As you can probably tell from my user name, my sexual interests are wide ranging and some have very little, if any, connections to each other. But what dominates my favorites (check them out for context if you have the time and/or interest) are things related to interracial sex. Of late they have come to dominate my thoughts and desires. This wasn't always the case.

Until about a year ago, I would've described myself as "straight". I found women attractive; and still do by the way. Sure I had my kinks, but most would be described as existing in the realm of heterosexual male desires. One of those interests was interracial porn. 

It began sometime in the early 90's. I was probably around twenty one or two. A friend of mine was moving and gave me a box of his adult videotapes. Most of it was standard stuff. But there was one that wasn't. It was strictly and explicitly interracial. Not white men and black women. It was black men and white women. I put off watching it for a while because quite frankly the idea of a black man and a white woman together didn't appeal to me. In fact, I'd say it made me kind of angry. I wasn't racist, or at least not consciously so. But it just didn't seem... right. Boy did that change.

After wearing out the other videos I finally gave in and watched the interracial one. To say it changed me is an understatement. When that first scene began and the male actor whipped out his large black dick, I was in awe. By the time he was done fucking his white co-star, I'd shot maybe the biggest load I ever had. 

Over the next few weeks I revisited that video every day. Finally I decided that I needed something new, so I reluctantly visited the local adult video store. It was a seedy place in a rough area of town, and I circled the block a dozen or so times before I got up the courage to go inside.

I pursued the wide selection of videos, reluctant to check out the interracial stuff. I was afraid of being judged. Being judged in an adult video store. Funny isn't it? But it says a lot about how out of the mainstream interracial porn was at the time. Finally I grabbed a Hustler and the first interracial video that I saw and got the hell out of there.

Once again, I came like an erupting volcano when I saw those extremely hung and muscular black men hammering their white female co-stars. At the time the women weren't as attractive as the interracial porn actresses today; likely because of the stigma associated with having sex with black men on screen, and with black men in general. Of course today that has changed. The women who work mostly or exclusively in interracial porn today are hotter than the industry standard. Much hotter in fact. But I didn't care at the time. I just found myself turned on by watching black men with white women. I never consciously tried to justify it. It turned me on and that was enough.

Over the next several years I revisited that adult store many, many times. This was before the internet went mainstream, so if I wanted adult content, this was my only real option. I finally found the courage to buy interracial porn, but I also bought mainstream stuff, too. I just liked seeing women and watching them get fucked. But nothing got me off like the black on white stuff. 

When the internet became more common, I was able to get my kicks online, and I could finally not have to sneak into that adult video store. My computer got its fair share of viruses as I visited various unscrupulous adult sites, but I eventually learned to distinguish the good from the bad, and jerking off to porn became quite easy, and a daily activity.

As the years went by, my sexual interests grew. Standard plastic bimbos fucking strictly for the cash didn't do it for me anymore. I liked more specialized stuff. MILF, BDSM, Lesbian. The usual. I even began to be aroused by "shemale" porn. And of course interracial. That never changed. But my understanding of why did.

I became aware that I liked seeing these white women dominated and "sullied" by being with a black man. Was it a hidden bit of misogyny? Perhaps the fact that I have an, at best, average sized penis, and have always been a bit self-conscious about it. Fearing what these white women I'd been with thought about it. Either way, it got me off. BIG TIME. 

Flash forward to a few years ago. By then I was into stuff like Femdom. I loved seeing men dominated by women. Especially being pegged, as it's known now. I also got off to shemales/trannies, but without the guilt that I had before. But, as you might have guessed, it was interracial that still ruled my sexual desires. At this point I was almost exclusively into amateur interracial. Just as with the more standard stuff, I couldn't get off to the sex for pay thing. I wanted-I needed-to see these women actually fucking the black men for the pleasure of it. What I loved the most was seeing white wives, either cheating or cucking, with black men. The way they reacted was so hot. When they moaned, it was real. When they talked dirty, they meant it. 

Over the last year a new desire began. I found not only amateur interracial sexy. I found black men sexy as well. I denied it at first. I didn't want to admit being "gay". But at the same time I was looking up pictures of black men and black dicks. My searches on ImageFap were all centered around BBC and the like. I'd already flirted with the idea of crossdressing, and now the thought of dressing up as a woman and pleasing a black man made me get off in a way even interracial sex never had. When I watched these white wives being fucked, I desperately wanted to be them. To get fucked by a large, alpha black man. Realizing that I never could be them, it simply evolved into me being a "sissy". I wanted these men to know that I was a white man dressed up like some bimbo slut who only wanted to please them. 

I wanted to be dominated and degraded. I desired to have them call me names like "Faggot" and "Sissy". I wanted them to remind me that I was inferior to them. And then have them shoot their loads all over my face or down my throat. To even piss on me afterward to clean me up. This is quite an evolution from the young guy jerking off to interracial porn in his bedroom.

I still find women attractive. For example, a few weeks ago Sydney Sweeney was on the red carpet with her tits bouncing up and down when she walked and my heart began to race. But when I tried to masturbate to some of her pictures here on ImageFap, even ones of her nude, my dick was limp and no matter how much I tugged at it, nothing happened. To avoid getting blue-balled, I pulled up a picture of a hot black guy, played one of the songs that I listen to when I jerk off to black men (nasty, naughty stuff. In this case "Mother's Daughter" by Miley Cyrus) and started fapping. My dick became rock hard and I came in under a minute.

I've stopped trying to justify what turns me on, and I've quit caring what kind of label people would put on it. Gay. Straight. Bi (what I chose for my sexual orientation on here, even though the only kind of men I find attractive are black). Who gives a fuck? Certainly not me.

Now the question is; can I make the fantasy a reality? I've got a few professional doms here in town, and I've come achingly close to booking a session so that I can live out that desire. I want to be pegged, spit on, degraded and ultimately have them piss all over me. I'm not sure that I could ever drink it, but we'll see. Being horny does strange things to a man. But finding a black man to make my dream come true is more difficult. Firstly it's dangerous, for all of the reasons you can think of. There aren't many professional, for-hire black men whose purpose is to make a white guy his bitch for an hour. And the real thing comes with lots and lots of challenges. In the meantime, I've decided that after the first of the year, when I'm not so strapped for cash after buying presents for all of my loved ones, that I'm gonna dip my toe into the cross-dressing waters. A skirt or a dress at first, maybe some high heels, too. Then a wig and makeup. And I definitely want to experiment with some sort of dildo or butt-plug; particularly before I go see a dom. I need to stretch out my "boi-pussy".

This is all a big leap, but so was going into that adult video store and buying an interracial videotape, so we'll see,