I went home (Sweden) for Christmas to visit my parents and siblings. I was really nice seeing them. I don't go home very often, at most twice a year.

Of course they asked if I'm dating anyone. Which I'm not. I haven't been dating since the black guy that dumped me after the summer. I had told my parents about him so now they know I can date black guys. Next one being black shouldn't come as a surprise to them. I've had sex with a lot of black guys after that but it's not something I tell them. I'm still their little innocent princess.

But when I was at home I started to think of how much easier it would be with a white boyfriend. No looks from people, no racism, no prejudice. I feel like it has become worse in the U.S since I came there the first time and had my first black. It's sad. But black guys is what I'm attracted to and black babies is what I want. No racism is going change that.

I stopped with the pill when I went home. No point in eating it since I pretty much knew I was not going to have sex. I haven't started yet and considering not to for a while to get my regular period back. I just have to be more cautious about unprotected sex but I don't think it's going to be a problem.