"Mr. Wilson," he cleared his throat. "A jury of your peers has found you guilty. Despite the fact this incident happened in your own home, the use of excessive force has been determined. I'm truly sorry for the cruel so-called prank perpetuated upon you and I hope that your time in prison will be reflective. I hope you learn to control your temper which has been on display in other instances so that you may become a productive member of society. I hereby sentence you to one year in the state penitentiary."
He smacked the gavel and that was that.
I did learn to control my temper during the very first week in the pen. My cellmate took me under his wing. He was a lifer who'd killed his wife and her lover in the marital bed so I think he had a soft spot for me. I got a crash course on when, how, and where to use my pent-up rage. The others soon learned that of all the 'fresh meat,' I probably wasn't worth the effort.
I had served exactly fifty-four days in the county lock-up during the trial. That should come off the back end of the one-year sentence, Mr. Turnis told me. He gave me the option to appeal but, under the circumstances, I was already broke; best to just serve my time.
I was there almost two months when Hailey finally visited. I didn't expect to ever see her again since she'd learned that I let the house payments go. I expected her to make an offer on it, paid for by her folks. What she came to say was beyond anything I could have guessed.
"Ham, there's no point beating around the bush," she began. "I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby!"
I guess my nonreaction gave her the ammunition to continue. "Isn't it wonderful, baby? We're gonna be parents and you'll be out in plenty of time to connect with our child."
"Whose baby is it?" I asked with a blank stare. She returned to look.
"What the hell are you talking about?" she regained her composure and went on offense. "I just told you! I haven't fu... had sex with anyone else, you bastard!"
"Not buying it," I coldly stated. Hailey began to cry fake tears.
"What happened to you, Ham?" she cried out. "You're breaking my heart!"
I just sat there looking at the blank wall. Finally, Hailey got up and moved toward the door. "Ham, I need you to find a way to make the house payments. We need a place to live, now more than ever. Talk to your parents, please."
I got word to my attorney instead. When I told him what my supposed loving wife said, he shook his head. "Did she tell you how far along she is?"
"Didn't ask, didn't care."
"What do you want to do?" he asked grimly.
"I want her tested as soon as possible. Get me the name of a divorce attorney."
"Ron," he put his hand on my shoulder in a fatherly fashion. "You can't even afford to pay my bill and you don't know if you'll have your job when you get out. How about I pull up the forms online, fill them out, add an extra hour to your bill, and you try to get her to sign? I can certainly draw documents for paternity."
Prison overcrowding is a thing even in Louisiana. Surprising but I wasn't looking a gift horse in the mouth. I was released after serving three months plus my fifty-four days, I guess. The only drawback was that I had to wear the ankle bracelet for the first two months of probation.
It was sheer luck that I was released when I was. Five days later, the bank would have changed the locks on the house. Hailey pretended to be all loving and relieved that I was home. My first order of business was to talk to my cousin after sending Hailey for a pizza.
He told me that the money from my second account only covered about ninety percent of the total mortgage arrears, minus the interest. He'd have to chip in if I wanted to save the house. I quickly agreed.
When Hailey returned, we sat and ate quietly.
"We're going to lose the house," I acted sad about it. "I found out today."
"I don't want to talk about anything tonight," she said with false hope. "We can deal with the fallout of this mess tomorrow. Tonight, after dinner, all I want is to make love to my husband. It's been too long."
She was sure full of surprises. I knew that she got the mail and had been previously notified by Turnis to expect the notice about paternity.
"Hailey," I looked at her like I didn't even know her. "I know you received the notice. We won't be having any sex until I see the results that say it's my kid."
Hailey stammered and whined. She cried out that I was being cruel. She was pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it. I was starting to see through the acting job and it made me sick. Then, I thought about my cellmate and his teachings. The chair flew out behind me as I shot up in anger.
"Leave me alone!" my hands made fists at my side. "When I see the results, then we can talk about our future, and not before."
Hailey turned white and her feet were moving toward our bedroom before her gaze even left mine. Later I went to open the bedroom door and she yelled out, "Sleep on the couch!"
The next day, after Hailey left for work, or whatever she was up to nowadays, I called the bank on the heels of my cousin making the payment. I wanted the payoff amount.
Then, I found a realtor, Mrs. Alice Burnes, who came over in the early afternoon. Whatever kind of monster Hailey had become, she still kept a spotless house. We'd make a little more than the house was worth, by maybe thirty grand, maybe a bit less, but I'd be able to pay Mr. Turnis, so it was good enough for me.
I asked the realtor to get the sign planted as soon as she could.
I then offered an extra percent if she could sell in thirty days. I already had a pretty good idea of how the paternity test would come out. She smiled and told me thanks but no thanks. She was plenty good enough to get it sold.
Hailey got home late from work. I had a good sense that the eunuch wasn't fully healed yet so I wondered. Hailey came and handed me an envelope from her OG-BYN. If she even noticed the for sale sign, she probably thought it was placed by the bank.
"I hope you're happy," she growled. "I'm so mad at you, Ham, I can't even see straight. I have no idea how you're going to make this up to me but it's going to take a long time and tons of sucking up."
Reflectively, I tried to figure out what I'd ever seen in her to begin with. "Thanks." was my one-word response.
Later, as I sat watching a ballgame, I opened the results. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Was it possible she just picked up the results and didn't ask the doctor any questions, or was she hoping I wouldn't read the report? The results showed that there was a 2.03% chance I was the father.
She came waltzing into the living room and sat on the other end of the sofa sometime later. "Can we stop all this and talk about our future for a bit?" she asked, all sweetly.
"What future?" I replied calmly.
She looked at me funny. For just a second, I wondered if she just read it wrong.
"Now that you know the baby's yours," she said as if not comprehending my question. "We need to clear the air and get on with our lives."
"This paper says I'm not the father," I said matter-of-factly. "What are you up to? Another prank?"
She got defensive right away. "Ham, what the hell?" she got louder. "It says you are the dad. Ninety-eight percent."
I handed her the document. "I don't believe you're that stupid, Hailey." I went out into the backyard. Hailey never came out and, as was the norm, the bedroom door was locked later when I checked.
The next day, Hailey didn't come home after work. Something seemed off in the house and after further inspection, most of her stuff was gone. There was a note on top of the TV remote saying she had left, she was sorry, yada, yada. I was beginning to wonder if I was living Groundhog Day, but instead, it was April Fools over and over again.
Sitting there, without the stress of her in the house, I started to put a few things together.
Could it have been the eunuch coaching her to try and turn me violent? Maybe get me sent back to prison so they could enjoy each other and keep most of my stuff? It made sense but why bother? Why wouldn't she just run off with him?
I texted her: Coward. Or is it whacko? I was thinking it would be helpful to get closure. It was then that I realized she'd never respected me. She thought I was so stupid she could keep playing me until I wore down. I was sure that Woodson egged her on.
It was a relaxing evening at home. I hadn't realized that I'd already written Hailey off while in prison. I knew I didn't like her or love her but it was refreshing to just sit in my house without her around. It didn't last.
It was 2:03. That's what my old-fashioned alarm clock said. I could barely see it through the smoke. Jumping out of bed I ran through the bedroom door into the hallway. Lots of smoke. Shit, the house was on fire!
It had progressed to the point that trying to put it out was no longer an option. I'd die from smoke inhalation before I could even get started. I ran back into the bedroom, throwing open the window to assess.
There was a hydrangea bush below the window. It wasn't much but it could soften the blow if I could land and roll. That was a big if. Instead, I decided to wrap my upper body with the comforter, after throwing some pants on. I was out of time. One. Two. Two and a half.
It was so much hotter down at ground level. I rolled but not like I envisioned myself doing in a movie. Probably not stuntman material. As I went to stand, it was easy to figure out I'd sprained my ankle. I pulled my phone out of my pants pocket and dialed 911 but I could already hear sirens in the distance.
After a flurry of activity, I sat on the back step of an ambulance getting my ankle wrapped. When they first took me out to their rig, my ankle cuff went off past the fence. The cops were gracious enough to disconnect it.
Then I got a nice surprise. I didn't recognize her at first with her sheriff hat on. It was Marley.
"How's it hanging, Ham?" she smiled brightly. Since I looked at her like she was crazy, her smile faded.
"Sorry, Ham," she apologized. "Bad timing. I'm glad you're all right."
We talked about the fire. She told me she'd followed my case and had even done her best in the pen to help keep me safe and out of trouble. That was surprising but gave me a warm feeling. Actually, that may have just been Marley's presence.
"You think she did this, Ham?" she seemed like she was unsure asking the question.
"I don't know," I said honestly. "She just moved out, after trying to lie to me about her baby's paternity test. She's been borderline psychotic in my opinion."
"Can we talk more about it tomorrow?" she didn't wait for an answer. "Right now, I need to change your location. You're still on house arrest, even though you no longer have a house."
She wasn't kidding as she stood knocking on my cousin's door at eight-thirty. She'd driven me there after all the questioning and paramedics checking my ankle. Marley was all business as we went to the kitchen and I offered her coffee.
We're looking at your ex... I mean your wife and possibly this Dane Woodson character for the arson on your home. I need the details of what's happened since you were released from prison.
"So, it was set intentionally?" I asked for clarification.
"It's still under investigation so I can't say much but yes there were suspicious chemical accelerants."
"I had a copy of the paternity test my lawyer demanded and she was pregnant with somebody else's kid. I can't say for sure it was Woodson but the odds are very high unless she was screwing around with a variety of guys while I was in the joint. He also threatened to come after me for the beating I gave him that landed me in jail to begin with."
"We know all about that," she admitted. "Dumb bastard said so in his sworn statement that first day in the hospital."
Jared was still in bed but Marley leaned in close as if telling me a secret. "Hammer, if it was him... well, I'm wondering if I might help you with your situation?"
"Like what?" I asked, astonished. "He'd go to jail... like that?"
"Look, you were... you helped me out of a very tight jam," she paused. "Like I'll never 'forget what you did for me' kind of jam. I feel like I owe you. That feeling is compounded because part of your record had to do with what you did to keep me from being raped."
I just stared at her. Part of it was how mesmerized I was with her beauty and her smile. She was every bit as gorgeous as she'd ever been.
"Arson is one of the harder crimes to prove," she started in a different direction. "Not because we don't have great forensics but because good lawyers know how to work around them.
"If your wife could have been involved," she continued, "we want to try to get it recorded. Do you think you could help with that?"
Marley set up Jared's living room with surveillance. My cousin had to pay for the equipment so he could claim it as home security and not have it viewed as a sting operation. He was happy to do so. The plan was for me to invite her over under the guise of possible reconciliation. I had to wait to hear from Marley to tell me when. She promised me some satisfaction after the meeting was over - not that kind of satisfaction, she'd said.
It made me wonder if I might have a shot at getting a date with Marley. She still seemed to have some feelings for me. Regardless, she coached me on what to say and ask when I met with Hailey. The goal was to get her angry enough to give us something she didn't want to. Hailey's temper might aid in getting a halfway decent confession.
Even if Marley and I only remained friends, it was all right with me. I'd lost my job and my house, and I was a convicted felon. Fortunately, the realtor tore up our contract. I wanted to get on with my life.
I got the call one week later. Marley rehearsed for a few minutes before giving me the green light. Hailey sounded eager to talk. Maybe this would work.
Jared stayed clear of his own home in order to give us space and hopefully, put Hailey at ease. When she arrived, I handed her a beer and we sat facing each other in the living room. Her tight jeans and loose-fitting top were also a ploy. At least I'd learned a few things.
I started by letting out a big sigh. Marley and I had discussed the strategy of appearing reticent, overwhelmed, and ready to give in.
"How have you been, Hailey?" I began.
"Not great, Ham," she answered. "I'm missing you. I'm so sorry about the house. I know the bank was selling it anyway but we had so many good memories there. I'm hoping for some good news here, Ham, maybe a way to start making some new memories."
She had to be delusional, or she really thought I was that dense. Even the sight of her sickened me.
"We'll see," I said in a forlorn tone. "I think I need some honesty first. If I can't find a way to trust then there isn't any point." She hesitantly nodded.
"I need to know," I slowly asked, "how did it all start with him?"
The intensity in her gaze deepened, and she held back a smile, glad that my line of questioning would be about her boyfriend and not the fire. That's when I knew we had her.
"Okay, Ham," she replied. "You're calm, right? You're not going to lose your temper?"
I told her I was calm. "He started flirting with me at the prior month's neighborhood get-together." She was rubbing her hands together in her lap, a telltale sign of nervousness. It was also something she did when she lied.
"I flirted back, Ham," she unburdened herself. "I'm sorry. I was smitten. He's handsome and made me feel good with the compliments. He'd come by a few times when you were at work. The third time was a week before we hosted our party and we had sex."
"I see," I still played the part. "Was it in our bed or somewhere else?"
Hailey began to cry. She was barely holding it together and we'd basically just started. "In our bed," she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I know that hurts to know. I don't know why I did it."
She was good, I'll give her that. It was disheartening, to say the least, that what I witnessed then, I'd seen before with stupid glasses on.
"We did it once more, at his house," she went on. "Before the party."
"And at the party," I interrogated, "that was intended to rub it in?"
"Maybe," she shrugged. "I don't know. He was there when I came out of the bathroom and kissed me without warning. I told him to stop, we could easily be found out. As he leaned in again, he said, 'Just tell the Neanderthal it's an April Fool's joke.' So that's what I did."
"And you decided the best strategy was not to take your husband's side?" I needed to keep the focus on her feelings for me, and subsequent actions.
"I didn't know what to do," she finally sounded honest. "You went bat-shit crazy on him. Everyone was looking at me with... pity. I did come to see you but you were so angry. I was afraid. I didn't think he'd follow through with the charges. Then I went to see him in the hospital, to try to get him to drop the charges and found out what kind of permanent damage you'd done."
"Then you found out you were pregnant," I said as a statement. "Why would you think I'd go along with that?"
"I was desperate, Ham," she was crying harder. "Everything was falling apart. After you were convicted, I decided to go to him and see if he'd take me in and raise our child together. I'm so sorry! I figured if you were there for a year, we were totally finished."
It was the moment of truth. "So, I got out early and you help him burn my house down? All your big plans down the drain?"
"No, Ham," she was nearly hysterical. "I gave him the key, baby. That's all. He promised you wouldn't be home when he did it!"
That was it. I looked at her with contempt and I know she felt it. "Well, just goes to show who you can trust. The double-entendre left her wondering if I was alluding to her or me.
"I'm sorry, Ham," she broke down. "I fucked up big time. Can you forgive me?"
"No," I said, standing up. "I can't. I made a mistake bringing you here. I was hoping for a miracle, for anything I could grasp onto. You've confirmed the worst."
"You won't..." she realized her mistake and panicked. "Don't bring me into whatever you're going to do, Ham. Please! I have the baby to think about. Don't ruin the child's life, too."
I showed her to the door and then I texted Jared. He, in turn, would get hold of Marley. I grabbed a cold brew and sat down heavily wondering if Hailey's plea, wasn't in fact, the better move. It took only nanoseconds to realize that everything going forward was a consequence of her actions.
An hour later, I heard the doorbell. At first, I thought Jared had forgotten his key. Instead, there was a small cardboard box on the mat. Maybe it was a bomb!
I carefully inspected and then opened the package. Inside, I found a note and a burner phone. The note said, "Watch the video, then destroy the phone, box, and note".
I sat down with great amusement. The note provided the six-digit login for the phone. There were only three apps on the home page and I pulled up the video.
It was dark. The camera seemed to be pointing to the ground at someone's feet. I could hear a man's muffled screams, probably gagged. By the sound of it, he was pleading for his life.
Lights came on and into view came a fenced-in area filled with what looked like mud. The wailing man came into view, naked except for some cloth in his mouth. Two other men dragged him to the fence and removed his gag.
"Help! Help!" he hollered.
Another voice began speaking, presumably behind the camera. "Go ahead," he chuckled. "Ain't nobody here for you."
The camera was set on a table or post. The third man came into view. I couldn't believe it! It was Billy Ray! He helped the other two hoist Dane Woodson up and over the fence. Woodson acted like a marlin being boated, writhing and wiggling around. Damn, that boy could scream, too.
