I knew this would happen eventually. I thought I was smarter and now I'm stuck living in hell because I tried to take the easy way out. I got into a deal with a guy I thought was a friend to try and keep my home. He wouldn't fuck me at first and honestly yeah I got horny and frustrated from it. That went on for weeks until he came over and said I could fuck his friend. The break from anal sounded like a holiday to me and he could tell I think. So like an hour later this fat white guy walks in and just started groping my tits and trying to finger me. He didn't even say hello or introduce himself. I found it odd but I figured they just agreed to not talk about it. He pushed me in my room and pulled my skirt up and panties to the side. I could smell this nasty guys breathe and his panting while clung onto me was revolting. His cock was short and really girthy and smelled like death even from so far away. He fucked super hard and stretched my pussy out a decent amount after all this time I haven't used it. He came on the back of my shirt and it was like really watery smelly soup for lack of a better description. He didn't say anything just slapped my ass and walked into the living room while I cleaned up. As soon as he left another guy walked in and asked me to lay on my back. He was a small built Cuban or Spanish guy I couldn't tell. He put a comdom on and he was big. I didn't think a rubber would fit him but it did. He felt really good and he was really gentle until he was nearly there. And sped up, pulled out, took his condom offand came on my pussy. I wiped myself down and went out into the living room and he sat there playing xbox and told Mr I did a good job. I asked wtf he thought he was doing. He got up real quick slapped me and told me he thought I was down for this shit. I told him I wasn't and that him telling people that shit wasn't okay and that if this is what he wanted out of our deal he could have his money back and I would wait for my last job to pay out the rest of my contract. When he swung at me again I grabbed my phone and told him I would call the police and get both of us arrested and that at the moment I gave nothing to lose but I know he does. I asked him if this is the type of person he always was and he said no. He said he didn't think it would be an issue because clearly I wasn't satisfied being fucked sideways in the ass all the damn tike and he didn't want to date meand that I was already 6 kids deep and damaged goods. I yelled at him loud enough my neighbor heard and came over. I know he's in a relationship now but I miss him and was really glad he still cared enough to come running. When my neighbor came in I asked him to watch this guy. I went to my hiding spot and got the money out the lockbox and gave it to him and told his sorry ass we are through and that he was a shifty lay. He laughed and said I was delusional and that I was lucky he even bothered with me but at least he made a few hundred dollars off me. Told him I don't care and that it was a cheap price to lay for him to never come back and he stormed out. I told my neighbor everything and thanked him and he told me his new girl is cheating and he caught her twice already talking to guys at her job and sending nudes. He admitted it only bothered him cuz he turned me and several others down to be faithful to her. And now he is having her legally evicted from his house and hasn't done anything yet but if I was down he would come find me when she was gone. When he left I called a locksmith and had all locks changed and had neighbor help me put in a ring camera at the door and a ball camera on my ceiling. After that we didn't speak for a couple of days and I seen her throwing a fit a walking out with suitcases and telling him she only messed up once. He asked calmly if she had everything and that he was documenting her leaving. She cried and asked if he was serious and I guess her friend or someone ogot out a car and grabbed her and she left. Maybe 10 minutes went by and my phone rang and he asked me if I saw all that drama. I told him I did but that it wasn't my business. He said he was horny and lonely and secretly he was glad she left sooner than he thought so he could see me. Honestly I was shocked that it was that deep for him. I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he knew I wanted him to use a condom but he didn't have any and hasn't for a while. I explained I didn't need him to use them any more and that I can't get pregnant again fr this time. My ovaries are gone now that's why I took so long to heal I was to high risk. When he came through the door we kissed immediately and started taking off each other's clothes. I wanted him to fuck me and make me feel whole. It's how I feel every time we do it. He raised my blue comfy shirt dress and slid my panties down sensually and kissed my clit which sent shivers down my spine. Just being raw and honest it's the first time I've ever moaned and squirted like that from just having my clit sucked. I cried a little and he stopped and just held me and told me I was are and its okay. In all the years since I was kicked out for getting pregnant and my family throwing me away like trash. Nobody has been that kind to me and made me feel like a woman in every since of the word. I don't know how long we fucked for but it was morning when he came and dark when we finished round 1. It was slow mind numbing orgasms that led to hard doggystyoe pounding to being fucked like a jackhammer. I was a sobbing horny mess begging to be violated and seeded. When I was flipped over onto my tummy he shoved the whole thing in my pussy and just stroked till I blanked out for a sec. He kissed my neck and asked me to say his name and stop running from the dick. I cried his name it felt so damn good. I think it did me a lot of real good to take a break from sex. It felt so much better and I had more orgasms from one guy than I have in gangbangs. I rolled over and he titty fucked me while holding my wand to my clit. I sucked his big black cock every stroke it came close enough. He grabbed my thighs and pressed them nearly into my armpits and fucked me hard and deep for a long time telling me how much he missed me and how jealous he was when he saw another guy here. I'm cumming, farming, and squirting while he's just mercilessly fuckking what's left of my cervix and twisting my nipples. I felt his sperm trying to come ou and his shaft getting bigger and I kissed him and asked him to fill my womb up. He slammed his cock in there and made me squirt while he was cumming inside me. He told me I have the fattest juiciest pussy and he ain't want nobody else messing with me unless I was totally sure it's what I wanted. I asked him if I wasn't worth dating.. he kissed me and asked me if I was asking that to suggest something. But before I could answer he told me that I needed time to get on my feet and by myself again before jumping into another relationship. He's right, I was so love struck I was going to make the same mistake again. He told me he isn't seeing anybody and he would wait for me to look and feel okay before I took me for his own. I asked if the serial sex habit and 100's of past partners didn't bother him. He said it'd be a lie of he said no, but that he doesn't feel anything else in his life. None of his friends made hom feel okay, none of the achievements at work felt good and sex with others felt lifeless and bland. I totally got it. That's the feeling I had when I was on top of the world. The isolation from being alone at the top must be stiffling. We slept in my bed together until morning and I woke up to a still warm plate of eggs and bacon wrapped in plastic wrap and a memo pad that said I need to buy groceries lol. I texted him without him inside me it feels like something is missing but that I'd do my best to be okay again and I'd see him when he's free. 2 days passed and I got my papers from my job and I got tested after all the grossness of my ex and his "friends". I came back clean and so did my neighbor. I used my payout to buy the property at a friend discount and I have found a job I will be starting training in March. I have enough to live on for a while but I'll be thrifty and make it out the other side. My Lover comes over after work every other day. He gets off and goes home the same time every day so it's become comforting. And finally I did sit down with a therapist. I am going to start seeing her 3 times a month for the rest of this year. I remembered and read one of my old post and a guy told me I'd open up about my problems and probably get fucked by a male therapist and he was right. If I left that temptation there and started getting horny talking about stuff idk what I would do. So having a female is way better and that bit of taunting and horny talk may have been good advice in the long run. I think I'm done with this arc of my life now, rest assured I'll still be out there having really raunchy sex with my man. I kinda skipped around to make it make sense but the whole process has been going on since October of last year. We will be celebrating our one month at the end of February. It has been smooth sailing and we're both level headed enough to express or likes and dislikes. He doesn't like that I'm naughty online so I may not update here again for a really long time. And honestly I'm happy with how things are going. Money isn't an issue for either of us right now and we keep our assets separate until we're sure we want to marry and I don't know if that will happen. But if he ask I won't say no. But I will stress that this si still very new for me and that I do love him and that I'm grateful he saw the vulnerable side of me and didn't abuse it. I was always unsatisfied with just ome guy because I thought physical love was love all the same. It's not and I feel like a hypothetically whore for saying I ended my hoephase and I'm trying to settle down. I know with my true body count most guys would laugh or shrink away. It's bad to say it. But with repeat partners recounted my count is well over 2000. From being gang raped, loving orgies, glory hole activities, random hookups, being groped on the train, being willing assauled and fucked raw in a park(not really rape since I was willing), letting all my coworkers from my first ever job fuck me because I was new to sex, letting all those trains be ran on me, to filming milking content, to being anal-ized on a porn site, to letting my cousin and his friends pass me around when I was 19 just to know how it felt, the degrading fear of being forced to open your legs in your own home, I've lived, seen, and felt it all. This is my life. The good. The bad, And the just plain fucked up. Out of all the things I've done only a few stand out as I would never do them again. Mostly letting asian guys strap me down and harass me with toys.. why tf are they so good at that?? It was annoying good, like dude you're using my toys on me better than me and I'm a proud pervert tf. The orgasms were fantastic but nobody would fuck so yeah 6/10 lol. If I can pass on anything it's that you should give yourself a chance to change. No matter how this ends up I won't regret it because I built a stable base with my own hands and that's what he wanted for me. If a serial creampie addict and 6 time baby momma like me can do it. I'm sure others can to. Thanks for being fans and unknowingly helping me sort my thoughts out and rebuild self esteem. Who knew being jerked off to and degraded by strangers would make me feel better 🤷🏿‍♀️.  Take care everyone I'll check in every once in a while.

Sincerely, Sharon Marie Rucker