reading au's thoughts about s/ was at the same time exciting and odd, but it made me think.
s/ and i met for lunch yesterday and these are always good times : she's my best friend in the world, we have known each other for many years now and talk openly about our lives, our couples, our feelings. it's arguably the best time i have outside the house.
i asked myself many times if what i felt for s/ was only friendly, or a bit more : lust ? love ? both ? neither ? our friendship is so good and fulfilling that i would not endanger it, ever, but i know how my core feels when we meet : i have butterflies in my stomach, i get excited easily, i blush when we see each other, i miss her immediately after we leave each otehr to get back to our daily lives...
i totally understand how au feels about it, and even when i try to imagine myself in her arms romantically or sexually, it does not work that way. it would be amazing, definitely worth the time and effort, i'm sure of it. but no.
is it because she's not my type, physically ? what is a type when you're attracted to somebody ? even if s/ is slim, tall and without the curves i like in a woman, she is sensual and sexy, moves like a kitten and would absolutely purr like one in a woman's embrace. but she has never even alluded to it, and i think i read her quite well after so many years !
no, i guess our friendship with s/ is enough to satisfy us and make us happier every time we see each other. but who know what the future holds for us...
-em.
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