TLDR: I got stood up on what was supposed to be my first meet up with a guy.

I've been exchanging messages with a guy on this site for a few months after he left some flattering comments on some of my photos. He seemed quite relaxed in his messages - not too pushy - and he lives not too far away from me, but not too close either. He sent me some photos of himself, then some videos of him masturbating and cumming, which I found pretty exciting. He has a nice looking cock and, reassuringly for a debutante like me, it looked like a size my little ass could deal with.

Neither of us can host at home, but I recently found a website with hotels that rent rooms during the day, and not just seedy places, but nice hotels around the city and, more importantly, they take cash, so it's all nice and discreet. So we started chatting about when we could meet up, which was the best area of town and finally fixed a date. I booked the hotel and we kept chatting about what we wanted to do when me met. We discussed our desires and turn-offs, rules about safe-sex and so-on, and he seemed to be OK with all of that.

I was nervous as hell, I admit, at the idea of finally getting to play with a real cock and so, the evening before, I put on a cute dress, slipped my new plug into my butt and watched his videos again. Looking at his cock getting hard as he stroked it, I imagined him getting hard in my mouth as I sucked him. I swapped my plug for my dildo and sat on it whie I watched him stroking his erect cock, thinking of it sliding into me as I squeezed the whole length of my dildo into my ass.

And, just as I came - filled with desire and excitement at the idea of finally feeling my first cock - I saw a new message from him. After days of back-and-forth about arrangements, what outfit he would like me to wear, there was one short, final, message saying that he had had second thoughts and wouldn't meet me the next day.

At least he let me know the night before, i guess, and not when I was already at the hotel, dressed and waiting for him on the bed. After all the build up, I was very disappointed, to say the least. I don't have many occasions to meet somebody like this, and now I wasn't going to to feel a cock in me after all.

I thought about it for a while. After all, it was going to be his first time with a crossdresser, so I could understand that maybe be was nervous to. Maybe he suddenly remembered he was married?  Or maybe he just didn't find me that sexy after all. I went to reply to his message, just to say that I was curious about why he had changed his mind, but he had already blocked me - no more contact was possible.

The most frustrating thing is that the little free time I had is almost gone. There's no time to meet somebody else online, and build up enough trust and confidance to let them take my little butt. It's so sad that I won't feel somebody's cock slide into my mouth while I stroke them.

Part of the excitement of crossdressing is wanting to feel feminine, to feel the pleasure of being penetrated. I guess I hadn't realised that another part of being a woman is being messed around by guys.

Why is it so hard to get my little ass fucked?!