A Saturday evening some months ago that
was slowly fading into night. I was sitting at a table in a bar,
sipping the rest of my cocktail. The friends I had come here with had
moved on in the meantime. I didn't feel like partying, they did. No
problem.
I could feel the stares. They wandered over my legs, my
skirt, my top, up to my face and back again. Finally, he nodded
slightly at me and came closer. He was older than me, estimated to be
a little over 30, with a business hairstyle, a well-groomed 3-day
beard and he looked sporty. Would I mind if he sat down with me and
invited me for another cocktail? I didn't, he looked good and there's
nothing wrong with a bit of company. I decided on a piña colada and
while we drank and made small talk, I kept noticing his eyes on
me.
I waited for the question that was unspoken in the room.
It wouldn't be my first one night stand and he was exactly the type
of guy I was in the mood for that evening. And finally he asked. But
it was a different question to the one I had expected. Instead, he
offered me money if I came with him. I wasn't prepared for that and
thought back and forth. In fact, only seconds may have passed, but
whole discussions of principles were taking place in my head. I
finally came to the conclusion that I was ready to have an ONS with
him and if there was some money involved, why not?
So I
finally said okay and shortly afterwards we both left the bar to go
to his house. The mood was still cheerful, but at the same time I had
a bit of stage fright and felt a certain tension. It wasn't just fun,
there was a business factor involved, I had agreed to have sex with
him for a fee. That changed a lot of things, even if it didn't seem
like it on the surface. For the first time, I had slipped into the
role of the service provider, who should also have fun, but within
the framework set by the partner, or now the client. Stage fright, as
I said, but no fear or aversion. The situation was exciting, new and
an excursion into a world that I had any contact with before and was
mainly familiar with clichés. It was a thrill to make this a reality
for one night.
When we arrived at his place, we went into the
living room, where he calmly placed the agreed fee on the table for
me. I pocketed it somewhat awkwardly and wondered what would happen
next. Would he give me instructions or did he expect me to take the
initiative instead? As it turned out, neither, because he poured us
both some liqueur and we talked for a few minutes about trivial
matters. That relaxed me a little and eventually I asked what he
would think if I freshened up in the bathroom and then we had fun
together? He thought a lot of it.
Back from the bathroom, I had to
undress while he looked at me from the armchair. Stripping was
neither my preference nor my talent, but oh well. I slipped out of my
clothes more awkwardly than lasciviously until I was standing in
front of him in just my thong and felt the scrutinizing looks again.
Then I went to him, knelt in front of him, opened his pants and
started to suck him off. As I mentioned before, I was anything but
inexperienced sexually and had already had a few ONS. However, I was
always in charge and basically did whatever I felt like doing. In
this case, however, there was a clear division of roles and that
meant that he said what he wanted and I did it. I don't want that to
come across wrongly, if he had asked for something I wasn't willing
to do, I wouldn't have done it and, if in doubt, I would have given
him the money back. But I found it exciting and the positions and
practices he wanted were all okay and nothing unusual.
Nevertheless, I was much more insecure
than usual, I kept looking at him and trying to interpret his
reactions. Was it good the way I was doing it? Or was it not and he
was just pretending to make me feel better? It took a while before I
was halfway sure that I wasn't being too stupid and loosened up a
bit. Especially when we switched to positions where he was the more
active part, like in the missionary position or when we switched from
riding to doggie position.
Time passed and eventually I
disappeared back into the bathroom to clean up and get dressed.
The
farewell was friendly but not sentimental, no questions as to whether
we would meet again, maybe have breakfast together or anything like
that. We had a lot of fun together, sex in different positions and
yet it was a business arrangement and now the meeting had just come
to an end and we were parting company. It was something I hadn't
experienced before, but I kind of liked it. I've had various
relationships, of course, but somehow I prefer to be alone in my own
four walls. Acquaintances who always want to say hello or more are
rather annoying. It was clearly over and done with here and that was
pleasant. Also because I had a few things on my mind that I wanted to
think about.
Because: I had prostituted myself quite
unplanned and what did that actually mean? It was neither dirty and
humiliating as I knew it from television nor sophisticated and
wicked. Instead, it was just sex, in which I played a role in the
client's script and was only marginally concerned with my needs. Was
that good? Was it bad? Had I made a mistake?
It was different.
What was clear was that it gave me a buzz, I felt comfortable in the
role of wish-fulfiller and it flattered me that my body, with which I
was dissatisfied in many ways, could be quite attractive and
seductive after all. So I drove home from my first customer, and it
wasn't to be the last. Now I have the same hobby as my sister.
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