Today’s the first day of the new law, naked public spankings for shoplifters. Just my luck I got caught at WalMart. The loss prevention officer, a big black woman, hauled me back to the security office and did a full strip search. She found the goods in my undies but she still did a cavity search. She grabbed me by the ear and pulled me, bare naked, right out into the store. They had a chair set up near the registers. She sat down, pulled me over her knee and spanked me till I cried. A LOT of people were watching. Half were laughing, half were cheering. I guess the new law is really popular. After I got my bum spanked I had to stand by the chair, bare naked, for 4 hours with a shoplifter sign hung around my neck. Business was booming. Everyone stopped on their way out to take a good look at me and give me trouble. 28 little old ladies smacked my bum. Word must have got out because all my friends showed up. I guess I’m gonna be naked on the evening news and pics in tomorrow’s paper.

Will I stop shoplifting after this? Fuck, no!