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ok... a year or two... I “discovered” the “Internet” in this direction... these sites... at first I just looked... tried to figure it out... to understand... at first I tried very modestly.. .I was shaking...couldn’t sleep...my fingers were shaking...when I even showed a harmless photo...then there were photographs “without a face”...etc...when I showed my face...I thought I would pass crazy with fear... my whole body was shaking... I couldn’t do anything. ..I didn’t see anything... my eyes were covered with a veil, my fingers couldn’t hit the keys... and... at the same time... I started to leak... my thighs were wet... up to my knees... a simultaneous feeling of fear, humiliation and excitement... I lost control of myself... I couldn’t stop... and I began to “disappear”... for 2...3...6 months...deleted the photo ..I was afraid to “look in”...I don’t want to be “exposed”, “exposed”, “exposed”... but after this time... I “came back” again and it all started all over again... I am starting to expose myself like a cheap whore... I shudder at every comment or look... what I will now “see” or “hear” - hello, I didn’t expect to see you or I don’t believe my eyes that it’s you... even while in a cafe or park.. I I catch people staring at me or someone looks at me for a long time... I'm in a panic - they recognized me... I'm getting wet... my skirt is getting wet. ..the chair under me is wet and I can’t leave the cafe... but I realized... that I started to free myself... a year or six months ago... I wouldn’t be able to talk or discuss a photo shoot... and decide to do it ... and I want to completely liberate myself... step by step...on my own or with support... then I... will make more albums and, hopefully, more explicit ones...
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Posted on : Nov 21, 2023
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