From the Secret Mushroom Club Archive:

Excerpt from "Preen Like a Jock" in the SMCA.

“There’s no irony lost on a curious fact about MCs. Those with the self-proclaimed ugliest cocks are the most eager to flaunt them. Almost universally throughout MCs far and wide, the Jocks reign supreme on the preen.

Cock preening is ubiquitous in erotic materials from literature to modern media. The ‘stud’ erects his member and flexes, strokes, points, and waves it about in masculine display of dominance. His cock head whether flared or tapered bobs about, attracting the eye and stimulating in his rivals the animal urge to challenge it with superior force and toughness or mark it with one’s own sticky essence. Or maybe he lets it casually swing and bounce while flaccid. Disinterested, unengaged as his tool jiggles about incidentally until ready to engage, penetrate, tussle, and pulse. 

To the casual observer, preening in MCs might not look much different than most solo videos on any run-of-the-mill porn site. But to the eye of MC members, the Jock preens with primal instinct, un-choreographed yet fully intentional display of his combined desire and impulse to seek friction and combat. He welcomes the rivals in attendance to embarrass themselves by daring to expose their genitals in his presence.

A Jock’s preen antagonizes as much as it threatens. All aspects of the informal ritual are designed to communicate the fine unique details of the genitals, typically calling attention to the tributaries of veins crawling across their shafts, speaking to literal virility. Jocks grok the deep-seeded response to the texture transition of veins from the states of hooded to unhooded, flaccid to erect, welcoming to menacing. Top tier preeners master incidental contact between cocks. An errant swing grazes the rival’s plugs, or the heads brush each other leaving traces of pre-cum seemingly by mistake. The best in their clubs win through the convincing commitment to indifference as they attempt to upstage. Should their cock be best recognized, it’s by primal consensus. 

Their unrelenting grip hardens their rods that to accentuate their vascular members. The perfect wag is essential to show weight, control, and stiffness. A Jock’s wag sets the tone for his cockfight and the energy he will bring to a mount. Usually, it’s a slow, methodical, and vaguely dramatic entry into the rival’s ring. His intent is to prolong the entertainment provided by his conquest, building to the moment of full penetration when his balls sit comfortably against his rival’s with the intent to trigger demonstration (ejaculation) while his shaft rests comfortably inside. They take their time sinking their gnarled inches into their rival as they build to climax for demonstration themselves.

A Jock’s currency is in the picture he paints for the MC as a reliable erectionist with an unbeatable cock.

‘They called us the uglies, so we ran with it. Most of us were never bothered, because we know wherever we go, they can’t take their eyes of these monsters. Think about it—what’s on the walls of every men’s bathroom stall? A drawing of a big veiny cock. They worship us.’ -MC ||//| Dean 11”