there's a contingency of people, very smart people unfortunately, who want to bring the notion of "virtue" back into the public domain. they object to what they call “the privatization of virtue.” so while their arguments are likely to strike the general public as rational and worthy of consideration, their agenda is ultimately to pass laws to support and/or enforce virtue. some of this could be harmless: tax breaks for families and such. but there is a darker side, which could involve suppressing books like mine, and ultimately people like me.

it's good to think these things through for yourself, and to decide carefully what is or is not right for you. and in the end what i am doing and saying is certainly not right for everyone. it's not supposed to be. that's what sexual diversity means: not everyone needs to like or think the same things, nor to want the same sorts of things in their sex lives. 

i accept that there are gay people, straight people, trans people, bdsm-oriented people, and fetish-oriented people in this world, along with a lot of people who just aren't suited for marriage but still need sex, and may be looking for it in a variety of different ways, experimenting with different practices and trying different flavors and personae.

and neither do i object to people loving God and having the idea that the right thing to do is to live according to values that are ultimately derived from scripture. there’s a long tradition of that here in America, and contrary to popular belief i do respect it, and to a certain extent empathize with the frustration of those who hold such strong beliefs. 

i mean i understand their frustration, but i think what they need to do is get over it; i don't think they have any right to impose their views upon anyone else, whether they think those views derive from holy scripture or not.

unfortunately, word is going around in certain circles that it is time for “good people,” that is, those who embrace traditional values, to start imposing their will on “bad people,” such as myself.

 

and i know: virtue, values, cultural ethics and morality is a funny subject for me to even address: the thought that my sexuality lines up with any values whatsoever is somewhat ludicrous.

so my only real point here is that for me, sexuality seems to either precede values, that is, to reflect what is wild and unsocialized within us, or, worse yet, my aberrant sexuality in particular might have been formed in direct opposition to traditional Christian values as reflected in the fucked up Christian family and church-based community in which i grew up. 

it's all a big mystery, really, but it's me and it’s my life. and all i want to suggest is that, just maybe, after all, it turns out that it’s okay to be a person like me. and i want to say this out loud, to both men and women, in hopes that those who feel similar inclinations may chance to hear it, and that they may derive some reassurance and comfort in the fact that they are not entirely alone. and that not everyone in the world thinks they are bad people.

friend, you are not a bad person, whether you have a defensible value system or not. or whether your value system leaves room for your own aberrant sexuality, or not. keep your ethics, but leave a little space imaginatively for the weird, fucked up shit that really turns you on.