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    Continuous Motion: Zen and the Art of Anal Swabbing

     

    With Caucasians classified under the Universal Health Mandate, a variety of measures were taken to limit their potential as disease carriers. It was also considered good for public morale to see these measures in place and as a result they were at times openly performative.

    One such case involved the introduction of routine anal swabs to test for viral material, routine could mean monthly or as often as bi-daily. This was first decreed on an American diplomatic delegation during the 2020 coronavirus outbreak, and they were left will little choice but to comply. After the war, the same procedure became widespread for Caucasians even in regions where PCCU control was only indirect. Hospitals, schools, workplaces, gyms, public pools, public restrooms, and nearly all shared facilities were legally required to conduct anal swab tests of frequent Caucasian visitors, employees or students. Anyone could be shown how to perform the test after viewing a short video, even a co-worker or classmate, and with the shortage of available medical personnel to conduct so many tests, the task often fell to those near at hand.

    It was highly frowned upon and in some cases illegal to imply the tests were conducted for any reason except the public health and to mitigate Caucasians as disease vectors. A form was included along with each test kit and swab to allow a report to be made on how cooperative the recipient was on a scale to ten, so the best option for compliance was to show good attitude and enthusiasm for each swabbing session.

    "My boss Ms. Wu insisted I get one before I clean her house in the morning. It's a bit awkward, and there's not a good place to do it out of sight. But, I am really grateful for this job..." - Caitlin, 19, UK

    "Our new manager is Cambodian, and he said for cultural reasons he needs to do my weekly swab himself. At first I didn't like it, I mean, all I do here is data entry, but now it's like I'm having a cultural experience too. He cares so much about our health, he always gives me the full forty seconds! ... It is forty, right?" - Kellie Mae, 24, Iowa 

     
      Posted on : Sep 7, 2025
     

     
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