In stark contrast to the previous night with Lorna, there was no kissing, no real holding, or romance. She rushed over to me with a fierce look in her eyes and quickly started on my buttons. After a bit, I simply grabbed the lapels of her negligee and roughly separated them to the sides, then quickly lifted her nightie over her head. Truthfully, she was still attractive to me, even with the extra pounds and I lusted at what I once treasured. She finished me and then she pushed my hand to her crotch. Maybe she didn't expect me to go down on her like I had our entire marriage, or maybe she saw me as dirty, damaged goods. If so, at least she now knew what it felt like. But there was no fucking way I was ever going to touch her there with anything but my fingers or my cock.

I roughly rubbed her until she had a small orgasm and then I pushed her to lay back, one foot up on the back of the couch, pushed into her violently, and started rapidly banging her as if to try to break her pussy. The noise she made, I'd never heard before. A part of me was glad she was enjoying herself but maybe this was how the others treated her. I pumped away, viciously and much harder than was usual for us, while she humped back on me with equal vigor. While I was banging her, I twisted her nipples and pulled on them, something I had never done, but something she seemed to like...a lot. Through it all, I wondered how much she might be thinking of Densless or the other guys. Regardless, I just hammered away, thinking of my own release.

Fifteen or so minutes later, okay, I came in her. She screamed and humped throughout so I knew she felt thoroughly fucked. Leah wouldn't let me humiliate her any further, or as she had me. She got up right away as if making the first move.

"That was nice," she gave a sad smile. "Next time, and every time after that, this will happen in our marital bed. We will never have sex down here again."

I had plenty of additional retorts, but they didn't seem worth it then. It struck me again that there was not one ounce of remorse or regret from her. She wanted cock and she got it; it seemed that I was only incidental to the act, the cock that was most convenient and nearest at that moment. Was she not apologizing because I was purposefully hurting her back, or did she plan to keep fucking Densless and others, or both? I was okay with losing a few battles as long as I won the war.

At the base of the stairs, she stopped abruptly, and without turning around, said, "I don't want you ever to fuck my sister again or I'll find someone to put your balls in a jar."

I smiled back at her, then shook my head. She still thought she was in charge and her order only hardened my resolve as far as Lorna was concerned. This was turning out way better than I ever thought! Yep, the long game it was.

>>>>

Time does change things, I must admit. Things around the house began to normalize, albeit still with some tension. The kids found endless things to do with their friends and classmates, so spending time with them became the greatest challenge of all. I was at peace because I knew they knew this was still their home as opposed to having to split time with each of us. Until that one day, I was convinced that all would have happened anyway, even if Leah and I were happily married.

The strangest thing about Leah's behavior - I mean, I would have bet big money against it, knowing my wife for so long - after all the trauma we'd been through, was that she still had never confronted the problem head-on. Whether she wanted to keep getting strange on the side or if she wanted to try to best me at my own game, I had given up trying to figure it out. It was still possible she thought she could wait me out, and I'd come crawling back before the kids left the house for good. In my mind, if she wanted to fuck or I wanted to fuck her, I wouldn't say no.

In the weeks and months after that first one, I expected Leah to try to explain, beg and plead, and make every excuse in the book. She never did. It was almost as if she was following some very bad advice that my anger would subside or that I'd come back to her. Like an exclamation point, it emphasized how badly she misread me and that she really didn't know me after all these years. Forgetting all that had preceded her trip to Philly, I had continually given her clear signals and comments about how things would be, but she seemed to ignore them as she had everything else. My love for her was gone by then.

I dated several women in addition to Lorna, just to keep my options open, none for more than two months, and I often went to their place when sex was on the menu. In fact, I only had a woman in my bed if I knew the kids would be gone that night, and most of the time it was Lorna. Leah, of course, knew about some of them but never brought it up.

That second month, she got me into our old bed a few times. I had the distinct feeling she was getting her needs met elsewhere, which is why I started using condoms. It was that act of defiance that told me she was getting it elsewhere; with whom was of no interest to me. When I went to her bed, it was simply to get my rocks off and fuck her as hard and raw as I ever did with anyone; hate-fuck didn't come close to describing it. I often wondered why she still insisted on fucking me because if she had never come to me again, I would not have missed it and my demeanor should have been a clear signal. By now, the only time I fucked her was when she came to me.

Things slowed from there until around the tenth month, when she stopped approaching me for sex altogether. She maintained her façade in front of the kids, but as they became young adults, they understood the reality of our relationship.

But through it all, I kept going back to Lorna for friendship and sex, and she to me. We had become close, not just fuck buddies. Maybe it was our shared past of misery, but I thought it was simple chemistry. We were happy together, no matter what we did or where we went. She was so damned easy to talk to and I was eager to listen to her. It was something Leah and I had previously, but it was so long ago, I couldn't remember when. We even went so far as to talk about more permanent living. We agreed to wait until Leah was gone, the kids were out of the house and we'd revisit it then. Lorna all but told me she'd wait, giving herself to only me until then.

Two years into our precarious new relationship, I picked up the Sunday paper, smiling as I read the article. A local businessman, Bryce Densmore, was viciously attacked in the parking structure across the street from where he worked. His wallet and briefcase were taken and he suffered some debilitating injuries. The attackers were never identified or apprehended.

Planning. The police never approached me, and Leah never said anything about it.

Chris was in his first year of college, and yes, he was at Northwestern. I had become an avid cyclist, even winning sprint events from time to time. Lorna and I were still going strong as we continued to find ways to please each other sexually. As time passed, those bouts and the afterglows served to underline what was becoming something deeper. We both talked about it without reservation.

The telltale sign was that I had difficulty being intimate with Leah after being with Lorna, even as my time with Leah was practically nil. It suddenly felt so wrong.

Hallie had recently turned eighteen; it was another cold, dreary February. Our daughter sat at the dinner table, clearly troubled about something. Leah and I watched her pushing her food around her plate, patiently waiting.

"Mom, Dad," she sounded so sad and nervous. "I'm pregnant." She didn't meet either of our gazes.

No words were spoken for at least a minute. I was sure I'd heard wrong. It was Leah who weighed in first.

"Son-of-a-bitch, Hallie!" she launched in. "How could you do this? You're already enrolled at Suffolk. What the hell were you thinking, young lady?"

Hallie didn't flinch. "What? Are you surprised? My role model? I want to be just like mom!"

I tried to interject, to break it up, but didn't get the chance. Breaking down completely, Hallie flew from the table and up the stairs, cursing her mother for every problem the family had endured those past few years, up to and including Hallie's current one. When the expletive "Slut" left her mouth, Leah flew up the stairs to go after her. I knew it would get physical, and I followed, matching her cadence.

I caught Leah's right arm just before she slapped our daughter and pushed her back out of Hallie's room, hard. No words were needed.

She quickly turned to me and tried to lash out, but I was too strong, repelling her arm even as she began to kick me.

"Go ahead, Leah. Show your hate, but when you're done, go and look in the mirror because that's the person you should be attacking. Now, leave us alone; I have to talk to her. She needs an ear, not a kick!"

Hallie sat and cried as I held her for a long time. It was truly the first time I ever questioned my strategy, but it was too late by then.

"Please, Baby, please. You made a mistake. It happens. We'll... I'll be with you through the entire process. You're not alone. I'm not judging you. You're my daughter and I love you as I always have and always will." She crumbled in my arms, sobbing in heaves that broke my heart. That didn't mean she wasn't disappointed in me, too. I could feel it.

Those next two days, the house was an iceberg. I tried to talk to Hallie about who the boy was and whether it was an accident. She remained sullen and wouldn't talk about it.

The next afternoon, I found myself breaking every traffic law on the books. Hallie had fainted at school and was en route to the hospital. When I arrived, she was in a surgical suite. Leah arrived just a few minutes later, stricken. I thought, "Could the realities of her behavior to us finally be realized by her selfish self?"

The doctor appeared not fifteen minutes later and told us Hallie was resting but had terminated the pregnancy. Being from a different generation, I found his words almost offensive. At the same time, I was somewhat relieved that my baby girl wouldn't end up with a child at such a young age.

Her remorse must have been short-lived because Leah was now pissed - way too pissed to get into it with me. I was sure she decided everything that transpired was my fault. We were way past fighting or even talking to one another most days. The harsh words spoken to her by our daughter hadn't stuck.

The doctor told us we wouldn't be able to see her for an hour or two, so Leah left the emergency room. I just sat there. When they came to tell me Hallie was awake, Leah hadn't returned yet. I texted her and then went into my daughter's room.

"Oh, Daddy!" her shriek was soft but gut-wrenching. No other words were needed. I leaned over the bed and hugged her tightly. Many things went through my mind. Had I caused this? Had Leah and I both? I told myself, 'No.'

After we broke the hug, Hallie looked me in the eye - the kind of look from a child that pierces your soul.

"Are you divorcing Mom when I leave for school?" She got straight to the point.

"I am, but let's leave that for later. Your recovery is what is important now." I told her without hesitation.

"Good," she sounded relieved. "On the way here, I was awake after I initially fainted, and I made some decisions about my future. I made peace with the fact that I might lose the baby. He... we, he and I, we're not in love. I want to go to school. I want to really start my life. I've worried about you ever since, Mom... well, you know. I no longer want to be the reason you stick around. You need to have an epiphany about your life, too, Dad, and I am so glad you and Auntie Lorna are together."

Just then, Leah stormed in and ran to our daughter, hugging her. I stepped out.

I sat in a coffee shop for hours, considering my life and Hallie's advice. She was pretty damned smart for an eighteen-year-old.

Four years ago, my plan was multifaceted. I wanted to protect my children and my money in a divorce. I wanted to see my kids every day until they flew the coup, and I wanted to spread my funds around over time so Leah couldn't get her hands on them when we divorced.

I was playing with house money as far as Lorna was concerned. Nowhere in my plans was she considered even slightly. By now, although she still shared her apartment with her friends, it was rare that she wasn't at my place, in my bed, and eager to deepen our bonds. She sensed that, despite my apprehension from the treatment at Leah's hand, I was slowly softening and Lorna knew it. The fact that she saw an opportunity to finally get even with her sister while giving and getting sexual nirvana was icing. Now, not only was my ego being fed, but I was beginning to feel genuine love for her, the kind I once felt so long ago...and thought I'd never feel again.

She had also become more settled. Her alma mater, a Division II college, wanted her to take over the basketball program, hoping she could do as a coach what she did as a player. Her coach was near retirement, so the timing was right, and the transition could be smooth. When she accepted, we both knew that for the near term, she would be married to turning the program around.

"Babe, whatever you need from me, you've got." I assured her. "I think this is natural and it is clear they want you. I'm here for you as you've been for me." When she accepted, there was a press conference and we adjourned with the team to a celebration. We also consummated the event at my place, and she was as vocal as ever, if not more so, though we knew Leah was home. Unlike in the past, I didn't care whether Leah could hear, and it had been forever since she had been downstairs.

Indeed, during those first few months, the only times we were able to get together were on occasional nights just to change it up for her; she slept in her office frequently. Or, we... the kids, particularly Chris... would attend some games. Unsurprisingly, they were becoming closer to Auntie Lorna even though they had seen less of their mom.

And while I continued to see Angie and others, they were only a tiny part of my life now. I knew Lorna's focus would be her team and given her laser focus on the job at hand, it made sense that it would consume most of her time. I had no problem with it because the more we were together, the more I realized that she really was into me...and now Chris and Hallie...with no agenda but our individual and collective happiness. I also knew that with so much time at the college, she was among her peers, and there was a great risk that she may become involved.

"I really feel fulfilled, content every time we're together," she'd say. "You know how long I crushed on you and since that first night downstairs, those feelings have only intensified. Yeah, it's a bonus that I'm pissing off my sister but I think less about her and I am totally consumed with you being my future. If you told me you wanted me to quit coaching...I don't think you would...I'd do so without hesitation. You encouraged me and were kind to me when I was low and unsure of myself and you complete me now as a woman. I don't think I could be luckier."

On the other front, I'd decided that my revenge would be for nature to take its course. If I were careful with my health and fitness, I would age like a fine red wine, while Leah would age like a bottle of vinegar.

I wanted her to feel my indifference even as we lived separately in the same house, whether or not she brought men home. The fact that her sister had been so openly vocal and demonstrative, starting with that night she walked in on us, was, in and of itself, revenge. The ravages of age would essentially be the completion and I hoped that as her 'chubbiness' morphed to old age flab and cottage cheese, something with which I was always comfortable, she may finally realize that she walked away from the compassion and honest love that would have made her physical decline a non-factor.

I imagined her at our children's weddings, looking much older and single, I imagined her at the birth of our grandchildren, old and on the arm of some sixty-seven-year-old man, who had trouble getting a rise, even hopped up on Cialis, or some Rico Suave adorned in neck chains and a pinky ring, checking out the other women in the room as Leah was draped on his arm. In none of these did I have to do anything to get even, to make her feel the pain she caused me. What nagged at me was whether she would finally observe these possibilities or continue to ignore them.

Months later, much had changed, although most people would have had difficulty seeing it. Angie, the woman I'd met almost a year earlier, was like the rest. I made sure she was looking for a little no-strings-attached sex. She was a pleaser yet vocal about what she wanted. Angie knew my plans with Leah and vowed she could wait for me, but she never knew about Lorna. I decided to test that since I'd already been burned. We took things very slowly, very slowly such that even as she had said she'd wait, her frustration showed frequently and we'd go weeks without contact.

Then, it all came to an end. Leah and I were returning from taking Hallie to Suffolk. She'd recovered and was like a whole new person. As we drove, Leah asked me to stop at a little diner just outside of town for a bite to eat. It was a place we'd frequented in happier times, and they had a mile-high corned beef on rye that was to die for.

After the waitress had taken our order, a young woman approached our table. I'd watched her for a few moments, watching us, deciding when to make her move.

"Mr. John Corbin?" she asked, a packet in her hand. I looked at Leah and her eyes avoided mine. I knew what was happening.

"I suppose you need to see some ID," I said, rather than ask. The woman seemed a bit surprised by that, as if it was the fun part of her job to blow up people's lives.

The transaction was complete, and I took a long sip of my soda without staring a hole through my - finally - ex-wife. Leah looked back at me then, and I couldn't say for sure what I saw on her face. It had been so long since either of us cared.

"You don't seem surprised," she asked playfully, "that I beat you to it."

"I never considered it a game to be won or lost. We've both lost, but only one of us recognizes it. No, I'm not surprised, Leah, just tired, and I'm surprised, even for you, that you see this as a victory lap. I hope you won't make a big production out of it even as you may think you've won something."

"No," she said gloomily. "You've already taken almost everything from me, anyway. I'll be forty-nine in a few months, pushing fifty, and these past four years have taken a toll. You've been quite clear vocally and with your behavior, that we were done. I just reached the point where I needed this to be resolved one way or the other so here we are. Just one thing: when was it over, when did you quit?"

My jaw locked almost in pain, and I took a breath to regain calm.

"Hmm, now you're concerned? It was all over but the shouting after the Christmas party. I just kept recalling how you dismissed me, the superior demeanor in front of your colleagues, and me not knowing then that Densless was the one. I felt humiliated after that, but not for long. I still held out thin hope that I could convince you but it was slipping away each day because you wouldn't budge or discuss anything with me. You dismissed it as my ego and jealousy rather than seeing that your husband still cared and wanted desperately to find a resolution. It died when you would not cancel your trip with Densless after I humiliated myself by begging you."

Leah looked down as if surprised by that information. She was about to say something profound, and I let her go on because I knew she needed to get it off her chest.

"In the beginning," she continued, "I couldn't understand why you wouldn't get over it. You were such a rock for all of us that I thought your love for me would drive you to recover and move on, to view that as a mere bump in our long road together, a few days out of two decades. I'd have bet on it! Your anger I understood. Then you brought Lorna to our house - I know it was your 'apartment,' but it was still 'our' home. That hurt me like you wouldn't believe. We didn't have a good relationship, and I treated her like a stepsister, but she is my sister. I knew then that I had seriously underestimated you as a man. I knew you'd never go to counseling, so I decided to go on my own. I wasn't sure then, or now, if she was new-fangled or old-fashioned, but right from day one, she made me focus on me - on my life and what I wanted, as opposed to us."

She took a break as our sandwiches arrived. It was easy to see she was deciding whether to proceed with the next part of her speech, whatever that was.

"My therapist told me it was okay," she went on, "if I asked you for sex. She said it was natural; we were still married, and it was part of our vows. It was completely okay, whether it was just for my needs or if I thought the connection might bring us back.

"Then, around the eighth month, it dawned on me that you were getting your needs met, but elsewhere, and with my sister. You weren't just using a hall pass or trying to get revenge. You had moved on. That realization took me to a dark place, and with my counselor's help, I decided just to stop worrying and focus on myself. As you stated so well, it was obvious I could no longer tell you what to do. You weren't listening anyway."

It was interesting that our marriage was mentioned in the context of sex during her little talks with the therapist, but she never seemed to be concerned about those vows in the lead up to the 'conference. "It doesn't sound to me like you gave your counselor a very good profile of me, of our marriage, or a true depiction of what really went down," I stated. "If you had, I wonder if her advice would have changed. Either that or therapy hasn't taught you much. I would have been interested in her evaluation of not only your motivation to cheat in the first place and why you did it when you had it so good. Whether or not you share that with me, I believe THAT'S the unanswered question." I started eating, having little more to say.

I saw a look on her face for the first time in the years since she went to the conference. Unspoken, it told me she never thought she had it all that good. She didn't share my opinion in that regard and that look was a tell. Could it be that simple?

"I hated you, you know." She blurted out, her mouth full. "When you wouldn't budge, I hated you more."

I thought about that without responding right away.

"Perhaps, Leah," I replied blandly, "but I think that you hated the fact that I hated you.

Leah lost some of her external composure at that. She knew exactly what I meant. She'd expected me to roll over and take it. I hadn't intended to score direct emotional hits on her. I'd already had my revenge, and the rest would happen organically over time.

"Regardless of the therapy," she said, "I always hoped that with you under the same roof, with our family intact, you would forgive, even if you didn't forget. I thought if I could prove that we were good together, you'd return to me. But you were hell-bent on revenge."

"And just out of curiosity," I asked, genuinely interested, "When did you figure out that wasn't going to happen?"

"The day Hallie told us she was pregnant." She was so quiet and sad then. "You challenged me to attack you, and you were completely on her side as her protector. On reflection, that's what fathers and mothers do, but I was too emotional at her fall to recognize it then. You had NEVER challenged me regarding the kids!"

That shocked me. I would have expected Leah to come to that conclusion much sooner. Again, she's proven I never really knew her.

"Interesting," I said. "You figured it out four years too late."

She put her sandwich down and her demeanor changed. "Why in the hell did you bother to stay? I know you spoke of keeping things as normal for them as possible but it was obvious that your indifference was really a mask for your hate of me."

I took in a deep breath and let it out. I guess it wouldn't hurt anything to come clean at that point.

"While you were on your 'week out of time,' I was planning, Leah. It appeared you were in love with your boss, at least in lust, so I wasn't even sure you'd return. I was reminded of that night after the party when you were so aggressive in bed, something you rarely were, at least with me. So, while you may have said that there was nothing before Philly, that night told me differently.

"It appeared that I might end up as a single father without you. Not that you wouldn't come back for the kids, but you likely would not return to me. Besides, I was pissed and hurt. There was no way I was going to let you or the court plan my life or my life with my kids. So, I made my plans."

I let her digest what I'd said, then added, "That was all that mattered. You certainly weren't thinking about them when you gave me your half-assed admission and left with him. This state's laws would have eaten me alive in a divorce. I wasn't sure then if you didn't already know that or maybe hoped I'd leave. For all I knew, you'd come home, proclaim your love for Densless, and tell me we were divorcing."

"It had nothing to do with that!" She protested.

"I didn't know that! How could I? Every time I tried to get you to talk to me, you avoided it. There was nothing to tell me otherwise, so my imagination ran wild. And I still don't know the 'why.' I'm long past caring at this point." I got louder than I should have, forcing myself to tone it back. "I was confused, angry, and hurt, but only for a little while. When I make a plan, I stick to it. You, of all people, should have figured that out the minute you came home and down those basement stairs.

"As time went on," I continued, "my focus was on my plan, which I must admit, was when the rest of my love for you dried up. My hate quickly turned to indifference. Then it was just a matter of sticking to the plan."

"Men," she spat. "Half of you with your moral high ground, trying to dole out lessons to us poor, stupid women. The other half only wants to get laid, at any cost. I must admit, though, you played a high trump card with Lorna. Well done, because that still grates.

"I tried to go back to him, you know?" This was the part where Leah desperately tried to salvage something akin to black in her ledger, on the balance sheet of her life.

"At the ten-month mark," she declared. "But he'd already moved on to his next conquest. You stopped wanting me, and so did he. We chatted very briefly but it was clear that I was yesterday's news. I know; you told me so. As old and plain as I may have felt leading me to his bed, I felt much older, much plainer, and totally useless as his words and attitude told me, "No chance!" The humiliation I felt that day gave me a glimpse of what you must have felt with me, as much I did not want to admit it. A real Karma moment!"

Strangely, even though we had been living in the same house since the 'event,' I expected to feel something for her, but I didn't. The callouses on my heart were too complex and well-formed because she had never given a straight answer about why she chose to go with him. At least he had gotten what he deserved. The jury was still out on Leah.

As she took a breath, my expression became a passionless stare, raising my eyebrows slightly.

Some epiphany blazed through her mind, and her eyes stared, wide open. "Oh my god!" she almost screamed. We both noticed a few heads turn our way. "You had him..."

"Crippled?" I finished her question with a mouthful of juicy meat, bread, and sauerkraut.

There was a look of terror on her face, trying to equate her mild-mannered former husband with someone who could hire people to hurt another.

"I'm a planner," I said matter-of-factly.

"So, I've become aware." Her sarcasm intensified. "Who are you, really? I'd never and still have trouble believing that you were...are...capable of something like that. Had I known this side of you then, I doubt that I'd ever have considered marrying you. I suppose when a person like me goes so suddenly off the rails, it's..."

"Easy?" I did it again. "Hardly. Not like you're thinking. There was plenty to consider, but in the end, I fell on the side of our kids, even as they had likely forgotten he existed. So there is no mistake, if it had been just you and me, no kids, there would have been hell to pay."

A bit of the juice escaped the side of my mouth, and I wiped it away like a cannibal might.

Leah looked at her plate, picking some of the meat that spilled out the sides of the bread. I expected her to change the subject.

"I see the unintended consequences, too," she went on. "You look healthier, fitter, and more attractive than ever during our marriage. You're different, more confident, speak more directly, less beating around the bush. It's compelling and attractive. Me?" She waved her arm up and down in a long swipe in front of herself, what was now a rather dowdy and flabby persona. Gone was the cute chubbiness that had attracted me, replaced by the weight and wrinkles of a fifty-year-old loner.

"I'll probably have to settle or get lucky. You're a real bastard; I just want you to know." She was getting worked up again.

Despite my calloused heart, I could not bring myself to tell her there was nothing unintended about it. I went a different direction, either to finish my side of our life's sad tale or relieve some deep-rooted burden.

"Save it, Leah. If you're honest, in those alone moments with a glass of wine, you'll agree that your reaction if the situation was reversed would have been equally, if not more, vicious. Who's the bastard?"

"Still, I never said a disparaging word about you to the kids and I have continued to encourage them to remember that you are their mother, regardless of what happened between us." I sat up straight. She made to speak, but I waved her off. "I'm sure they knew," I continued. "As I'm sure they will be relieved that we're finally moving on with our lives - separately. You are planning to move out, right?"

I'd glanced over at a man sitting at the counter, with only a cup of coffee, watching us intently.

"Yes," she stoically said, her business concluded. "I'm leaving right now. Tomorrow, a moving truck will be at the house to collect my belongings and personal items, plus a few pieces of furniture. You can keep living in your damned basement, move upstairs and start living like a normal human, or sell the place. I expect my half, if you do, and I won't allow you to stay there longer than six months unless you buy me out."

Amazing! Just as my drunken father had hardened me and put my emotions in a cement box, I'd done the same to her...she was still telling me what I could or could not do on her way out the door but I decided to let it drop. I suppose callouses were contagious in this instance.

We were done condensing our lives into the metaphorical shoebox. She motioned to the man, who stood and waited about halfway for her. He seemed nonconfrontational.

"I'd say, 'have a nice life,'" she said bitterly, "but I couldn't bring myself to mean it."

"You've already said and done enough," I mumbled, returning to my sandwich.

>>>>

In Lorna's second year as coach, the team hovered around.500 despite her focused efforts. At one practice, the team was just going through the motions when she blew the whistle. Everything stopped as she exploded at their lack of focus, urgency, or commitment.

"Get the hell off my court and don't return until you think you can elevate your level of passion to something resembling winning basketball. If you don't, I'm prepared to recommend to the administration that we drop women's basketball rather than embarrass ourselves further. Go on, get outta here!"

Three days passed and not one player came forward. She lamented to me that she thought she'd made a mistake and she was as miserable as I had ever seen her. I tried to lift her but to no avail, and our love-making was as lackadaisical as their play. That night, after dinner, one of the seniors phoned. They spoke for an hour and a half, at the end of which, she looked at me, kissed me hard and said, "fuck the shit out of me and keep it up until one of us passes out." Needless to say, it was an epic night.

The next day, practice resumed and she drove them hard as always. They never spoke of the hiatus again but it became clear that the three team leaders kicked ass on their own. The turnaround was on and they went 12-2 the rest of the way, just missing winning the conference championship in a double OT. Coach Lorna was on her way!

The next time we were together in the same room with Leah turned out to be Hallie's wedding. Chris was taking his damn sweet time finding the right girl, which I was proud of.

By now, Lorna had given me a son, and we had just agreed to try for another. It was special because Chris and Hallie were over the moon and could not have been happier for us and their new sibling. We were both still considering whether to marry, and my thinking was that if we had another, I would definitely press the issue.

Leah was fifty-three at the time, and as I'd always envisioned, she turned up with a companionly sixty-two-year-old gentleman named Gene.

I almost stopped breathing when Hallie whispered to me during the father-daughter dance, asking me to dance with her mother just once. It took a moment to respond, but I wouldn't ruin my little girl's big day.

"Sweetie, this is YOUR day, and I will do nothing to detract from the wonderful memories you will have of it. Of course...you can count on me."

I walked to Lorna and told her of Hallie's request. "Babe, do it. It's your daughter's wedding day request and I know you'll rise to the occasion." How did I get so lucky?

"You and Lorna look so happy and your son is beautiful. I should be jealous but I want you to know I really am happy for you. I have never seen you so content," Leah quietly said about thirty seconds into the slow song. "She's still my sister, and it could have been worse; you could have shown up with a twenty-something!"

"And Gene seems like a good guy." I ignored her comments, on guard because of the Leah I knew. We weren't going to trade shots at our kid's wedding reception.

"Speaking of..." she said with a sneering grin, "... I finally figured out your plan. I have to hand it to you; you really thought ahead. Way ahead."

"Leah, I..." she cut me off, her smile softening.

"Don't, John," she said. "I just had to say it to make myself feel better and because on reflection, I owed you that. As I've thought about what happened, if I'm honest, the only thing attributable to you was your failure to respond the way I thought you should. I'd say you did the right thing for you and the kids, and good on you. I wish the three of you all the best in the future."

I resisted the snarky rejoinders, reminding myself of my promise to my daughter.

"That's kind of you, Leah, and thanks for the good wishes. At least with our two, we seem to have done well. I hope you are as proud as I am today."

We continued and toward the end, she gently rested her head to my chest as she looped her wrist to the back of my neck. It lasted all of twenty or thirty seconds and the gotcha for which I was on alert, never occurred.

The dance ended and she started toward the bar. Walking away, I stuck my hand in my pocket and felt something that I had brought to give her. I turned and looked back at her as she leaned on the bar waiting, placidly watching me without expression. Reaching her, she looked up, again blankly.

"Here. I thought this might help but check his blood pressure first." With that, I grabbed her hand and put the Cialis in her palm before turning and walking away.

A second later, I felt it whiz past my ear, but I never looked back as a thin smirk creased my lips. What can I say? I'm a planner!