Unfortunately, this interview is no longer online. It is with the author of the first clinical case study of the Hotwife phenomenon, by psychologist Dr David Ley.

Posted on December 4, 2009 —- at an earlier incarnation of www.hotwifeblog.com. Although a classic introduction to the Hotwife/cuckold experience, it has completely disappeared online. A Lifestyle married couple has resurrected the same site’s name, but with their own new and different content.

For most folks, I think this complete interview is pretty much better than his book! It's certainly of wider interest!

HERE’S MY INTRODUCTORY EXCERPT:

hotwifeblog: Tell us briefly about your new book?

David: My book is called “Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who

Love Them.” It’s available on Amazon. 

It is an examination of the history of cuckoldry and permissive female sexual infidelity, along with the research that explains some of this phenomenon. In the book, I talk about women through  history who have been sexually liberated, with their husband’s permission and encouragement. 

The book began after I encountered some couples who live a hotwife lifestyle, and discovered that there has been nothing published about this phenomenon, even though there are lots of people pursuing it currently, as well as many stories of it in history and literature. 

I wrote the book in part because so many of my fellow counselors and therapists believe that couples who are not monogamous are automatically unhealthy in some way, a belief that I did not find to be true. [Instead , Dr. Ley finds Lifestyle Couples enjoy improved, if not very superior relationship communications, thereby cementing their relationship through enhanced emotional and sexual intimacy. Simply confessing unusual desires can liberate! And encourage more mutual depth.]

hotwifeblog: So hotwifing/cuckoldry is not a new phenomenon?

David: I think a lot of people believe it is new, though I found evidence that this

lifestyle has truly been around as long as human sexuality has. In my book, I

talk about examples of this lifestyle in the Bible, in many non-Western cultures,

and throughout Western history. I’ll give you a few examples….

hotwifeblog: Where does the lifestyle come from?

David: I argue in my book that there are lots of reasons for this phenomenon.

For women, it is a means to explore [and enjoy]the fuller reaches of their sexuality, safe within a marriage or partnership and with the knowledge that their sexual explorations will not cost them their husband or boyfriend. 

Sometimes, it is an avenue to explore male bisexuality, even if only vicariously through the wife’s adventures. 

It can also be a means in which men can  “experience” [empathic and vicariously] the greater capacity of sexual fulfillment available to women, getting sexual excitement by watching their wife achieve greater sexual pleasures through the attentions of more than one man. [BINGO!—Me] 

Some men celebrate that they have a wife that other men want [thereby stroking their ego and pride] - they can even share their wife with other men, and enjoy the admiration and envy they get for having such a sexy and uninhibited wife….[Much more on this theme is here omitted.]

hotwifeblog: How do we end up with this kink?

David: I think there is a lot of brain-biology at play here, in different ways. 

Our brain chemistry changes over the course of a relationship.

When we first start a sexual relationship, we are driven by our neurochemicals to have lots and lots of sex, and think about our partner all day long. 

After a few months though, those chemicals subside, and our sexuality changes somewhat, and we become more nurturing and a bit less passionate. 

But, when we start a relationship with other new people, those early exciting neurochemicals roar back at full strength!  

When the wife goes off with another man, she then brings that chemical excitement back to her husband or partner, and her energy is recycled into her primary relationship. [Often, this generates passionate and repeated reunion sex, called “reclaiming,” which can be the best part of wife sharing, many say.]

hotwifeblog: Do you think women have this lifestyle within them or are they

driven to it and adapt to it by the freedom their partners give them?

David: Female sexual capacity is infinitely greater than male sexuality. [BINGO! -Me.] A woman can have as many as fifty orgasms in an hour; a man is limited to at most three

or four. But society has condemned and constrained female sexuality for

millennia, and it is only in cultures where women had economic power that

women could resist those constraints upon their sexuality. 

In our society, it has been the rare woman who innately embraces the full capacity of her sexuality, and explores it outside social dictates regarding monogamy, and being “proper.”

Most, but not all, of these couples start on the path of hotwifing at the husband’s

initiation. 

But, as the wives explore the sexual and personal freedoms in it, many

of them enjoy the ability to reject the social pressures upon their sexuality that

they have experienced throughout their lives, and embrace the opportunity to

pursue unrestrained sexual explorations with other men….

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I’M HAPPY TO SHARE THE FULL INTERVIEW. I RECOMMEND READING IT. JUST PM Me and REQUEST IT, WITH YOUR EMAIL!

There is real heroism in living a liberated and fully sexual life!

I think Dr Ley proves the Truth put by the Marque de Sade: “Variety and multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles for lust.” — From his dialog, “Philosophy in The Bedroom.”