So we're about a month down the line into a proper hotwifing scenario.

Few things we have sort of picked up. Myths and a few new discoveries.

This takes organization and effort

It's not as easy as going out to a local bar and picking up someone.

If you're a little older and your wife, you and her bull have t put something together there are logistics involved in a play date. There are kids. There is time off work. There is arranging a discreet meeting place. There is incessant chatting. Wife had to "develop" a flirty persona to chat to the bull. I have to take sexy pictures for him. We have to ensure the kids and the family staying with us never find out. He has a child so he has to ensure she is taken care of and out of the way. The playdates are a logistical nightmare. Also we have to take great care to ensure we keep it a secret. Wife must get time to chat and flirt with bull on her phone where nobody can see and ensure the chat stays a secret (there are settings and apps for this by the way) and ensure the ENM apps are hidden on her phone (you can do this).

When they have a playdate, she has to start etting ready the day before already. It's picking an outfit, doing hair properly so she likes it and packing what the three of us have called a "defuckifying" bag... i.e. stuff that she can use after their playdate to not look as though she's been freshly fucked. Like a clean panties, some makeup, a hairbrush and maybe a new clean top and outfit, some perfume and deoderant. This has to be sneaked into the car in such a way that nobody in the house sees it.

Bulls are human too

This is a bit difficult to explain, but I'll give it a shot. Your wife's bull is another person with his own values and ideals and character. He is not some blow-up doll with a big black dick. He has a family and friends and a job and this relationship has meaning to him too, even though the meaning may be solely sexual. Our bull works a high power corporate job (like my wife), he is divorced and shares parenting, so him and my wife have to fit their playdates and chats in around his parent time - most playdates occur during the morning after the kids are dropped at school as an example. Sometimes he needs her to "destress" from a hard week. Also our bull doesn't just want to act like a fuck machine. He needs time to seduce and undress and have foreplay with my wife. He says he can't just open the door grab her and fuck her. They need to chat and set a tone and then get to the good stuff. I never thought of that, and kind of thought a bull was pretty much a blow up doll with a dildo who'd fuck on demand.

A good way to illustrate this is that in one of their playdates he and she actually ended at foreplay stage because he couldn't "perform"... yeah a black guy with a horny naked white woman couldn't get the job done. Him and her ended up chatting in bed for about an hour where he shared his bull experiences with her. He then asked her to keep them confidential as he had shared way too much due to their having been drinking.

Afterwards she told me that he had shared things with her about his personal life and asked her to keep it between them. I was deeply conflicted with her and I having agreed that that for this to work it would need to be an open and honest thing. She assured me it was nothing to do with the relationship between the three of us. Later the bull messaged me and apologised for doing that and told me what he had told my wife. Seems he had stopped being a bull a few years back as a result of a hotwife situation that turned very ugly and this was his first foray back into the game.

He also needs positive reinforcement from my wife about his technique and the effect he has on her, so he kind of likes when she tells him how well he is licking, kissing, touching and fucking her. This surprised me too. The first time they had it on, he was too shy for her to have him in photographs, so he took the pictures. Also he didn't want a video or a dial in video call or any call. She audio recorded what happened though and this was enough for me.

The bottom line is that this is a threeway relationship.

Our bull's dick

Dunno about you guys but that was pretty much the first question I wanted her to answer after she actually got it on with him.

Imagine my surprise when this conversation happens...

 Uuuhhh not as big as you actually.

What?

He is uncircumsized so it kind of tapers off at the end. Not like you with that big circumsized head.

Okay sooo

So it slips in much easier than what you do.

Also he's thinner than you

What?

Yes.

He's a black dude.

Hubby, you're 6'5 and weigh 225, and you're a gym bunny. You have an 8' dick... that's 6' circumference... there are probably like ten men in the state that size.

It's just that I thought you know...

Well you are wrong

How does it feel?

He says he's got goldilocks length... like 6,5' not too short and not too long... and he's right... it feels fucken fantastic... he knows how to use it...

*confusion*

But basically not every black guy has a dick like a horse.

Ass up face down is not his favorite

Okay so prior to us having kids I was an MMA fighter... semi professional and not destined for UFC or Bellator. Basically did it to stay fit and sharp. Where do I go with this. Lots of poor black boys trained with me. The area we lived in was pretty industrial working class. Hard people. From them I learned gangster rap. And it was my anthem music during my fight days. I had to stop when our kids were born due to language... and only recently started listening again.

Anyway wife comes home and she tells me this conversation with the bull happened. They finish Round 1 in missionary, he takes a five minute break.

Comes back ready for Round 2. Wife is not used to a guy doing that. I usually need about 20-30 minutes.

Wife: So I suppose you want me ass up face down at some point?

What?

Ass up face down?

Doggy style?

Yes.

Why would I do that?

My husband said it's black men's favorite...

What? Where did he Hear that?

 Uhhh... so he listens to gangster rap and apparently they sing a lot about wanting girls ass up face down...

Your fifty year old white husband listens to gangster rap?

He grew up in a rough area and mixed a lot with poor black kids and they did MMA together.... and he told me they told him they liked girls that way...

Bull thinks for a long time

 I understand why he thinks that then. Well I'm not as rough as your hubby. I kind of grew up wealthy in a upper middle class neighbourhood. And if my father ever caught me listening to ganster rap I'd have been disowned and kicked out the house.

Oh, so you didn't know what it was

Well I know the term, but the sex style? No that's not me.

Well what do you like then?

My favorite is what we just did. You with legs up, even on my shoulder and me on my arms over you. I like the legs up because I can go deep. And I like when you're on top. I mean I've done doggy style but I can't say it's my favorite.*

 LOTS of sex

So two things.

First your wife NEEDS constant reassurance that everything is okay with you. And as for me I am ravenous at the idea that she's fucking another guy and I get to share their fun so both pf our libido's are at SUPER HORNY.

This reaches a crescendo right after they've had a play date.

Also because when they arrange a play date we stop having sex about 3 days before because well, to keep the pussy nice and clean.

And every time we talk about what they do our sex drives go turbo boost.

Also the sex we have where we don't talk about him and just share intimacy are precious and happen a LOT more than before...

Talking about it gets us both very hot

We have trained ourselves to be very candid about what is going on when we are alone. So we talk about it A LOT.

The whole dynamic scares us a bit too and we constantly need to reassure each other this is an adveture and fun and we trust each other and love each other and we are in a stable marriage. Wife especially needs this constantly.

She also needs constant advice on drawing boundaries with him. Should she tell him her kids' names? Should she share family issues with him? What if he does?**

I always want every intimate detail, while she is willing to share them all. She even speculates about the next step and asks me how to broach subjects with him so she does not come over as bossy. Even these subjects are often enough to get us both super horny.I mean imagine the conversation after these questions..

What do I do if he wants a sleepover?

What if he wants to take me away for a weekend?

What if he wants me to do something you and I have never done?

Should I let him eat my pussy next time?***

Should I let him cum in me?

Can I let him pull out and cum on my tummy and tits?

Should I give him a blowjob? Should I let him cum in my mouth? Should I spit or swallow?

When my wife started to read about this lifestyle online it was actually long after she had a few playdates. One weekend her and I were driving alone and she casually started referring to herself as a hotwife and a vixen and me a stag and then she drove me over the edge by calling HIm my bull. Using those terms in casual conversation from my wife is just SO sexy for both of us!

Of course the end of these conversations is always that we end up ravishing each other...

 It's confusing

Societal norms make this utterly taboo. 

If ANYONE in our social circle EVER found out about this there'd be chaos.

It'd be worse if any of our family ever found out.

So we vascillate between these conflicts of thinking

This is fucking crazy... it's abnormal we should stop...

And

I can't wait for more of this...

Best summed up by my wife when she went to see him for their first playdate.

She messages me from the Uber she took to get there

This is fucking crazy. My brain keeps telling me to tell the Uber guy to turn around. I can't believe this is happening. It's like a mad dream and I keep wanting to wake up. But my panties are soaked... I'll probably stick to the car seat when I try and climb out. I'm so confused....

 Getting an experienced bull manages your expectations

So I have some fantasies about this lifestyle that I want my wife to fulfil.

Very much I would like to see her have one of two things.

- Come home with her panties filled with his cum.

- Them make a video after he cums in her and see the cum ooze out of her.

My wife was quite keen to fulfil this fantasy herself as she sees this as kind of her final step in being a hotwife.

Our bull was having none of it. Even hough we have both been in a monogamous marriage for on 20 years where we have been totally faithful to each other, his attitude is no balloon no party. At least until everyone has had blood tests for STDs sorted out.

 Closeness

My wife and I have not engaged in this much sex since we were at university together and had plenty of alone time to do the craziest things.

Although the newfound excitement in your sex life is mindblowing, there is another aspect to it.

During our years as a vanilla couple we still loved each other deeply and cared for each other enormously. We've literally been to hell and back as a couple with various of life's nastiness thrown at us which we had to cope with. But this is the thing. Over the years you get used to your life together, get comfortable, and kind of neglect each other in the hustle and bustle of a busy family and professional life. Over time you drift into a comfort zone. For us this was a two weekly sex on a Sunday evening and both of us doom scrolling social media, making dinner, ensuring kids were in bed on time and regarding even silent time together whilst we halfheartedly talked about our kids and work as quality time.

Boy has this dynamic changed that.

We are suddenly eager for alone time. We are incessantly talking about us. About our relationship, our feelings, our future, intimacy. We actually make time to spend together and we have intense intimate conversations about things sometimes which are uncomfortable but always about us. 

This has caused us to come closer together. To regard intimacy together with greater value and to respect and love ourselves and our differences and our similarities more and more.

A good example is our talk about the fear we both have - namely what happens if she or I feel she's falling for the Bull. This was an intense conversation where we both shared our feelings, our fears, our hopes, our ways to deal with this fear. The outcome was one where we both agreed that, if either of us feel this is happening they can discuss with the other and, either of us could pull the plug on the whole scene without needing to explain and the other would respect the decision. In the meatime we both agreed that we were in this just for fun. The Bull was told this and he wholeheartedly agreed that he did not want her falling for him and, in fact, if he felt it were going there, he wanted the choice to pull the plug and we would respect that. 

However, that intense, serious conversation about a potential threat to our marriage was in some way one which freed our ability to engage more candidly with each other in a respectful and understanding way. It's effect was to bring us closer together and strengthen our love and emotional bond and our marriage.

_____________________________
* I'm putting together a gallery of this position to show you. Apparently this is the favorite and not ass up face down.

**He has but afterwards apologised even though it gave both of us insight to his family challenges.

*** Wife thinks pussy eating is far more intimate a surrender by a woman than sex.