Today, after I ate lunch, I decided to browse some porn. As I was browsing, I pulled down my pants and underwear and began idly playing with my dick, as one does. I wasn't jerking off, just absent-mindedly playing with my tip as I was browsing. But pretty soon, a painful sensation came. At first, it was just on my foreskin. It felt like a raw sensation, like maybe I'd been grinding my dick against something rough (I hadn't), so I looked down and tried to inspect it. Couldn't see anything wrong with the skin. But pretty soon, the head starting feeling a burning sensation too. Again, I looked down and tried to inspect it, but I don't see anything unusual. The pain only started once I started playing with my dick, not before, so I couldn't understand what had happened between the time I laid my hands on my dick and the few minutes after when it started burning. Obviously, looking up "penis burning sensation" on Google will probably only tell me I have an STD which I know isn't the case since I haven't fucked in forever. It took me about 10 minutes before I realized what I did.

I had made a curry for lunch. The little curry kit that I bought came with a packet of dried spices, which included a dried chilli pepper. I had broken up the pepper with my bare hands, but didn't wash my hands afterward. Mystery solved. That's probably the dumbest (but also funniest) mistake I've ever made when it's come to my dick. It's still burning, although not as bad as it was 10 minutes ago. So yeah, always wash your hands thoroughly when handling chilli peppers, because you never know where your hands are going to be afterward.