Untraditional Pt. 03 by PumpajPumpajPumpaj on ImageFap.com

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	Untraditional Pt. 03
	To say things hadn't worked out the way I'd hoped was the understatement of a lifetime. Time was my mentor in that revelation but nothing made my choices any better. It had been nearly four years since I watched Rob, my ex-husband, get on that ferry without me. That's why I decided to start writing in a journal. If nothing else, I'd be able to share it with my son, Ikaika, as a life lesson. The way things had worked out in my shitty life, I hadn't even been given a choice of picking my son's name. That was all on his father, my island husband, Puko. My island husband. What a fool I'd been. Puko and I discussed names when I found out I was pregnant, just six weeks after my real-life husband and younger sister left the island for good. We discussed names superficially, I should point out, for about five minutes before he declared, "We will name him Ikaika, after my great-grandfather. It means warrior." I quickly pointed out that the name's true meaning was 'strong,' and Puko just dismissed me. That was one of the first times I saw him for what he was and stared at the mistake I'd made. In all honesty, I'd made plenty. The very first was bringing my husband, Rob, to the island in the first place. I should have taken a month, claiming I needed to visit my family and cultural home, then spent two of Rob's three-month sabbatical with him somewhere warm and romantic, making up for what I'd done regarding the tradition without ever letting him know, and then letting him take his final month visiting his parents while I went back to work. Of course, I'd have completed the ritual with Puko and fulfilled my cultural obligation, and my loving husband would have been none the wiser. I'd have carried the burden of knowledge but I could have done that for Rob. I could've kept my husband, even if I had to spend the rest of my life carrying the guilt of deception. That had been Mother's idea all along, I was just too stupid to listen. For me, the guilt would have been far easier than what came to pass. Rob didn't understand my culture and it wasn't his fault. I understood both cultures, however, and there was only one other person who was just as informed - Puko. When my father fell ill, I returned home for his funeral. Puko was there and he helped me through my grief. He was so much more handsome as a man than what I remembered from our childhood. On the third day after my Father's funeral, Puko talked me into extending my time on the island, backed up by my mother. We spent many a day and evening catching up on our lives and many meals with both families. Both were very close, going back generations. The night I was originally slated to return to my husband in Boston, I drank too much punch and, feeling extremely relaxed, I allowed Puko to take me. He was gentle and kind that first time. I spent the night in his home cuddled up to him. In the morning, the cuddling was the thing that disturbed me and brought on a bout of guilt. Sex was different among the islanders. Carefree and without obligation, or duty. Being back home may have contributed but it was sleeping with Puko that bothered me. I wasn't guilty enough to stop it from happening three more times while there. Finally, two days before I was to leave for home, Puko reminded me of the tradition and said he expected me to complete it with him. I laughed at him, reminding Puko that I had a husband, one of the Western culture who'd never stand for such a thing and certainly would never be able to understand. Upon arriving home, my first worry was that Rob would be able to read me and figure out I'd been unfaithful in our marriage. He didn't however, and I pushed my island fling to the recesses of my mind. I was astounded when Mother reached out to me eight months before Rob and I were scheduled to travel to my home. In the letter, she informed me, not asked me, that Puko was back home and that the solstice ritual needed to be performed. She told me Puko had chosen me. At first, I was smitten with the idea. Puko and I had grown up together on our island and in our culture, which meant far more than in the Western world. Both Puko and my family were of some significance on the island. Members of our families had been leaders - chieftains - going back a very long time. In more modern times, his grandfather and my father had been members of the elders' council. It was only natural that he chose me. But then my thoughts returned to what I'd told Puko a few years earlier and what to do about Rob. My mother addressed it right from the beginning of her letter. Mother didn't beat around the bush, asking how much I loved Rob. I thought that an odd question. I loved him totally - completely. The next bit explained and took me aback. Had we participated in any Western rituals that conflicted with our own? I never even thought about our wedding. That was my first fateful mistake. The more I thought about it in the days leading up to my reply to Mother, I leaned into the idea that Rob would probably not like what needed to be done but, as an intelligent man, he'd understand. Lost and tired in my thoughts, I closed my journal, clasped the lock, and set it in my suitcase. The morning after next, I'd be making my first trip back to the States in four years. Aleki was on a mission to sell more of her art, in Los Angeles, planning to use the money for her upcoming wedding. She'd begged me to go with her as she wanted my help to navigate the large city and pick out a surprise wedding dress. I expected she was getting close to Makana, a young man with whom she spent quite a bit of time. I had my reservations. Los Angeles was a world away from Boston but, in some ways, I felt like I was trespassing on Rob's front lawn. It felt like I was breaking yet another promise. Puko was less than enthusiastic about my trip. At first, he'd refused, saying our son needed me there. When I told him I planned to take Ikaika, he became angry about that, too, and then a day later told me to go ahead. Aleki, Akaika, and I boarded the ferry and waved goodbye. After so long, it felt strange and I was anxious. We spent most of the ride trying to keep my son away from the railing. On the long flight, Ikaika slept, and feeling as though I needed to break the ice on my long-strained relationship with Aleki, I started a superficial conversation. "So," I began somewhat subdued, "which pieces are you presenting this time?" Aleki peered at me out of the corner of her eye. I hated it when she did that. It wasn't a thing, pre-Rob. "I have eleven new works that need to be framed properly and some of those will go on display in Los Angeles at the art gallery on Wilshire Blvd." That was all she offered, as usual, these past few years. I decided as sisters we might as well get some things out in the open if we were going to be spending a week together. "Aleki," I began, facing her and hoping she'd reciprocate. "About Rob." I paused for effect. "I'm sure I've never apologized properly for putting that on you. I truly appreciate what you did to help him back onto his feet. He looked devastated from the minute I returned until..." "No need to apologize," she stated briskly. "Rob was over you long before you returned from the mountain." There it was. Rob had gotten to my young, naïve sister. She'd been drawn in, of course, by his pain but also his bravado, I thought. "Yes," I agreed trying to keep our talk nonconfrontational. "I'm sure he was. He's a good man and I'm positive he's moved on splendidly." Aleki glared at me then she turned and looked out the window, seemingly deep in thought. I picked up a magazine out of the seat back and thumbed through it. When I got to the back, the art section, I saw something that caught my eye. Then I read the footnote. It was one of Aleki's paintings that had sold in New York for over ten thousand dollars. "Is this yours?" I asked, shocked. She just nodded and turned away. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Rob was the least of my concerns at the moment, although my thoughts of him were never far off. I had bigger troubles at home with Puko and if I could play my cards right, I just might be able to kill two birds with one stone. The rest of our travel day was hectic. I'd forgotten how many people were to be found in an international airport. The hustle and bustle there was so far removed from our world on the island that I felt hurried and cramped, and I became anxious. Finally in our hotel, we at a light meal in their restaurant and I had two American beers with dinner. We returned to our rooms, Aleki had paid for two instead of sharing one and that felt odd. It underlined how far we'd drifted apart. I got my son down for bed and stood looking out the slider over the California sunset. A shiver ran through me and I went to turn off the air conditioner. Los Angeles was already too cold for my liking without any help. Laying in bed, my thoughts returned to Rob, which inevitably took my mind back to my current husband. I grabbed my journal and sat in bed with the covers pulled up. "Ikaika was a newborn when Puko's business partner and another friend came to the island. My husband planned to sell his photography studio and reinvest the money in anticipation of becoming an island elder. During the third night, the men sat around the fire pit outside our home as I sat in the living room reading and wanting to give him space to enjoy his friends. I began to hear a conversation as Puko was getting more animated as he talked and I moved to the chair near the window. One of his pals was saying, "So he hit you and you didn't give it back to him?" "No, dipshit," Puko expounded, "I had to be the bigger man for once. There were fifty of my future followers watching. In less than a year I'll be running everything on this island. None of the other council will dare oppose me. I had to show restraint." The other man asked, "So he what? Just left the island?" "Yeah," Puko said proudly. "I mean he finagled a deal to take Mel's younger sister with him for a while. I didn't care." "That's not what I meant," the man continued. "I thought you said the guy was your childhood friend." "Nah," Puko replied in a sickening tone. "I only hung out with him because I sucked at math and science and the little dweeb did my homework for me. When I returned to the island and figured out he was married to Mele, I knew I'd take her from him." Just then, all of them turned due to the squeaky screen door opening. I glared at Puko as I hated him at that moment. He gave a sheepish grin and said "What?" Later that night, Puko wanted sex. I knew what he really wanted and that was for his friends to hear what a great man he was, through our home's thin walls. I was disgusted with him for what he'd said. I told him to go have sex with his buddies, which almost earned me a slap in the face. After his colleagues left the island, I caught a ration from Puko, him threatening me, demanding 'Didn't I know who he was?' I laughed menacingly, telling him I was starting to figure out exactly who he was. Then I took Ikaika to my mother's and we spent the night. Life was frosty for several days with Puko finally apologizing and saying he didn't mean anything. He was drunk. I knew better. For weeks, I reflected on my part in the end of my marriage - my entire relationship - with Rob. It occurred to me that I was just in guilty as Puko in the blatant disrespect of Rob and his feelings. That caused me a six-month bout of depression, constantly wishing I wouldn't have been so cruel to Rob. By that time, it was clear to me that I shouldn't have ever brought Rob to the island. What I couldn't yet admit was that I should never have agreed to the solstice ritual in the first place. I slept fitfully that night, dreaming of the days immediately after returning to the village from the mountain cabin. Aleki was certainly in her element at the art gallery. She'd been traveling back to the US almost every six months, sharing her art. I thought back to the plane magazine. I had no idea she'd become famous. In many ways, I was proud of her, even though the two of us were so different. After showing a few more works and agreeing with the owner of the gallery which would be displayed for sale, Aleki was handed another five-figure check. At least one of us was doing well. Later that evening, I thought about my life in America. Then I grabbed my journal again. My life changed when mom and dad decided to send me to live with my aunt at the age of fourteen. Aunt Enele was steady and wise. Her name meant wisdom, so fitting. She was the kind of woman who would never answer you directly, rather pausing and choosing her words carefully, especially if it was a teachable moment. Enele embodied most of the traits my mother lacked. I looked up to her in almost every way. The way she carried herself made me want to learn from her, to pay her all of my attention. She helped me understand the West and she guided me through my teen years and high school. It was a far cry from my island childhood. In college, I met Rob. He impressed me in many ways. First and foremost, he was a simple man - kind, humble, and easy-going. He reminded me so much of the islanders - my people. He made me feel both safe and comfortable. When I accepted his marriage proposal, my father was quite happy. I think he saw it as a culmination of my time in the United States. Mother, on the other hand, seemed standoffish, angry even. She didn't outwardly show her feelings, it was just something I saw on her face at the wedding and after. Rob and I had a plan for everything - another thing I loved about our life together. We decided to work hard in our careers and hold off on having children for the following eight to ten years. Our lives together in Boston were beyond bliss. Rob's parents - adoptive - had moved quite some distance but we still saw them once during the summer and the holidays. Life was exquisite until my father died. The next few days went by in a rush. Ikaika and I accompanied Aleki to two more galleries where to my surprise, she also purchased some art. When we weren't doing business, the three of us swam and played at the hotel pool. Aleki was great with Ikaika, reminding me of my Aunt Enele. I was pleased that during our time, Aleki's position or maybe her idea of me changed. We had some really nice conversations about her art. Only once, when she was discussing a piece she'd recently sold in Boston, did Rob come into the conversation. "So, you've seen him recently?" I weakly asked. "Yes, Mele," she said with her trademark sigh. "We've seen each other often, truth be told." She seemed to have more to say but held it. "How is he?" I was prying and she knew. "Damn, I've been thinking of him since we got here." That earned me a strange look. "He's doing well. We've remained close friends despite the distance." "Is he remarried?" I could see I'd crossed a line, but I had to know. "Not yet," she said with bated breath. "I think it may be soon, though." "I wish I could see him," Where had that come from? "Just once more." My sister actually smiled at that. "Why? Because you want to unload your guilt or is it because there's trouble in paradise? I seriously doubt he'd see you anyway." That felt like a slap in the face. My anger and defensiveness rose quickly but I caught myself. "Neither." she saw through me, I could tell. "Mele," she turned toward me, sitting on her legs. "There's something I've always wanted to ask you. I know our relationship has been... strained since I went to Boston with Rob so I never did. When exactly did you decide to complete the ritual?" It was a question I'd been expecting for a long time by then. "I've tried to answer that to myself for some time. To be completely honest, I think I knew when I was home for Dad's funeral. We discussed it - Puko and I - and I'd like to say I brushed it off, maybe convinced myself it was just a fantasy and the day would never come. I always thought Rob would..." "No, you didn't," she interrupted. "You knew better. There's no way you could marry him, live together for nearly nine years, and not know." I looked slightly away, embarrassingly. She was right and we both knew it. That indisputable fact did not put me in a good light. "What was Mother's role in the whole sorry thing?" she kept prying. "She told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would perform the ritual," I said. "Still, we both know I could have... no, should have said 'no'." Aleki turned away and looked out the balcony slider over the city lights. "You, Mother, and Puko - all of you - almost destroyed a good man. You understand that much, Mele, right?" I nodded. There weren't any other words. Aleki told me good night and headed to her room. I had no desire to write in my journal that night but I'd had a long overdue conversation with my sister. The following day, I went along with Aleki to pick out a wedding dress. I was surprised by the fact that she was going for an American dress with almost no ties to our island customs. At least she was going cream and not white. She asked for and considered my opinions on the three she liked. Ikaika was starting to act up, probably so unused to being away from home. That night, we ordered room service and Aleki hung her new dress in the closet. She was beaming and it reminded me of my American wedding. "Is that a surprise for Makana?" I asked, still curious about her choice. Aleki looked at me warily. "This isn't for Makana," she sighed. "Why would you ask that?" Now I was surprised. "Aren't you two getting married?" I was confused. "I thought you two were getting close. Mom thought so. Wait, if you're not marrying him why the dress?" "Mele," she sat next to me. "Makana is a wonderful friend. He's marrying his girl but that girl isn't me. I've spent time with him trying to help him with his art, showing him how to sell it, here and elsewhere. His pottery is amazing." She sat there letting things sink in. "My dear sister," she continued as if she were the older one. "When was the last time that you and I spoke about anything meaningful?" "It's been... a while," I knew exactly what she meant. "I've been so busy with Ikaika and with Puko. Life hasn't been wonderful for me. Last night you asked why I did what I did to Rob and you also asked why I wanted to see him again. The truth is, I love him and I miss him. The mistakes I made were horrific and I know that. I'm sure he'd never believe me if I told him how I felt. Puko isn't the man I hoped he'd be. Then again, both Mother and Puko promised me they'd do everything in their power to make sure I left the island with Rob after, well, everything." Aleki's face went stone-cold. "You can't be serious!" she shouted, then remembered her nephew was sleeping. "God, you're either evil or stupid. I can't believe it." "It doesn't matter now," I tried to diffuse the situation. "Tomorrow, we return home and I'll never see him again. It's back to the life I chose. I can't even say 'stupidly' chose anymore because it is so damned self-serving. I destroyed my mana with the man I loved and the mana between Puko and I soured instead of blossoming." "Mele," Aleki reached for and grabbed my hand. "You're going home. Home to your husband - that you chose. Home to mother, a woman you listened to at your peril." There was an uncomfortable built-up pause. I held my breath without realizing it. "I'm going to Boston," she said and then I saw the pity. God no! Don't say it! "Rob and I are getting..." "NO!!" I wailed. A moment later Ikaika awakened and began crying. Aleki headed to her room and left me, a broken sobbing woman, with my son. >>>> It's been a while since I've written anything here. My life has been so boring and mundane that I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Mostly, it's because I know who's responsible for where I am. My wonderful son, Ikaika, just turned nine. He's the true love of my life. I haven't lain with my husband, Puko, as man and wife for two years, at least. That has been his choice, not mine. My real reason for resuming my journal is twofold. Mother is now infirmed. We don't use or much care for Western medicine here. When our citizens become old, they slow down and eventually, as they get weaker, they know it's time. That's where Mother is now. So, Aleki is coming home, much as I did when Father died. It's been five years since I've seen my sister, Aleki. She's become somewhat of a celebrity on our tiny island. Hell, she's become somewhat of a celebrity around the world - the art world that is. Rob was a beneficiary of her new-found celebrity, as Aleki had described it. His biological father, a Mr. Dufort had found him through association with my sister. He didn't want a happy reunion though. He met with Rob to pay him off in exchange for never mentioning being his son. I found that to be cruel, but then I had to look in the mirror. Aleki said it was a lot of money. I have to learn how to deal with this jealousy. When my parents sent me to live with my aunt at fourteen, I always thought I'd be the one entering our island harbor on the ferry with everyone down there, dockside, cheering, covering me with leis, showering me with attention and admiration. The sad thing is, that did happen once, for a brief moment, and I pissed it all away. Aleki had shown and sold her art on the international stage. One piece that used to reside in a junk shed on the island now fetched a cool one-point-five million or better at auctions. In the five years she'd been on the mainland, my sister's art had fetched a cool ten million, or better. She's on her way here with her family. Family. The word often stabbed like biting down on sugar cane with an exposed nerve. Part of Aleki's wonderful family used to be mine. How am I going to face her and Rob and their two children with dignity? Children are innocent. They'll see right through my counterfeit smile and phony expression when I'm looking at two kids who will have my family's blood and Rob's blood. They'll remind me of what our kids would have looked like and I'll have to pretend to love them like family because they are. More than anything, I need Rob to forgive me. I think if I can hear him say the words, then I can truly begin to forgive myself. It's long overdue nine years down the road. Puko could never be the man Rob was. His love is divided between his only son and his power over the villagers as the head of the council. The worst thing is how incredibly irritable he's become due to Rob's and my sister's return. He was no picnic before that. I was interrupted by the screen door slamming. Shoving the journal between my mattress and box spring, I went to see what the intrusion was about. "Puko," I said sounding surprised even though he still lived with me. "What's the matter?" "Nothing's the matter," a standard response. "I'm going to need your help. The solstice celebration occurs in four weeks. It's your sister's turn." "No, Puko," I knew what he meant. "Don't even think that. Haven't we had enough misery around that archaic clusterfuck? Besides, the council excused her from participating, you know that. She's here to see our mother through her final days, nothing more." "Listen to me," Puko got right into my face. "You're my wife and I expect you to act like it. That council nine years ago, they... were railroaded by a sweet-talker. I'm in charge now." There was no talking to him when he got like this - mean and combative. It felt like some of my American girlfriends described when living with an alcoholic except Puko didn't often drink. His highs were power and control. I knew that most of the island community was well past the traditions of old, especially after the spectacle that Rob and I created almost a decade ago. Puko seemed fixated on returning to or staying with the many traditions. Personally, I believe that he used those customs to maintain some of his control and swagger. There was no way I'd support him in his endeavor, not that I'd argue it yet, not until Rob and Aleki were here. I knew that Rob could outsmart Puko but that also made me worry for Rob's safety as well as my sister's. I cared for Mother most days leading up to the arrival. She was waiting, too, it seemed. Watching the ferry arrive, it was easy to go back in time and see myself debarking that ship with Rob. The memory was one of happier times but deep down, I had known what I was about to subject my husband to. That tarnished the memory and the feeling. This was different. Rob and Aleki waved, Rob, holding their four-year-old son, Steven, and Aleki with their newborn, Sarah. The baby was still a month shy of her first birthday. Puko's amateur photographers were ignored, perhaps even disrespected as Aleki had an entire crew with her. In her last letter, she'd warned me that either NatGeo or the BBC was going to arrive with them as both networks wanted to do a documentary on her life. I was asked to make sure there were accommodations for a crew of four. I looked over at my husband as the film crew staged their landing and the happy family came ashore. He was as mad as I've ever seen him but he quickly rallied, waving off his friends with cameras. I ran to Aleki and hugged her tightly. I'd missed her tremendously. Rob stood back a step or two until we broke our embrace. There was a tension there. He wasn't sure whether to shake my hand or hug me. Finally, we both shrugged at the same time and I rushed in for a sisterly hug. Truth be told, for me, it was the highlight of my year. He was leaner than nine years ago and his familiar smell filled my nostrils like the blooming Plumerias. I suddenly realized the embrace was longer than appropriate and I quickly stepped back. Aleki, the same free spirit she always had been, asked where Mother was. Of course, she was the only person missing from the welcome wagon. When I told her at home in bed, she held Sarah out to me. "Her name is Sarah," she said. "Take her and get acquainted please." Puko stepped forward for a brotherly hug and Aleki walked quickly past him, heading to Mother's house. He'd been dismissed twice in just a few moments, in front of his 'subjects' and an international film crew. To his credit, he shook it off and approached Rob. "Rob," he said without emotion, as he opened his arms. "It's good to see you." I held my breath. "Jon," Rob said, stepping forward and extending his hand to my husband. This was going to be interesting, to say the least. Rob and Aleki stayed in the same cabin we'd been assigned almost ten years ago. The film crew stayed three houses down, closer to the beach. Their children were lovely, everything I'd expected. Aleki spent most of her time with Mother. Rob, on the other hand, was respectful only to the point necessary. He'd seen Mother that first day, saying all the right things, and then he stayed clear, caring for his children and getting reacquainted with the villagers. He'd be there on Mother's last day as expected. We ate meals together. Rob was uncharacteristically quiet with the family. Puko filled the void, bragging about the island and all he'd done for the good of all. On the seventh day, Aleki was spending the morning with Mother and the kids. Steven and Sarah would have but faint memories in the end but it helped Mother get her mind off the inevitable end. I saw Rob talking to the fishermen. They laughed and joked. Rob was cleaning a yellowfin tuna, looking like the novice he was. I sat in the sand and watched them, letting my mind wander to what had been and what could have been. The next thing I knew he was walking my way. "Hello, Mel," I almost melted, hearing the long-forgotten nickname. Then he reached for my hand in a friendly gesture to help me to my feet. He didn't let go either, heading in the direction of the mountain path. I almost wet my panties. The walk was quiet and carefree as we meandered along. I was thinking desperately of something epic to say. "Rob, I..." "Shh," he cut me off delicately. "There's no need for that." "I think there is," I said, almost begging. "I need to tell you I'm sorry. I made horrible choices and I wish I could take them all back. I know I can't but I'm hoping someday you can find the grace to forgive me." Rob raised an eyebrow as he stopped walking and stared at me. I think I did wet my pants a little bit then. "Mel," he almost whispered. "You're forgiven." There was a long pause as he let that sink in. "I should be thanking you," he continued. "I mean at the time, I should have strangled you." He chuckled at himself. He was so damned cute in his way. "Without your... planned indiscretion, Aleki and I wouldn't have the perfect life we do. I love my life and my family. I'm not willing to hold a grudge forever, Mel. As far as your asshole husband, I'll never offer the same deal." That was more than fair to me. He wasn't done though. "Mel, we're here for your mother but we're also here to make a major announcement to the entire community. Aleki has done very well for herself. I've helped her invest her money. We have more than enough of it." He remained quiet and we began to walk again. I wondered what he meant but I kept my mouth shut. This was his show. "We plan to modernize the island a bit," he said. "Nothing that will upset the village but many others here, like Makana, need the ability... an easier way to come and go from this place. It's our hope and desire to help improve that without totally modernizing this place." I knew what he meant. I didn't have to ask for specifics because I was one of those people. Nodding, I said, "There are some things you need to know." We arrived at a clearing. Rob started laughing, hard. "What?" I curiously inquired. "This place," he waved around. "Did you know..." he was thinking of how to tell me something. I sat down but he remained standing. "The day after..." he thought about it. "I was still feeling the effects of whatever you used to put me to sleep. Moana and Aleki were there. Made me breakfast and your Mother went right into the whole sad story. I yelled and cursed. She sent Aleki home. Then she gave me a letter I thought was from you and a bunch of books to read. She wanted me to study island traditions like some fucking schoolkid." He realized he was louder and disparaging Mother. "Anyway," he went on. "As soon as she left, I headed up here. She'd warned me there were guards along the path. I didn't care. This is the spot where we fought. Actually..." he chuckled again. "This is where I lost the biggest fight of my life, in record time." That thought choked him up. It was no longer funny. This wonderful man walked into something he knew was going to physically hurt him to save me. No... not to save me but to stop me from making a very big mistake. He came to save us. All the familiar feelings of the past came flooding over me. I knew them all too well and I wasn't going to start sobbing after all this time. I owed Rob more than that so I stuffed them back down into my gut. "Did you at least get in a few punches?" I asked with a half-smile. "Ah, yeah... I think. I'm pretty sure they went light on me and pulled their punches but I still hurt for a week." He hadn't been expecting my reaction. "Rob," I said lovingly. "Sit down." I patted the ground in front of me so I could look him in the eye. "Puko plans to..." I almost changed my mind. "He plans to springboard off of Mother's death to set up another Ke Ala polohiwa a Kanaloa. He plans to push for Aleki as the last female available for the ritual." Rob looked astounded. "What the hell are you talking about? There's no way!" "I know," I assured him. "There is no way but he's still going to push. We haven't celebrated the equinox since... well, nine years ago. The other villagers, the blood of former chieftains, mostly have male offspring. Mother's family is the last in a line directly related to Kane himself." "Why would he do that?" I think he already knew to answer or surmised it. "He's a bastard," I said sighing. "Life with him has been unbearable. There's nothing hidden in that statement. I made my choices. He loves his first-born son and he loves having the power that the head of the council enjoys." Rob tilted his head and stared. I knew that look after so many years and it was like a knife to the side. He didn't trust me. He had no reason to. I stared back with as honest a gaze as I could muster. He seemed to consider something. "You said his first-born," he left it hanging. "Rob," I said, "I haven't been intimate with Puko for over two years. There's a variety of reasons for that but let's just say there are plenty of children on this island who share Puko's and Ikaika's looks. I'm stupid but not that stupid." Rob stared at me, dumbfounded. "I'm going to invoke the council, Mel. Aleki and I have discussed how to do it. We'll need the entire village on our side. Change is difficult even when it's in everyone's best interest." I regarded his plan. "Puko will put up a fight." "I hope so," Rob smiled like he had insider information. I hoped he and Aleki knew what they were doing. He helped me to my feet and we headed back. Dear journal, Mother died today. It's been eleven days since my sister and Rob arrived so everyone had plenty of time to say the important stuff. Now, on my island prison, I'm truly alone, aside from my son. That's something I plan to rectify very soon. I'm ashamed to write this. On a day that I should be mourning the loss, my head has been filled with thoughts of Rob. Thoughts of happier times and, if I'm brutally honest, thoughts of what could have been. I know they are just fantasies. I'd never try to steal my own sister's man - my man. Tomorrow night, in accordance with our traditions, we'll celebrate her life with a feast. There will be dancing and the elders will share stories with the children of Moana's family's long contributions on the island. Some will be folklore but much of it will be true. My life, by my own doing, has become something I'm no longer prepared to accept. I write this on the chance that Ikaika someday reads it. I want my son to understand my thinking but moreover, the horrible things I've done that perpetuated them can serve as a life warning. With my mana weakened - compromised, even - soon, I'll make the changes that bring my mana back into balance at the expense of others. I hope that someday, I can overcome the guilt and the sadness of what I've done. I long for it. The funeral was hard on me. I remembered my Father's own, those days immediately afterward, I'd spent with Puko, and how he'd helped me through the loss. That man was but a shadow of his former self now. I finally realized that was my first major mistake - not taking my husband, Rob, to the island with me for the funeral. I'd made plenty since but no more. The festival of life, a grand luau with dancing and libations - unusual for one of these types of functions - was in full swing. The entire community was there as well as some of the people from the other side of the island. Aleki's film crew had been asked - or probably told - knowing my sister, to stay low-key and be respectful. I sat at our version of a head table, a semi-circle picnic-type table, with a podium separating another semi-circle table where all the elders sat. Words were spoken. Reverence was displayed and some cried. The children ran around and played with the others. With all that, my mind was focused on Rob. Sitting with him on the mountain path, up close, I noticed he'd bulked up since I'd last seen him. When he and Aleki had first arrived, I passed it off as weight gain and getting older. The truth was, Rob had been doing something very right. His upper body was bigger and his leg muscles were taught, like a runner or a lifter. The last of the elders was finishing his kind remarks and Puko stood, I figured to make some lackluster speech about Mother. Before he could start though, Rob had gotten out of his chair and was banging his cutlery on the wooden bowl in his other hand. "Ah rum," he cleared his throat as the crowd turned to him. "Aleki and I want to acknowledge all of the kind words and for you being here to celebrate the passing of a good woman." Puko gave him a look of disgust and then sat down. He'd been upstaged for the third time since Rob came to the island. "Aleki and I have some good news," he continued, "as a tribute of sorts to Moana. As you may know, Aleki has become quite successful through her passion for art. We would like to announce some donations we've made to help the community here but tonight is not the night for that." Rob paused, "Makemake au Ho o'ponopono Kupuna" He said righteously. "We wish for the entire village to hear our wonderful news before the council." Aleki had been holding his hand the entire time, supporting him like a good wife. The thought of that made me shiver. Puko once again stood as Rob took his seat. "Moana was a great woman. The tradition of her family carries on through the ages. The council will be happy to hear your request to donate. It sounds like a noble and just thing considering your wife is her daughter." Puko was playing with a deck of deuces and he knew it. I could tell how he masked his distaste for Rob. He stayed out drinking with his childish friends long after the celebration ended. Dear Journal: The funeral and luau confirmed what I've known for a long time. Again, son, if you're reading this, it is for your own benefit and understanding. Comparing Puko and Rob side-by-side, it's apparent just what an incredible and tragic mistake I made. I can't wish it hadn't happened because then I wouldn't have my beautiful son, Ikaika. Tomorrow, at the council hearing, if my husband tries to diminish Rob in any way, I'll intervene on his behalf as I should have so very long ago. By the end of the month, I'll be staying on Maui and looking for work. Even I have had enough punishment after so many years. The fire roared as the villagers assembled. Rob seemed nervous as Aleki appeared to be coaching him to address the community. Puko seemed cocky and arrogant as usual, while the rest of the council spoke softly among themselves off to one side. I took my customary space in the inner circle, opposite the council next to Aleki and the children. Rob stood with Aleki's prompting and the others took their places and paid their attention to him. "Members of the Kupuna, family, and all others," he began. "If there are a few things I know, it's how confusing customs and traditions can be and how hard it is for people to change." Rob stopped and took a breath, letting everyone consider what he'd said. "Aleki and I have been blessed by the gods. Blessed with great riches. We wish to share those blessings with you. With the council's permission, we propose these things: One. We wish to purchase a newer, more reliable communication tower on Emae Island. This will allow people here and on three other islands to establish links to the rest of the world without traveling great distances. Two. We wish to hire more people and boats to offer ferry service three days per week." Rob paused again as people were looking at one another. I could tell he wasn't sure if what he said sank in. I was just about to explain in the island language when Aleki beat me to it. When she finished, she nodded at her husband, for him to continue. "Three," Rob said. "We wish to donate to the community for a grand lodge, built for visitors, but in the absence of visitors, it can be used for community purposes." Aleki explained now as a translator. Puko stirred in his spot, trying to appear patient. "All of this, we wish to give you," he took one more deep breath. "If you will accept it." There was plenty of stammering and muffled discussion. It sounded positive. "And," Rob finished. "You must vote to put an end to Ke Ala polohiwa a Kanaloa. The tradition is outdated. The last of those generations sit right here among you." Rob remained standing as the temperature around the inner and outer circles changed. Puko saw the opportunity before him. He quickly stood, shouting for all to listen. "How very generous," he waved towards us with a mocking tone. "To bring our island into the modern Western culture and trade our happiness in the process. Who benefits from this? Is it only Aleki and her husband? Why wait until Moana is gone to the spirits to announce this? I'll tell you brothers because she would have opposed it." He sneered viciously at Rob. "All we have to do is displease our gods by denying our long-held traditions. As your leader, I will not stand for it. Give us money to improve the community as is but there will be no expansion, no additional ferries." The rumbling was louder now. The elders caucused, now with Puko leading the conversation. My husband turned quickly and addressed Aleki. He spoke in our language. "Where is your mana, sister? Have you lost it in the Western world? Why do you let this outsider speak for you? Why do you turn your back on your people?" I was about to interject again but my sister stood and whispered into Rob's ear. She was translating what Puko had said, belittling him further. The expression on Rob's face turned to an evil smile. "Where is your mana?" he addressed all in attendance, both inner and outer circles. "Does this fat, arrogant man speak for all of you? Has he been anointed your king? Is he a god? A god of his own making?" I shuddered at the words. Puko would not tolerate the disrespect. He literally couldn't. Rob continued even as Puko made to speak over him. "We do not say to stop your solstice celebration. Continue the tradition, but no more of the Ke Ala polohiwa a Kanaloa. Look about. Your offspring will travel beyond this place. Do you wish to subject them and their wives and husbands to that ancient and degrading practice?" While many of those who spoke English explained to those around them, Puko seemed to be deep in thought. He was losing his control over what appeared to be half the villagers. "Rob," he announced. "The village has spoken. We do not want your donation. You will leave tomorrow. Aleki will stay and perform her family duties at the solstice." That caused an uproar among the attendees that even I didn't expect. Puko was right about one thing, the community was split right down the middle. Aleki once again whispered to her husband and then took her seat. "It looks like," he waved out over the crowd, "many here do not agree with you, Jon." "I propose a challenge!" Rob spoke up loudly. "I challenge you for the right." Puko was now smiling, too. He wasn't stupid, though. His mind was racing to determine any downside to a challenge. Kai, one of the elders was pulling on his leg, almost begging him to sit down and discuss it with the rest, as per the law and tradition. "I accept your challenge!" Puko announced. "When I win, you will leave this island and never return. Aleki will be assimilated back into her culture. Your offspring will be cared for by a midwife and their mother. I will accept the fatherly duties and restore their mana." He completely ignored Aleki's place in the global community, no longer the daughter of our small island. It was clear he didn't care. The real shock, recalling his revelations to those men I'd overheard that night, was that he was intent on again taking from Rob his wife, my sister, as if she was something to be bartered. The bile rose within me, stark with the realization of what may happen if he defeated Rob. Aleki looked horrified as I'm sure I did. The disturbance within the onlookers did not die off. My sister looked at Rob with pleading eyes, concerned for her fate. Rob only nodded his assurance. "And," he said, addressing all, "when I win, the tradition will be broken. You will leave the council and, if you cause anyone of these people a problem, I'll remove you from this island myself." I'd never seen Puko so smug, not even when he was fucking me on that mountain. People in the outer circle made way, giving the combatants room. Rob pulled his shirt over his head and I saw the lean toned muscles. I think Puko was so enraged that he missed it. The two men moved further out onto the soft deep sand. "I'm going to kick your fucking ass, Rob," Puko barked with a smile. "Just like old times. I'm going to enjoy this." Rob said nothing, seeming to steady himself with some deep breaths in and out. Puko rushed him. Pa-pow! His signature one-two punch. Rob was quickly on his backside looking up but not bleeding, yet. It happened fast, but right as Puko was attacking, I heard Ikaika scream, "Kill him, Father!" My mouth flew open but then little four-year-old Steven waddled up to Ikaika and pushed him from behind as small children do. I was so astonished at my son's next move. I almost didn't grab his arm in time. He was about to punch the little guy. "Ikaika!" I yelled and wrapped him up in my arms as I went to my knees. I looked at Aleki and she'd seen it, too. Rob curled or contorted his body, one leg under his ass, then sprang the other out and straight up. His kick didn't contact Puko but it did make him take one step back. The villagers looked on in confusion and awe. Rob began into what looked like a ritual fighting dance - weight on one leg, the other trailing a semi-circle in the sand with the ball of his foot. His arms moved from side to side as his body moved at right angles to itself. I'd seen this before. When Rob and I were married, I remember seeing it on one of the UFC channels. Some sort of Brazilian, I didn't remember, maybe karate. I do remember it looked so out of place for a fighting style. More like break-dancing. Puko stepped in looking to attack. He was all brawn. Rob easily side-stepped him. A jab to the face, a foot to the side of the head, another punch to the lung. He'd step back only to be met with one of Rob's long legs. Still, he persisted. Puko was older but still a solid specimen. After another five minutes, Puko didn't look so confident. Rob was slowly, methodically picking him apart with arms, hands, feet, and calves. After receiving a heel to the solar plexus, he staggered back catching his breath. "Come on, Jon," Rob taunted. "The big pudgy savage looks tired. You disappoint me, Brah." Puko seemed determined but also knew he needed to change his strategy. He took one deep breath, watching Rob's footwork and charging at the right moment, caught him flat-footed. Both men sailed through the air. If not for the sand, Rob would have been concussed. As it was, he was stunned as his head hit the sand hard. Puko immediately began a barrage of punches to the face. I couldn't look but I had to. Rob was desperately trying to defend himself but Puko's punches were so forceful that Rob was getting hit in the face with his own arms. Finally, I saw his hand go out to the side and, grabbing a fistful of sand, threw it in Puko's face. As Puko instinctively moved back slightly Rob's knee came up hard into his balls. Then, a hard strike to Puko's throat made him roll off and away. Rob quickly got to his feet, his face resembling a rocket attack. "Get up, you fat fuck!" he demanded. Puko got to one knee, holding his throat with one hand and his testicles with the other. I stood up, ready to address the people but Puko had one more go in him, launching himself up and toward Rob. Rob was ready for him, though. The roundhouse and the momentum sent Puko flying to one side, face-down in the sand. I found my voice, finally. "Is this your leader?" I yelled with a vengeance in our language. "Has my village lost its mana?" Aleki joined me as Rob was still taunting Puko to get up. The people had been stunned and those questions dragged them out of their reverie. They began looking at each other. "Aloha!" I said, raising my arm into the air. A few others mimicked me. Then the chant began in earnest. "Aloha! Aloha!" They raged in anger. Needless to say, they weren't using the word to say 'hello'. >>>> Much happened over the next few days. Jon was removed from the council. I no longer called him Puko. Kai was nominated and later voted in as the council leader. Three men took Jon up onto the mountain to help him restore his mana. He'd be there a while. As the ferry pulled away from the docks, Aleki, Rob, and I, along with the children waved to the villagers who were there to see us off. It wasn't quite as big a number but so what? "Where are we going, Mother?" Ikaika asked, a look of concern on his young face. "To find our mana, son," I told him, smiling at Aleki. I looked at Rob. He seemed happy, yet puffy. "Thank you, Rob." "For what?" he asked looking at me. "For what you did," I told him sincerely. "How'd you learn to fight like that?" "Oh," he chuckled, "Four years of Capoeira. It started to just keep me in shape. I need it with this one." He pulled Aleki in close to him. I knew what he meant. A temporary twinge of jealousy overcame me. I know my sister picked up on it. I was heading into the unknown to start a new life by myself. Thankfully, I had my boy. Rob and Aleki had it all figured, by contrast. For once, I didn't immediately think, 'That should be me.' That ship had sailed long before the one we stood upon. I was finally happy for the two of them. They deserved the happiness. Epilogue: Dear diary: The day I left for Maui, I was afraid. Afraid my life was over, afraid that there was more penance to pay, afraid the gods would never allow me to balance my mana. In two years, I've found meaningful work in my field. Ikaika made friends, and those friends have relatives who do scuba tours for mainlanders. It pays good money and he's found something he loves. Getting him away from Jon has been a godsend. Life truly does go on. I still felt the pangs of loneliness. That was until six months ago when I met Mark. He's in international finance and does quite well for himself. I told him about my life - the whole truth - on our third date. He'd been burned by a gold-digging ex-wife so I knew I had to come clean if we were to have any chance at all. I wanted that chance because I really liked him. Mark didn't reciprocate after my confession. I often found him aloof or looking at me strangely. Of course, I knew what he was thinking. Less than a month after I told him my tale of woe, we went our separate ways. My mana seemed to have abandoned me. Emae Island has seen its share of improvements. Some of the villagers from my island have moved there and they tell me it's been nicknamed 'Little Hawai'i'. I'm headed home this week. Alone. I've come to realize that I won't ever get my life back on track in terms of another meaningful relationship if I don't make amends. I plan to petition the council and ensure, to the best of my abilities, that the Polohiwa a Kanaloa will never be performed again. My son is my pride and joy and we're lucky he has thrived given the travails. Aleki and I are not as close as I'd like but we care for each other as sisters and that is fine by me. The constant reminder of my behavior so long ago is seeing her, Rob, and their children. Seeing Rob still churns feelings deep within me although I know there will never be a second act between us. He'd told me upon his return to the island that I was forgiven but I can sense that isn't true. It never will be and I've come to accept that. How could it, after what I'd done to him? I no longer blame Mother, Puko, or even a stupid tradition. I've also come to understand that I have to reflect on that part of my life, move forward, and do better. After all, that was the entire point laid out by our ancestors in strengthening our mana, something I and some of the other villagers lost sight of along the way.

	Posted on : Apr 14, 2025

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