I thought I had perfection in my marriage. After three children and twelve years together, I thought Susan and I were going to be together for the long haul. I thought Tanya, 9, Adrian, 7, and Melissa, 5, had sealed the deal. Now, it was 12:30 Thursday morning and all I had gotten was a few texts: 4:30, "Tied up, can you pick up the children." 5:15, "Working late, dear;" 6:40, "Going to be later, still;" 10:15, "Don't wait up for me, honey."

After I put the children to bed, I started drinking beer and thinking about all the wonderful years together. I met her at a college orientation event. She and I were both junior orienteers, as opposed to freshman orientees. We started dating and were living together by the end of the semester. We married the June before our junior years. After graduation, Tanya was soon on the way. We were both progressing nicely in our careers, despite her taking a few maternity leaves.

Staying out this late was so out of character for Susan. Usually, she would call me, rather than sending one-way texts. When it got to Thursday morning, I switched from beer to coffee. Around 1:20 I heard the garage door open. I sat at the kitchen table, sipping coffee. She came in looking like she had had a big night. She had that 'just been thoroughly fucked' look.

"Oh, baby, I told you not to wait up for me," she told me, smiling.

"What's going on, Susan?" I inquired.

"Rick, I love you. I always will. Please don't hate me!" she pleaded.

"Why would I hate you, Susan?" I asked.

"Because I've been with another man," she replied. "Please let me explain."

I explained, "It's almost two in the morning, Susan. What else do I have to do but listen to you?"

She began, "Rick, I have loved you since the night I met you. I still love you. You're still the man I want to raise my children with, and I still want to grow old with you, only you. I'm sure that's the way we both felt this morning. It's the way I still feel. I hope it's still the way you feel."

I told her, "I don't know what to feel. I was totally in agreement with what you just said until you stayed out most of the night with another man."

A few tears ran down her face; she wiped them with a tissue. She continued, "I know this sounds horrible, but I guess I want to have my cake and eat it, too. I want our marriage and our love to continue, but I did totally give my body and perhaps some of my soul tonight. It's Brad Pearson. I should have told you, but when I first saw him. I wanted him, not to love, but to fuck. Unfortunately, I wasn't as subtle as I thought. I don't know if he had the same feelings that I had, but he knew how I felt and for the last couple of weeks he kept the pressure up. He shamelessly flirted with me, he touched me inappropriately, and my reaction was to like it and want more. So, tonight, I got more. Rick, it was as good as I thought it would be, but neither of us thought it was love, nor did we make any pretense about that. It was sheer animal lust.

I guess I'm not as good of a woman as both of us thought, because I gave in. I accepted his dinner invitation, and willingly went to a motel with him after a delightful dinner date. I had no illusions about what was going to happen at the motel, and it was fantastic for over five hours. It was right up there with our first time together. I was weak with resistance and strong with desire. I never wanted to hurt you, but I know I have. All I can say is that I want our love and marriage to continue. I still love you and I hope you will understand that I am only a woman, and I have yielded to temptation. I can't lie; I loved every minute of it. I just hope to high heaven that we can still love each other."

I suggested, "I didn't know you valued fidelity so little, Susan."

She cried a little, and then replied. "I do value it, Rick, although I certainly violated it last night. Can you still touch me? I know you must be disgusted with me and what I have done."

I asked her, "You don't really regret it, do you, Susan?"

She thought a moment before replying, "I will regret it, if it destroys our marriage. I have to be honest with you. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although it seems like you don't want to touch me, at least you're listening to me. This was not a reflection on you, it's merely a statement of my not being able to control my lust."

Then I decided that I needed to know more. "You apparently had a wonderful night. Do you intend to continue with er-uh-Brad?"

She quickly replied, "I don't want to lose you, Rick. I love you and I realized I have put everything at risk. I'm going to be completely honest with you. I told him I would spend the weekend with him."

I had to say, "So, is this going to be a continuing affair on your part?"

She admitted, "In the back of my mind I thought this would be a one-off and done. When he asked me about the weekend, I realized I wasn't finished yet. I think this weekend might be the end, but maybe it won't. I know now that I want him again. I'm so sorry that I seem to have lost my self-control."

I told her, "This is an awful lot to take in. I'm torn between wanting us to stay together and wanting us to split. What bothers me the most is that I'm afraid neither one of us knows where this is going. I'm sure you can appreciate I don't want to play the fool in this. Maybe you don't love him now, but after screwing him for a week or a month or a weekend, you may decide that being married to good old Rick isn't enough anymore. Have you thought about that?"

She confessed, "I haven't really thought about that possibility. However, I believe that as passionately as I now feel about Brad, and in spite of how much I enjoyed last night, this is not going to be a long-term affair. I still want you to be my man. I don't have to have this weekend if it is too much of a threat to our love and marriage. I know you want to think about this before making any sort of decision. We can talk about it again tonight. I do still love you very much, Rick. Number one for me is you and our relationship. Unfortunately, the weekend with Brad is a solid number two. I want that a lot, but if you can forgive me for last night, and tell me you won't forgive me this weekend. I'll tell Brad I am staying home to rebuild your confidence in me. I will never lie to you, Rick."

I replied, "I think I still love you and want to be with you, but this is a really big deal. I'm not getting a warm fuzzy about you wanting to spend the weekend with this Brad."

She concluded, "We can't decide now. We need to try to get a little sleep. Perhaps, things will be a little clearer tomorrow. I suppose sex is off the table for tonight."

I told her, "I think we're both a little beyond giving it our best effort right now. I'm glad to know that other men find you as desirable as I do, but unhappy that you let it go so far."

Her response was, "Agreed. I love you, Rick!"

I said, "Good night, Susan."

We both went to bed, each thinking our own private thoughts.

Susan

It could have gone much worse. At least we were talking. I didn't want to cancel Brad's weekend plans, but I had to be realistic. If it was intolerable to Rick, I would have to end the whole thing, even though I didn't really want to. I had yielded to an overpowering passion to taste Brad's body. Even though doing him again was appealing, it no longer was an overwhelming desire when put up against my marriage. I knew that I might start feeling it again when I saw him tomorrow, but I couldn't put that ahead of my marriage. I couldn't give up on my love and marriage with Rick. The outcome of my bad, but enjoyable, behavior was still up in the air. Tomorrow would be an interesting day even though it might not turn out to be what I was hoping for.

Despite my lack of sleep, I got up early and fixed Rick the waffle sandwich that he loved. His waffle sandwich had a Belgian waffle with four strips of bacon on the waffle and three eggs over easy on top of that. He came down and thanked me for the surprise waffle breakfast.

"Susan," he began, "I didn't have any great plans for this weekend. I thought we'd hangout, make love Saturday night. If you spend the weekend with Rick, I'm going to be all alone for the whole weekend with nothing to do but think about what you're doing with Brad."

"You're right," I admitted. "That doesn't sound like much fun for you. I don't want you to spend the whole weekend alone. Is it all right if I talk to Brad and do something with him less time-consuming?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I think the whole weekend is a bit beyond the pale. I haven't thought about something less that didn't take you away all weekend."

"How about this?" I suggested. "I'll tell Brad that the weekend is off, after I talked to you. I'd like to give him something in consolation."

"Susan," he admonished me. "I think I can say that I can live with last night because I love you. That's all I've committed to. I don't think I have forgiven you yet; I'm just saying I don't want to split up over one night of passion with another man."

I did my best to tell him what I had in my heart, " I'm not going to lie to you. Even I can see that would be the end of us. I have cheated with Brad, and I want to do it again. I know I must be truthful. I love you and I know that, and I want you to know that our relationship is number one. I know cheating wasn't included in our marriage vows, and I don't think that I can promise that I will never cheat again. However, I won't do it with Brad again without some kind of acceptance from you. If you say, you can't tolerate any more, there won't be any more. My next step, unless you disagree, is to call Brad and tell him the weekend is off the table."

"Okay," I said, "Let's take care of that. I trust you so I don't need to listen in."

"Thanks for that!" I told him and called Brad.

"Hi, Brad," I opened with.

"Hey, beautiful," he replied, "What's up?"

I informed him, "Rick knows what I did last night, and told me that he couldn't accept me going away with you this weekend."

"Why did you tell him?" he inquired.

I replied, "Because I love him too much to lie to him."

He spoke pensively, "Ah, the perils of married life. Look, Susan, this is going to really mess me up. I thought you would be my date for an important party on Saturday night. Do you have any slack at all? The party is important to me. I had hoped you would be looking forward to it, too."

I said, "All I can do is talk to him. Maybe I can convince him that Saturday night is a good compromise for me giving up the weekend. Brad, I love him, and like I told you before, I wasn't planning on divorcing him. He has the d-word hammer!"

Brad continued, "Do what you can. I was really counting on you for Saturday night. The rest of the weekend is less important."

I asked him, "Why is this party so important to you, Brad? It's just a party, right?"

Brad replied, "There will be at least one important client there. It's a small dinner party, probably no more than twelve people. Everyone there is supposed to be a couple. I'm worried I won't be able to find another date this late."

I concluded, "Okay, Brad, I'll talk to him some more. I really enjoyed last night."

He dismissed me, "I did, too, Susan. Talk to hubby. Bye!"

All I could say was, "Bye, Brad!"

I went back in the house. A sad Rick was sitting on the sofa, looking at some news program.

"Hi, honey!" I told him as I put my arm around him and then kissed him. "Brad was counting on me going to a Saturday night party with him. You know that I value our marriage more than a party, but I feel bad about letting him down completely."

Rick thought for a moment. "If you go to the party, you are going to want to fuck him afterward, right?"

I replied, "I'm sorry, honey. If you can't tolerate that possibility, I won't go!"

He thought for a moment. "I don't want you to go to the party. I'm not very happy at the prospect of condoning you having sex with your lover. That's what I'd be doing if I agreed to give you a pass for Saturday night. I don't even want to be making this decision."

I gave my best argument, "I know, honey. It's really asking a lot. Here's the acid test. Do you think you can make love to me or even fuck me tomorrow and Friday night, and still let me go with him on Saturday night?"

He asked me, "Do you know how much I love you, Susan? It's clear to me that you want this a lot. I don't want to force you to give up something you want, just because I don't share your enthusiasm, but a Saturday night date that I know will end up with you fucking this Brad guy is certainly a lot to ask. Give me some time to think about it. I'll tell you tonight. We both need to get a move on. I'm afraid we're both going to be late to work."

I was a few minutes late getting to work. Brad walked by my desk, discreetly not even recognizing my presence. A few minutes later he called me, "What did hubby say?"

I replied, "He told me he would tell me tonight. I know this complicates things a lot, but he knows how much I want this. I don't know how I can do things differently without blowing up my marriage. I'm a little surprised that he's not being more punitive about last night."

He told me, "I think you're right that that is a good sign. Will you call me tonight?"

I continued, "I'll call you as soon as I know anything. Bye for now!"

He concluded our call, "Bye, Susan," and hung up.

Rick

I felt like I was making one of the hardest decisions of my life. I didn't think I could punish her for her misdeeds and continue to have the kind of marriage I wanted. Of course, I wanted a marriage without cheating, but that train had already left the station. Whatever solution we arrived at, it would be a tradeoff between my happiness and Susan's. That didn't seem like a good thing to have in a marriage. Maybe I could let this one slide, but make sure that she understood straying from the marital bed was not a good thing, and every time she strayed it was a big deal even if it wasn't clearly a deal breaker as far as our marriage was concerned.

I wondered if there was some way of limiting her activities on Saturday night. I knew that if she went, she would be fucking him, the question was how many times? Could we set some limits? I didn't like her sleeping with him. I couldn't think of any other limit that made sense. I would say I was okay with her going to the one party with him, but I didn't want her sleeping with him. I would have to discuss it thoroughly with her when I got home tonight. I was beginning to have some doubts about whether she really would continue to be the mother of my children. I knew that my hope she would get enough of him anytime soon was forlorn at best. I decided that I would tell her my thoughts after we ate our supper. I would be good if we could work in a few kisses and 'I love you's' in before our discussion started. I knew that my idea of a perfect marriage was another train that had already left the station.

Susan

I had no idea what Rick would say tonight as we silently ate supper. Both of us were thinking about what we would say after dinner. I was sure that neither of was looking forward to what would be at best a hard discussion. Whatever happened I had to make sure that he knew that I loved him, despite lusting for Brad.

Rick opened with, "Let's get to it. I hope I have come up with something we can both live with although I'm sure neither of us will be completely satisfied."

I interrupted, "Before you say what you have decided, I want to tell you that I love you. I love you with all my heart. Whatever we decide, I will still love you. Whatever takes place Saturday night, I will still love you. I may lose control of my lust and passion, but I will never stop loving you." I kissed him.

Rick replied, "Thank you for that, I love you, and I realize sometimes we must make sacrifices to keep our relationship going. First, the other night is history. I won't forget it, but as far as there being any need for forgiveness, I'm on board with that. Second, we're both adults and in spite of the other night, I still trust you and have confidence in you. I can live with you going to the social event with Brad tomorrow night. I know you will probably both want to have sex afterward, and I believe I can live with that; however, I want you to come home afterward, and even if you don't make love to me, I want you to sleep with me. I hope you will come home at a reasonable hour."

I hugged him and kissed him, "That's great, honey! You're the best! I love you!"

He continued, "I'm not comfortable with condoning your having sex with him, but I think I can live with it, and I hope that sometime over the weekend, you will try to make it up to me. You can't, but I hope you will try. Maybe you will surprise me."

I told him, "Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being the best husband in the world. I love you. I look forward to making it up to you, even if Brad and I don't have sex after the party."

Then Rick asked, "How about tonight? Is the door open?"

It was the first time Rick had any interest in making love, "Of course, my love, I want you so very much! I'd like to call Brad now, because I might not be in the mood later."

I called Brad and told him what I thought was good news. He seemed less excited than I was, but I guess he had been much more into the idea of us spending a weekend together than I was. After that, Rick and I made love. It wasn't our best effort of all time, but then it wasn't all that much behind, either!

I was excited all day Saturday as I went about my errands, making sure I would look my best for the party. Brad picked me up at seven. I kissed Rick goodbye, which Brad didn't like, but he wasn't married to Rick, and I was.

On the way to the party, Brad explained that this was not a big party, but one with very influential people, four of which were at least potential clients, one of which was a competitor, and one of which was an ally, but that was not known by all. The party was being held by the biggest potential client of all, William Jacobsen. Brad's ally was Skip Paxton. It was supposed to be a party of twelve, but Skip didn't have a date. Cocktails started at 7:30 in a large reception area although the eleven of us only sat at two tables.

At 8, a butler appeared and announced that 'dinner was served,' and the whole party moved to the large formal dining area. The seating for twelve seemed a little dwarfed by the scale of the room. It was a fantastic meal. I could only sample the many dishes. Throughout the dinner our wine glasses were kept filled. Around nine, we were served a choice of desserts, and after that we returned to the reception area where William served drinks from the open bar.

Around ten, three of the couples left, and William's wife retired for the evening. I thought that was the end of the party, but William put on some music and William, Skip, and Brad all indicated that they wanted to dance with me, so we stayed for a while. The only thing bothersome about this was that all three guys were very handsy, rubbing my ass and my thighs, as well as doing a lot of flirting. Brad asked me to take my bra and panties off 'just for him.' I told him I didn't think that was appropriate, but he dared me to go 'commando.' After a few back and forths, I went to the rest room and went 'commando.' I put my bra and panties in my purse and returned to the table.

We continued dancing and the three guys continued taking turns feeling me up and playing with the zipper for my dress under the guise of dancing. After a while the music turned to slow songs and the three guys took turns making out with me. I was becoming very aroused. Then Brad suggested I take my dress off. I told him that I didn't sign up for a gangbang. He replied that it wasn't a gangbang if was just a foursome and didn't I like William and Skip. I told him that actually I didn't. All the other guests had left, including William's wife.