Admitting my attraction to Black men was many years in the making. As my profile and first blog entry states, I am attracted to women. All types, shapes and races. But nothing or no one turns me on quite like the sight of a well-built Black alpha male, and of course his big black cock. But what is it about the Black dick that turns me on where seeing a White man's cock makes me wanna vomit? 

Obviously attraction is a matter of taste and preference. Not unlike food. I don't know that you can ever find objective evidence that Black men are more attractive, or that a Black dick looks better than its White counterpart; even if both are the same size. You can do statistical research on the factor that race/ehtnicity play in the size of a guy's cock. Many say it's all a myth and that race doesn't play any role on size. I claim bullshit on that one, but whatever. But a factor that is neither subjective or objective is the attitude and swagger of Black men. There's no scientific data for such a thing. It merely comes from observation.

In my experience, Black men are more "alpha". More dominate. I'll leave the "whys" up to social scientists, but it's hard to deny what is so evident. That attitude is what pulls me toward them. I said in my previous post that I have a small dick. It's your typical middle-aged White guy penis. I've always been very self-conscious about it, but never more so than when I see some Black guy strutting by with his chest puffed out. I feel inferior. He could probably kick my ass if he wanted to. And when it comes to dick size? Please. This puts me in a position where I feel subserviant to Black men. This makes me feel very Beta. Or even like a, well, as "Sissy". It's a powerful emotion really. It's not love, but pure animal lust.

I have no desire to cuddle with a Black man. I just want to be fucked, used and abused and ultimately degraded until he gets his pleasure and leaves me there to wallow in my shame. I serve him him, because of my obvious inferiority. There's not much I can do about it. My dick is what it is, and no pep talk in the is gonna make me feel more Alpha. My pleasure can only come by creating pleasure for others. I have fantasies about being dominated by a female as well, and pleasing her would ironically give me great pleasure in return. But nothing--and I mean nothing--will ever supplant the sight of a sexy Black man, and/or his fat, veiny cock swaying back and forth in front of my face, daring me to try and fit it into my worthless white mouth.