I started shaving my pubes on and off in highschool, and always felt extremely hot while I did it and extremely guilty and ashamed of myself afterwards, until the hair grew back.

I was cripplingly shy as a teenager, and spent hourse masturbating and thinking about girls at school I was too shy to talk to. Being shaved made me more sensitive and felt good, but at the same time I felt ashamed of myself and imagined how disgusted they'd be if they saw me masturbating over them with no pubes.

These thoughts became more and more constant, until eventually I was thinking about them catching me/seeing me naked as I masturbated, and I started to think about exhibitionism and being naked in public.

As an adult I have been to nudist beaches on multiple occasions, and have experimented with being naked in national parks and masturbating in places where I might be seen. I stay completely hairless and sometimes even wear women's underwear to heighten my feelings of shame. I'd hate for someone to see me and be shocked or traumatised by the experience, but the danger and taboo excites me more and more.

I think about the women around me sexually all the time, even though outwardly I am quiet and serious and don't make sexual comments. I would be horrified if my friends or colleagues caught me out or recognised my online photos, but I can't stop.