene came on the TV. I changed the channels a bit and just kinda took it all in. I was curious more than aroused. This was all new.

Moments later, I heard the door to the next booth open and shut. Someone put a dollar in to start a video on their side. I was tempted to look, but also frightened to do so. A second later a finger came through the hole beckoning me to come closer.

Panicked. I left. I left the store immediately. What the hell was that all about?

I got home and thought about what had just happened and calmed down a bit. But over the next several weeks I starting thinking about that hole and the finger what could have happened. Of course, I had to go back.

I went back to the adult bookstore. Sure, I wandered the magazine aisles for a bit but the real reason I was there was for the "Video Arcade."

I headed back to the dark hallway and there were still bored looking dudes wandering around, just like last time. I entered the same booth as before and placed a few dollars in the machine. A video started playing. I sat down on the folding chair in the booth and started rubbing my cock over my pants, getting it good and hard. I was scared, nervous and extremely horny.

Then I heard the door in the next booth open and shut. This time I peaked in the hole and saw a man, not terribly attractive. He slipped a finger through the hole but I ignored it. Something didn't feel right. He soon left and I went back to rubbing my cock over my pants.

Eventually I pulled my cock out and started stroking in earnest. The door to the booth next to mine opened and shut again. I looked through the hole and saw the same guy. He half-heartedly beckoned me again with his finger, assuming I'd say no again.

But something came over me (horniness and curiosity) and I stood up and placed my cock through the hole. I felt his warm mouth start sucking. It felt good but very different from any other blowjob I'd ever received. First of all, there was a wall separating us. Secondly, it was a man sucking me. Up to that point I was "straight" and only had girls suck my cock.

He sucked me for a few minutes until my shaved, 18 year old cock exploded in his mouth. Previously when a girl would suck me, that was the end. They'd either swallow my cum or spit it out and we were done.

But this guy continued to suck me. And I continued to stay hard. And that's when I got weak in the knees. He was sucking me so good, absolutely loving my twink cock. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't think of all those porno mags in my dad's closet. All I could think about was this dude sucking my cock.

Finally I exploded a second time in the most mind melting fashion. My body fell limp, almsot like I was drunk. My god that was the best blow job I'd ever received.

I pulled away and zippered up my pants and went home fully relaxed like never before. And I guess fully gay for the first time.