All meet ups start with a desire or a fantasy. I've had these desires since I can remember. I spend most of my fantasies by myself or while on cam.  I fucked blow up dolls on cam, I oiled myself up, I make plastic bag clothes, and I dress up in panties and lingrerie. Mostly for the feeling of the fabic, it sets me off.  I'm a horny perverted human. I'm married and have been for a very long time. That adds another issue in the mix. I can't really tell her, because I'm sure she will judge me in a quick and negative way, but she surprises me sometime, she rolls with some of it. I wanted to meet a person who is a lot like me. I need someone to take pics of me dressed, with toys, and other things. With hopes they'd join me.

   Well, I finally found someone, took the plunge, met them at a park and then took'em back to my house. I've never done this ever. It was a meet up to mutual JO and watch. Something odd happened, I watched him play with himself. I got so jittery, I asked if I could touch it, of course he said yes. Well, I started to JO him, grabbing his balls, rubbing that awesome little cock of his. Then I had this uncontrollable urge of wanting to suck him, but I had no rubber, saftey first. As I JO'd him I also wanted him to fuck me, he doesn't do that because of cleanliness. 

   The saddness of all of this, I couldn't get hard to save my live.  His face was directly in front of my cock, and nothing. Very embarrasing to say the least. To be honest he was very distracted by the HJ he was getting. He knows I get hard he has seen a bunch of pics from here and other places. He likes it when I dress in panty and bra sets.  He dresses too, that was the attraction.  If I can only get him to take pics of me, allowing me to be free of seting the cam up after each pose.  Back to the story at hand.  His cum felt very warm, I think he was a little upset I made him cum so fast. I finally jo myself in front of him and blew out a good load. We cleaned up, we shook hands and he left.

   I thought that it was over and I had also went on with the rest of my day, until I sat down and relized what I just did. I cheated. I started getting sick to my stomach, the guilt would live in me for days, almost weeks. I couldn't even have sex with my wife, I was shut down mentally and physcally. 

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