Years ago. Summertime. The weekend. My wife, Daisy, and I decided, last minute, to go see a movie matinee – one of those big blockbuster superhero movies at the megaplex.

We were running late. The parking lot at the theater was packed. I had to park way at the far end of the lot which Daisy wasn’t happy about, but that’s where all the open spaces were.

We were hustling towards the theater entrance, or I was... Daisy was sorta ambling. She was wearing one of those ankle-long maxi dresses, flip-flops, and sunglasses. She was stoned and had said she wanted popcorn, Twizzlers and a Diet Coke.

So I was thinking about the line at concessions and getting impatient. “Come on,” I urged. “We’re gonna miss the beginning.” 

Daisy huffed in annoyance but she did pick up her pace a bit.

We were halfway there when Daisy abruptly veered right, stepping between two parked cars. She hauled the hem of her dress up to her waist and squatted. She wasn’t wearing underwear.

Thinking she was about to take a piss I said, “What the fuck? You couldn’t wait until we were inside?”

But Daisy reached under herself and pulled a butt plug from her asshole – a big metal one.

I’d had no idea she’d been walking around with a butt plug in her asshole.

She stood up, let her skirts fall back around her ankles and dropped the plug into her big purse. She hustled past me towards the entrance, leaving me behind, sorta stunned.

She said, “Come on! Don’t just stand there... we’re gonna miss the beginning.”