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my first paingasm
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this is not fiction.
i am very excited about it!
on Monday eve i was able to give myself an orgasm just by paddling my twat with the back of my hairbrush.
this has never happened before, and it was particularly hard won, but the implications are staggering!
so first of all i had only cum (i think) three times since august 20th. this was my choice for the first month, because i had been studying the goonette scene, and i learned that a lot of them never cum, preferring to just edge constantly. they say that edging can be more satisfying than orgasm, if you learn how to do it right, so whether you choose to never cum or just to cum infrequently, you can learn how to bring yourself breathtakingly close to orgasm and sustain it for hours on end, without getting tired or loosing the mojo, apparently. that's how a lot of the most successful cam girls do it... it's not an act! i had intuited it was not, and made inquiry, and had been clued in a bit.
so if you simply stop masturbating, your pussy will more or less go to sleep. it won't be reawakened unless a man comes on to you, basically. a lot of women choose that, or have that forced onto them by negative cultural programming or whatever... so they almost never masturbate, and don't develop much of an erotic fantasy life. but if you edge constantly, you essentially just get hornier and hornier, until you are essentially on the edge of orgasm all the time. less so when you are not touching yourself, but still, on my way to work i can get a tremendous thrill from just brushing my nipples against someone's back accidentally, on a crowded bus or train. or even, if i brush up against someone, or even some thing, with my ass!
so that's the first benefit of the "goonette lifestyle," that your secondary erogenous zones become hypersensitive. also, and this is a little hard to explain, but everything starts seeming sexy to you. men who you might not have given a second glance seem full of potential, or situations (like being flirted with or in my case being mildly humiliated) become extremely sexy. or dressing sexy becomes an amazing experience... just feeling everyone's eyes all over you!
one of the downsides is that, at all times when you are outside of your home, you have a little (or sometimes big) itch to get back to your house where you can touch yourself again. it's like something is never finished, and you really want to finish up, but you never can. or like you are always a little hungry, as if you were dieting, or as if you always had to pee,
okay, so that's the way it's been for me since august 20th.... i developed a relationship with my online Master where i am only allowed to cum if he permits it (which actually makes it extra sexy for me).
so i was enjoying some online play, and Master had me very worked up... i had rubbed myself right to the brink twice, and i had gotten into the bathtub and peed in my own face, and been forced to taste it, and i had been forced to say these demeaning things about myself, and stuff like that. but there i was, being toyed with, and i hadn't been promised an orgasm, so the fact that he was taking it so far and getting me so worked up was embarrassing in and of itself, and it made me feel really vulnerable and submissive. and i started begging him to let me have an orgasm.
and he finally said i could have one, maybe, but it would hurt. so first he made me get my toothbrush, and he was going to make me rub the bristles against my clit but he thought better of it because it occurred to him that if i abraded myself down there i could get an infection, since my toothbrush may not be sanitary enough. so he had me stick it up my bottom.
so there i was, drenched in pee, kneeling on the tile floor of my bathroom, facing my toilet, which had the lid down and my laptop was resting on it. my toothbrush was up my butt and i was bouncing up and down on it, so i could feel the bristles scraping my anal canal a bit. and then he made me get my hairbrush, which is a fairly big one, made of wood, and heavy sort of, with a smooth flat back in the shape of a rectangle with rounded edges. so he ordered me to begin slapping my pussy with it.
and within about 20 strokes, i knew i was going to cum if i kept it up... so i told him so... and he just had me keep going until i cummed.
my orgasm lasted a long, long time, because i wasn't getting exactly the friction that i generally need on my clit. but that made it better... i kept having these little shuddering convulsions every few seconds, instead of having one singular and efficient climax... but also i responded to the pain. and just like i had imagined countless times, the pain and pleasure did combine into one sensation, so my orgasmic paroxysms were also spasms of pain... the sting of the slapping wood against my labia of course but also, mainly, the clit pain. because each blow to my swollen clit both caused pain and pleasure, literally... the same blow. each one hurt so much, but also triggered another fiery explosion of pleasure and release. i was probably orgasming for 3 or 4 minutes, i think, or at least it seemed so.
anyway, i'd never cum before from just a pussy spanking, or from any spanking or whipping at all. a long, rhythmic spanking (or belting) on my rear end will always cause me to respond sexually, and i can get very worked up from it, but it won't actually make me cum. not by itself.
but now, it turns out that my body is capable of having an orgasm just from a long, hard paddling on my twat!
i am 37 years old and i have been dreaming about cumming from just being spanked or whipped forever. but never until last monday did it ever actually happen! i'm so happy!
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Posted on : Nov 16, 2024
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Add Comment
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Commented on Nov 25, 2024
Happy, and not surprised, to hear you are so happy, this is indeed a wonderful breakthrough for you, it will be the gift that keeps on giving, enjoy the ride, yay! And just want to say I love what you wrote in reply to facecuck.
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Commented on Nov 25, 2024
Such a wonderful read April. I see that tbefore long you'll be at the stage where, whenever you are out of the house, you will be desperate, really really desperate, to get home and torture your clit for hours! Would love to hear about it...and I do special discounts on hot sauce ...and toilet brushes ;)
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Commented on Nov 23, 2024
Ah, a budding denial slut. Before you know it you'll be begging dominants to not let you cum, staying lost forever in the messy headspace of a permanently horny and frustrated sexual plaything. You'll do anything your betters desire to bring themselves release while you remain interminably, embarrassingling, wanting.
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Commented on Nov 21, 2024
OMG, that's wonderful!!! 👠ðŸ‘👠I think you've been building up to this for a long time. A lot of your characters have paingasms, and now you're achieving this in real life! 😠Yay, Jan
And furdegee, good question!
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Commented on Nov 17, 2024
Next achievement to unlock is the shamegasm… I wonder you could get there?
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Commented on Nov 17, 2024
hi Facecuck... i just want to point out that people are really different and they want different things!â¤ï¸ i believe i have cum only four times since i started doing this, and after each time i was very, very happy and blissed out... it didn't even occur to me to ask "why am i doing this?" because i know why. but i realize that some are not at ease with their perversions in the same way i am... so "brainwashing yourself into ever more extreme fantasies" would be regarded as a bad thing. it's simply not, in my personal universe. extreme fantasies are wonderful! but i acknowledge you and respect your thoughtfulness, and realize that everyone needs to find their way through this world on their own terms. but even so, if the fantasies you yourself are drawn towards make you upset, i think that means there is opportunity for growth there, and self knowledge to be gained through exploring them and examining why they upset you.â¤ï¸
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Commented on Nov 16, 2024
Super sexy and insightful piece, wet.
I had a 3-way going with a friend and his wife years ago. She was straight laced christian until about your age, then started on a med by her Dr. for something, and supposedly became horny overnite. They found she would cum hard if he dug the nail of his finger into her clit and pressed it hard against her pubic bone and just held it.
I never tried that with her, but she was certainly a very wild piss and fuck buddy with me .l. .l. .l.
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