I'm a life long porn addict.  I lead a "pillar of the community" life for 2/3 of it and at some point the pressure of that bullshit got to be too much.  I was entertaining and funding a circle of dependency around me but I wasn't getting anything out of it.  It wasn't for this reason but there is the sense that one can live their life doing what's expected, checking the boxes, doing the work, getting the awards and certificates, and at the end of all that horseshit you ask yourself -- what was all that for?  Who cares about all that?  Did I enjoy any of it?  Did I really LIVE?  I've seen that happen a lot, first and second hand.

That wasn't my motivation but in hindsight that is what it comes down to.

You know that scene in Pirates of the Caribbean where Captain Sparrow is captured and being read his list of charges?  And at some point one of the charges is something outlandish and ridiculous and he kind of laughs to himself like "haha, yeah I did that"?

It is THOSE moments when you are alive.  Something you did that went against the rules, borderline illegal, outside the norms of proper behavior.  Because if you just do what they told you all your life, you're going to wonder WTF this horseshit was all about in the first place.  I call those "Captain Sparrow Moments".

I've done a number of things that are on that list.  Shooting naked chicks for a period was one of them.  Goddamned right I did.  Wasn't always easy.  Nothing is easy.  But some things you'll remember, and remember enjoying, far more than others.  Choose carefully so you don't end up regretting at the end of your life that you don't have a single goddamned Captain Sparrow moment to claim for yourself.