We began dating in HIGH SCHOOL. It was destiny that we both - who have moved into the Ghetto - where at the time - Asians were very few. MY family moved us into the center of the hood (UNKNOWINGLY) - and we soon discovered that being born Asian (and even worse - a MALE) - we were not welcomed and became the targets for hate, violence - and bullying for kicks. Eventually the NIGHTMARE was short lived - as my gangster cousins poked fun at me for being a little bitch - and told me to grow a pair of balls - and fight back - telling me the hood has no respect for little bitches like me... So - after a month of fighting and getting beat to the ground with 100 percent certainty - I started gaining respect - and with that bit of respect - ultimately gave way to understanding one another (me and them)... And so - a change of heart - as All my Biggest bullies - became my closest friends - ultimately earning me the nickname of the BlackAsian. And so - once at the bottom and considered to be at the lowest of the social class - to earning a seat with the most popular circle of friends. Quickly I learned, acclimated - and even acculturated into the community - giving me more insight and better understanding of my fellow black friends. BUT - what I could never understand about my black friends - they ALWAYS get all the hottest girls. And as we all started to mature - my understanding of their behavior became notably different. Eventually - all their behaviors became focused on the females - and with each passing day - despite knowing and understanding many things about my black friends - I didn't know nor had the slightest comprehension why they went into sudden - and rapid changes in their behavior, interests and values - all aimed and focused toward one path -and that was girls. As I would eventually realize - I adapted to many things - the way I walked, the way I talked, and even dressed identical to them. But I also Held (strong and firm) to many of my Asian customs, tradition, and values. Which - I realized developed me a little differently - as I eventually moved into the attraction phase - developing feelings for females - they have already long passed that stage - and already talking about sex among other adult topics. And soon every day I hear their stories of fucking the shit out of the girls and beating that pussy up... And soon I began to hear them use terminology familiar to the ears (because it was English) - BUT unfamiliar - as it was used to interpret another meaning other than the intended use of the actual word itself. I often asked them - and they always (proudly and loudly) explain in detail the way it is pronounced - and the proper way it should be used in a sentence. Pretending I would understand as I would always give them the illusion of my comprehension while sitting in their circle and having no clue about many things on topic. It was explained well and in great detail - BUT - all the words pertained to sex and pleasure - And I had only went as far as using my right hand to elicit pleasant and in a sense a form of passionate sensation of pleasure - as my right hand has more fine control. And if I need to feel more intensity - my left hand was considered my power hand. And I just recently found out the word for this act of sin (masturbation). Despite exploring the recently discovered sensation and learning how to produce utilize the hands to produce more sensation, intensity and pleasure - I never went beyond -and had always stopped just under the maximum potential in which to elicit the process of nutting, nutted, or nut - as I learned it eventually to had a completely different interpretation - completely having nothing in relation whatsoever to the actual meaning and intended use of the term. And so - I realized - the biggest reason - I failed to keep speed with my friends in the rapid and increasing urge to want, and need to to explore the next stage of development. And I now know - it was the brain reaching a stage in which gave us awareness - and (YOU GUESSED IT) --> CURIOUSNESS!!!