I’m a masturbator.

That one short sentence defines me rather well, I think. Of course, there are many different aspects to anyone’s life but if I had to sum myself up in one word, it would be ‘masturbator’. Since the age of 11, I have masturbated regularly; in the last few years, daily; and I can say with some confidence that, since I was 11, I have not gone more than a fortnight (consecutively) without masturbating.

In that time, I haven’t flirted, I haven’t dated, I haven’t kissed, and I haven’t fucked: I am a virgin and a pure masturbator. I am, retroactively, quite proud of this record, and do not intend to change it. In addition, I have always loved porn and erotica. My first crush was the beautiful Serena Wood, an erotic model: all these years later, I am still slightly in love. This has all contributed to an impression that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, so I’ve never had more than half-hearted interest, which has since evaporated.

So, in short: I am a masturbator.