The first thing to understand once you commit, is to imagine yourself back in high school or college as a shy uncertain teenager in the same space as other shy uncertain teenagers tentatively exploring their sexuality. At this stage there are older kids who are more experienced, shy ones, boastful ones, uncertain ones, scared ones, braggarts, liars, younger ones pretending to be your age and the like among these tentative explorerers of sexuality.

The same happens when you enter into this scene. As a Gen Xer I have ye to come to terms with the idea that a computer or phone screen can change people's personalities, that it somehow makes people believe they are free to act as they wish and get away with it. In particular people who act dishonourably or dishonestly.

Your wife is effectively re-entering the dating scene. She is as tentative, as uncertain and as shy as she was when she started tenttatively exploring the world of boys.

The challenge is that, the same losers you got in school... yeah, well they're still out there. The worst is that as they have aged, these toxic traits have become worse and concentrated. The other is that the added benefit of social media's computer/phone csreen protection has added to the obnoxiousness of these kinds of men. 

Your wife now has to deal with them. And she will heavily rely on you to be her support because sometimes... she will run into one of these characters, and given her fragility she will be deeply harmed by rejection. 

While in this phase where she is looking for a guy, she will feel massiv ego boosts as myriad guys try to woo her. It will be mindblowing for her to sense she is hot to guys other than herself. Her flirting technique will improve dramatically. She will have guys chasing her.

But in this pack will be the lot from school days.

The married ones looking for a diversion who will chat when it suits them. And have guilty pangs, then leave your wife on read for three days and then return as though nothig happened.

The uncertain newbies keen to bang an experienced woman who will be crass and vulgar before they get to know her.

The ones who think that a woman just being on this app means she's a sure thing and start sending dick pics immediately while demanding reciprocation.

The ones who will play along until it gets to an in person meet, make the date, then chicken out. The under 35s do this a lot... then they usually try to make an excuse afterwards.*

The lecherous older ones who are keen to send sexts before they've even made a connection.

The lonely ones/hurt ones who all have a soppy story about a wife/girlfriend/SO who disappointed them and basically want company and sex until they find some other outlet.

The ones who are just in there for their ego to see if they can "seduce" your wife.

The ones who just want to ask questions and talk and talk and talk, who are basically fishing for info to either identify you/your wife for whatever reason or who are too scared to commit to this and arelooking for tips for themselves and trying to mine your girl's mind to get into their wife's.

The ones who thik your wife is their Playstation 5 they can use, turn off, ignore, and return to switch on and play with five days later a though nothing has happened...

We have a rule. I get to see all the texts and I can veto ifI don't like the looks of a guy. That means block and delete.

Be that as it may.

The important thing is that this is not a thing without emotional investment. Your wife is not an animal that will happily flit from dick to dick like a female dog in heat. She is a human being. She needs to establish a connection, a feeling, invest a bit of herself, even a bit of affection and maybe some love, into someone she intends to sleep with. Every time she does she exposes herself to that guy. And she opens a bit of herself, a bit of vulnerability, open to that guy. And that guy is not you. He does not understand her, her fears her investment, her risk.

You're not the one flirting online or in a pub.

You're not the one sending half naked pics of your cleavage, thighs and bottom to strangers on the internet

You're not the one sitting in a coffee shop/restaurant hoping some stranger turns up and isn't a serial killer or look different to what his profile says he looks like and she's hoping nobody she knows sees her and starts asking weird questions, desperately hoping that the guy likes her, likes what he sees, finds her attractive.

You're not the one getting her pussy shaved, waxing her thighs, putting on makeup dressing in sexy lingerie and nice clothes so that some stranger she's met on the internet wil like her enough to fuck her for your enjoyment.

You're not the one waitig in the hotelroom.

Not the one kissing this guy, undressing for him, having to control his lust, making sure hubby gets what he wants from this, while making sure she stays safe in case the guy she's with is a serial killer or rapist or something equally weird and dangerous.

You're not the one needing to give enough of yourself to enjoy sex with a casual stranger while married and at the same time, having given up your most intimate sexual parts of yourself to this stanger, having to go home to your husband hopig he doesn't see you as a cheating slut but still as just his own wife.

 So when she does this, you need to appreciate what she is doing. You need to show her how much you lover her, you need to be there for her, to reassure her she's your girl, how proud you are of her, how hot she looks to you, how hot she looks FULL STOP, how much you love her, how much you care for her, how much she is your one and only...

And if she calls herself a whore or a slut... well

 "Yes you are... and that's exactly what I love you for because you're MY sexy whore and MY hot slut ONLY."

And support her...  because every now and then... there's this one guy....

And he takes you both to sizzling new heights of sexual enjoyment of each other.

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* I kid you not one little Millenial once had us set up an adult Air BNB for a Sunday afternoon of fun.... then ghosted my wife till 18h00 and finally messaged her with "Oh sorry, I was in training all day so I couldn't message you, sorry about that. When can we meet up again?". She blocked him, he messaged me. I told him he lacked honour, reliability as a human and had no integrity... waited till he read it, saw "typing" then deleted him. Yes it's childish... I don't care.