...Not ImageFap specifically. I mean my obsession--and that's not too strong a word for it--with black men and everything that comes (pun!) with it? Let's jump into the wayback machine and find out.

Sometime in the early 90s a friend of mine came over with a porn tape he'd stolen from his Step Dad. I was in my early twenties, and I'd seen porn before, so this wasn't my first rodeo. But as we watched it, one of the scenes featured a black man and a white woman. I'd never seen that before. The guy was huge. Easily drawfing the other guys in the video. He fucked this girl good. I mean really good. My somewhat soft erection instantly became rock hard, and my underwear was soon  drenched with pre-cum. I wanted to jackoff soooo bad, but I had to wait until my friend left, and when he did, I did.

After that day, I masturbated almost exclusively to interacial porn. White men fucking women just didn't do anything for me anymore. I wouldn't say that I was attracted to black men at that point. I just loved seening them dominate white women.  

As the years went by, I found myself evolving, though I denied it at first. I began to search images, particularly of black cocks. I told myself that it was just to imagine them being used to fuck white women, but deep inside I knew better. Soon I was imaging that I was the white girl in those movies. I wanted to be that blonde bimbo riding a big black cock. But why? Why did this happen. Why did I find black men so fucking hot? I pondered this question for many years and I finally came to the conclusion that it's because they are. 

If you don't think that black guys fuck better, you're lying to yourself. They do. It's not subjective. On average their dicks are bigger. Thicker. Better. And they know how to use them. Watch a black man fuck. They're pros while white men are ametuers. There's a reason that most interracial couples consist of a black man and a white woman. The secret is out. White women have heard a friend or a co-worker talk about fucking a black guy, and that made them curious. They had to try it at least once, but as the saying goes "Once you go black you never go back.". When you admit this and free your mind from the idea that white guys are just as good at sex as black men, you'll be much, much happier.

Today my love for black men and their superior black cocks has only grown. It's not just about jerking off to interracial porn anymore. I want to be the woman in the video or the picture, if there is one at all. I often just masturbate while looking at pictures of black guys, or BBC. When I do watch traditional interracial porn, I put myself in the place of the white woman. I actually want to be her. Being a dude in that scenario just doesn't work for me. I have to be the woman or the crossdressing guy who is there to serve his black superior. 

Where does go it go from here? I don't really know. I often think about starting to dress up like some black obssesed bimbo and scour sites looking for local black men who want to fuck a crossdresser on the down low. But it's a big step, and I'm not sure that I'll ever have the courage to go there. But never say never. My obsession is growing all of the time, and at some point I may need to make my dreams a reality.